Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答时语言较为口语化且有些重复，建议减少重复表达，使用更自然流畅的句子，并且注意句子完整性。

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions and relieve stress. I especially like singing with my friends during karaoke sessions, as it helps us connect and have fun together.

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和词汇使用不当，如“saying”应为“singing”，“Hobbit”应为“hobby”，建议加强词汇准确性和语法练习。

例: Yes, I learned to sing when I was younger and joined my school choir. I have also participated in some local singing competitions. Singing is a family tradition, and I enjoy it as a hobby.

提案: 回答中有重复词汇和语法错误，建议注意句子流畅性和避免重复，同时可以使用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I want to sing for my family because they always support me. I feel comfortable and relaxed performing in front of them, and their encouragement motivates me to pursue my passion for music.

提案: 回答中有较多重复和语法错误，且表达不够清晰，建议简化句子结构，避免重复，并使用准确词汇表达观点。

例: Yes, singing can make people happier because it releases endorphins, which improve mood. Many people sing in the shower or car to feel better and lift their spirits.

× And also I do enjoy staying with my friends, especially during karaoke session.

✓ And also I do enjoy staying with my friends, especially during karaoke sessions.

这里的“karaoke session”应该用复数形式，因为通常指多次卡拉OK活动，符合语境。

× Yeah, I think it's a good way. It's a fun way and interesting to connect people who.

✓ Yeah, I think it's a good way. It's a fun and interesting way to connect people.

原句中“interesting to connect people who”结构不完整且用词不当，应改为“interesting way to connect people”使句子完整且语法正确。

× Yeah, sure, I learned it when I was younger and I'm also a member of my our school choir.

✓ Yeah, sure, I learned it when I was younger and I'm also a member of our school choir.

“my our school choir”中“my”多余，应删除。

× Oh, I I even participate in some in some local saying competition.

✓ Oh, I even participate in some local singing competitions.

“saying”应为“singing”，且“competition”应为复数“competitions”，表示多场比赛。

× As for our family, saying is a tradition, but for me, I also like enjoy it as a Hobbit.

✓ As for our family, singing is a tradition, but for me, I also enjoy it as a hobby.

“saying”应为“singing”，“like enjoy”重复，应删去“like”，且“Hobbit”应为“hobby”，意思为爱好。

× I think I want to sing for my family because they all they they always support me and I I feel really comfortable and relax performing in front of them and also they also keep encouraging me to pursue my passion for music.

✓ I think I want to sing for my family because they always support me and I feel really comfortable and relaxed performing in front of them, and they also keep encouraging me to pursue my passion for music.

句中多次重复“they all they they”和“I I”，应删除多余部分；“relax”应为形容词“relaxed”。

× The other thing thing can make people happier cause because it's it released endorphins which can make people happier.

✓ Another thing that can make people happier is that it releases endorphins, which can make people happier.

原句结构混乱，重复词语多，应调整为完整句子，使用正确的时态和结构。

× And it's it's a really common sense that you can see people saying shower or car to lift the mood.

✓ And it's common sense that you can see people singing in the shower or car to lift their mood.

“common sense”前不需要“a”，“saying”应为“singing”，“shower or car”应为“in the shower or car”，“lift the mood”应为“lift their mood”。