Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and unclear. Try to make your sentences more concise and avoid repeating words. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then explain how singing helps you relax compared to other tasks.

例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax and brings peace to my mind. Unlike other tasks that make me tense, singing calms me down and improves my mental state.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains repeated phrases. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid redundancy. Also, try to express your opinion more clearly.

例: Yes, I have learned the basics of singing, but I am not very confident because I feel my voice is not very beautiful. Therefore, I have not pursued singing seriously.

提案: Your answer shows emotion but has repeated words and some grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your sentences smoothly.

例: I want to sing for my mother because she has given me so much. Singing is my way of expressing gratitude, and I wish to sing for her whenever I can.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and unclear. Try to give a clear opinion and support it with reasons. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and avoid repeating the same words.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it positively affects people's mindset. When we sing, we feel calm and relaxed, which improves our mood.

× Yes, I like singing because when whenever I am singing, I my mind said my mental state will come to to a peace will come to peace.

✓ Yes, I like singing because whenever I am singing, my mental state comes to peace.

The sentence has redundant conjunctions 'when' and 'whenever' used together, which is incorrect. Also, 'my mind said' is incorrect in this context; it should be 'my mental state comes to peace'. The phrase 'will come to to a peace will come to peace' is repetitive and grammatically incorrect. Simplifying the sentence and removing redundant words improves clarity and correctness.

× And also so it would be getting relaxed rather than doing any other tasks or when doing a particular task, my mindset would be be much more tensed but.

✓ Also, it helps me get relaxed rather than when doing any other tasks, where my mindset becomes much more tense.

The original sentence has awkward adverb placement and redundancy ('And also so'). The phrase 'would be getting relaxed' is incorrect; 'helps me get relaxed' is better. 'My mindset would be be much more tensed but' is grammatically incorrect and unclear; 'my mindset becomes much more tense' is correct. Removing unnecessary words and correcting verb forms improves the sentence.

× Yes, I learned singing, I mean the basic of singing, the basics of singing, but I wasn't that much perfect in it.

✓ Yes, I learned singing, I mean the basics of singing, but I wasn't very good at it.

The phrase 'that much perfect' is incorrect; 'very good' or 'that perfect' is better. Also, 'the basic of singing' should be 'the basics of singing'. The sentence is corrected for proper plural form and natural expression.

× And also my voice is not that much perfect, that much beautiful, beautiful to sing.

✓ Also, my voice is not very perfect or beautiful for singing.

The phrase 'that much perfect' and 'that much beautiful' are incorrect; 'very perfect' and 'very beautiful' are correct. Also, 'beautiful to sing' is awkward; 'beautiful for singing' is better. The sentence is corrected for proper adjective usage and natural phrasing.

× So that way I could that singing.

✓ So, I couldn't sing well that way.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. It seems the speaker wants to say they couldn't sing well. The corrected sentence provides a clear and grammatically correct structure.

× I want to sing for my mother because she she have given me a lot things and I want to convey my thanks to her by singing.

✓ I want to sing for my mother because she has given me a lot of things, and I want to convey my thanks to her by singing.

The verb 'have' should be 'has' to agree with singular subject 'she'. Also, 'a lot things' should be 'a lot of things'. The sentence is corrected for subject-verb agreement and proper quantifier usage.

× That is my wish and also also I would like to to sing for her all the time.

✓ That is my wish, and I would also like to sing for her all the time.

The sentence has repeated words 'also also' and 'to to'. Also, the conjunction 'and' should be followed by a comma for clarity. The sentence is corrected for redundancy and proper conjunction use.

× Yes, singing can bring happiness to people rather than doing anything doing anything.

✓ Yes, singing can bring happiness to people more than doing anything else.

The phrase 'rather than doing anything doing anything' is repetitive and unclear. The corrected sentence uses 'more than doing anything else' to express the intended comparison clearly.

× Also also other it it relates to to the people's mindset.

✓ Also, it relates to people's mindset.

The sentence has repeated words 'also also', 'other it it', and 'to to'. Removing repetitions and unnecessary words improves clarity and correctness.

× And while singing we will get the calmness and our mind will be relaxed.

✓ While singing, we feel calm, and our mind becomes relaxed.

The phrase 'get the calmness' is unnatural; 'feel calm' is better. Also, 'our mind will be relaxed' is changed to 'our mind becomes relaxed' to match the present tense and natural expression.