Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có ý tưởng tốt nhưng cần cải thiện về ngữ pháp và cách diễn đạt để tự nhiên hơn. Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh, đồng thời dùng từ vựng phù hợp hơn như 'relieve' thay vì 'relief'.

例: I really love singing because it helps me forget all my worries and relieves my stress. That's why I enjoy it so much.

提案: Câu trả lời thiếu rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, khiến ý nghĩa khó hiểu. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp, tránh lặp từ và diễn đạt rõ ràng hơn về việc học hát qua YouTube.

例: Yes, I have learned to sing by watching YouTube videos. Although I'm still practicing, I find it very helpful.

提案: Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng từ ngữ phù hợp hơn. Câu trả lời nên rõ ràng và tự nhiên hơn, ví dụ thay 'violent song' bằng 'off-key singing' hoặc 'not-so-good singing'.

例: I want to sing for my friends, peers, and family because they are the ones who can tolerate my not-so-good singing.

提案: Câu trả lời có ý tưởng tốt nhưng cần cải thiện ngữ pháp và cách dùng từ. Bạn nên dùng từ số nhiều đúng cách và tránh lặp từ, đồng thời dùng liên từ để câu mạch lạc hơn.

例: Absolutely. When people sing together and create a symphony, it builds a strong connection and allows them to share joy with each other.

× I really love singing because when I am singing, I. I feel like I can let all the world behind and relief from the stress and strain and I think that is the reason for me.

✓ I really love singing because when I am singing, I feel like I can leave the whole world behind and relieve myself from stress and strain, and I think that is the reason for me.

The sentence has a structure problem with an incomplete sentence fragment 'I.' and incorrect verb forms 'let' and 'relief'. 'Let all the world behind' should be 'leave the whole world behind' to express the intended meaning. 'Relief' is a noun; the correct verb form is 'relieve'. Also, 'relieve from the stress and strain' should be 'relieve myself from stress and strain' for clarity and correctness.

× Oh yes, I oh, I have also learned to to sing perfectly and I want the YouTube video and just write it like I am single now and I think it's it's quite stupid.

✓ Oh yes, I have also learned to sing perfectly by watching YouTube videos and just practicing like I am single now, and I think it's quite stupid.

The sentence has tense and word choice issues. 'Want the YouTube video' is incorrect; it should be 'by watching YouTube videos' to indicate the method of learning. The phrase 'just write it like I am single now' is unclear and likely a misuse; 'just practicing like I am single now' fits better. Also, repeated words like 'to to' and 'it's it's' should be corrected.

× I want to sing for my for my friends, for my peer and for my family. Yeah, because it's the people that can endure the the violent song of mine.

✓ I want to sing for my friends, my peers, and my family because they are the people who can endure my violent songs.

The sentence has singular/plural inconsistencies: 'peer' should be plural 'peers' to match 'friends' and 'family'. Also, 'the the' is a repeated article error. 'The violent song of mine' is awkward; 'my violent songs' is more natural. The relative pronoun 'that' is better replaced with 'who' when referring to people.

× Absolutely right, because when people are singing together and they become a Symphony, it make a strong connection and people are sharing the the enjoyment, the the reason with the with other.

✓ Absolutely right, because when people sing together and become a symphony, it makes a strong connection, and people share the enjoyment and the reason with others.

The verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. 'Symphony' should not be capitalized unless it is a proper noun. 'People are sharing' can be simplified to 'people share' for clarity. 'The the' is a repeated article error. 'With the with other' is incorrect; it should be 'with others'.