Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and lacks coherence. Try to give a clear reason why you like singing, use simple and correct sentences, and avoid hesitation. For example, start with a clear topic sentence and then add a reason with linking words.

例: Yes, I like singing because it makes me feel happy and relaxed. Also, I enjoy expressing my emotions through songs.

提案: Your answer is confusing and incomplete. Please answer directly and clearly. If you want to add extra information, use linking words and complete sentences. Avoid repeating words and unclear phrases.

例: No, I have never taken singing lessons. However, when I was 15, I was the leader of a choir group at school.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and unclear. Try to state your answer clearly and avoid repeating words. Use correct pronouns and sentence structure.

例: I want to sing songs by Bobby because I really like his music. I would like to perform his songs for him one day.

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but has grammar mistakes and redundancy. Try to organize your ideas logically using linking words and correct grammar.

例: I believe singing can bring happiness to people. For me, singing and listening to music make me feel joyful and emotional.

× Because I I'm saying, well, I think and just funny and interesting.

✓ Because I like singing, well, I think it's just funny and interesting.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks a clear subject and verb structure. 'Because I I'm saying' is incorrect and confusing. The corrected sentence provides a clear subject ('I'), verb ('like'), and complements ('funny and interesting'). To improve, ensure sentences have a clear subject and verb and avoid fragments.

× No, I hadn't, but I when I was 15.

✓ No, I hadn't, but when I was 15,

The phrase 'I hadn't' is incomplete and incorrect in this context. It should be 'No, I hadn't learnt, but when I was 15,' or simply 'No, I hadn't, but when I was 15,' with a following clause. The original sentence is incomplete and confusing. To improve, use complete sentences and correct past tense forms.

× I am a leader for. Chang Deng. Chang Deng.

✓ I was a leader for Chang Deng.

The original sentence is fragmented and has unnecessary periods. 'I am' should be 'I was' to match past tense 'when I was 15'. Also, 'for. Chang Deng. Chang Deng.' is repetitive and incorrectly punctuated. To improve, use complete sentences with proper punctuation and consistent tense.

× I want sing his song for her, for him.

✓ I want to sing his songs for him.

The original sentence misses the infinitive 'to' after 'want' and uses conflicting pronouns 'her' and 'him'. Since 'Bobby' is likely male, 'him' is appropriate. Also, 'song' should be plural if referring generally. To improve, use correct infinitive forms and consistent pronouns.

× listening music too.

✓ listening to music too.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object. The original sentence omits 'to', which is incorrect. To improve, remember that 'listen' is followed by 'to' plus the object.

× When I'm singing I'm very happy, emotional I feel.

✓ When I'm singing, I feel very happy and emotional.

The original sentence has awkward word order and missing conjunctions. 'Emotional I feel' is incorrect; the correct order is 'I feel emotional'. Also, a comma is needed after the introductory clause. To improve, use proper word order and punctuation for clarity.