Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but to improve, try to avoid redundancy and use more precise vocabulary. For example, instead of 'helps me to really stress,' you could say 'helps me relieve stress.' Also, linking your ideas more smoothly with connectors would enhance coherence.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions and helps me relieve stress after a long day. Moreover, I often sing with my friends after school, which makes the experience even more enjoyable and creates a lively atmosphere.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be improved by using more natural phrasing and linking your ideas better. Avoid short, choppy sentences and try to combine ideas for fluency. Also, use more precise vocabulary, for example, 'extracurricular activity' instead of 'extra curriculum.'

例: Yes, I did. My mum used to encourage me to join the school choir after classes, which I initially saw as just an extracurricular activity. Although I didn't enjoy it at first, I now believe it was worthwhile because I learned many valuable singing skills from the teachers.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more natural and fluent. Try to start with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, be careful with grammar, for example, 'had a hard day' should be 'have had a hard day.'

例: I would like to sing for strangers, especially those who have had a hard day. I hope that my singing can lift their spirits and help them to relax.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'knowledge each other' is incorrect; you might say 'get to know each other.' Also, try to use linking words to make your answer more coherent and expand your points with specific examples.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness to people because it allows them to express their emotions and relieve stress. Furthermore, when people sing together in a community, they can form strong bonds and get to know each other better, which creates a sense of belonging.

× Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions and helps me to really stress after a long day.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions and helps me to really relieve stress after a long day.

The verb 'stress' is incorrectly used here as a verb meaning to relax or reduce stress. The correct verb is 'relieve' when talking about reducing stress. Using 'stress' as a verb in this context is incorrect. The suggestion is to use 'relieve stress' to express the intended meaning.

× Yes I did. My mom used to force me to the school choir after school.

✓ Yes, I did. My mom used to force me to join the school choir after school.

The phrase 'force me to the school choir' is incorrect because 'force' requires an object and an infinitive verb to indicate the action. The correct form is 'force me to join the school choir'. This clarifies the action that the mother made the student do.

× I took it as an extra curriculum.

✓ I took it as an extracurricular activity.

The phrase 'extra curriculum' is incorrect. The correct term is 'extracurricular activity' which refers to activities outside the regular curriculum. Using 'extra curriculum' is a misuse of the noun and preposition.

× Although I was not enjoying it.

✓ Although I did not enjoy it.

The sentence 'Although I was not enjoying it.' is a fragment and incomplete. It should be connected to the previous or next sentence or rephrased to be a complete sentence. Also, 'did not enjoy' is more appropriate than 'was not enjoying' in this context to express past dislike.

× Now I think that it's worth it.

✓ Now I think that it was worth it.

The phrase 'Now I think that it's worth it.' mixes present tense 'now' with present 'it's worth it' referring to a past experience. Since the experience is in the past, 'was worth it' is more appropriate to reflect that the past experience had value.

× I learned a lot of singing skills from the teachers.

✓ I learnt a lot of singing skills from the teachers.

Both 'learned' and 'learnt' are past tense forms of 'learn'. 'Learnt' is more commonly used in British English, which fits the context of English (United Kingdom). This correction aligns with British English usage.

× I would like to say for strangers, especially those who had a hard day, I hope that my singing can improve their mood and help them relax.

✓ I would like to sing for strangers, especially those who have had a hard day. I hope that my singing can improve their mood and help them relax.

The phrase 'say for strangers' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'sing for strangers'. Also, 'those who had a hard day' should be 'those who have had a hard day' to indicate recent experience. The sentence was also split for clarity and correctness.

× People can sing to form bonds and knowledge each other.

✓ People can sing to form bonds and get to know each other.

The phrase 'knowledge each other' is incorrect because 'knowledge' is a noun, not a verb. The correct expression is 'get to know each other' which means to become familiar with one another. This correction fixes the misuse of the noun as a verb.