Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Tapai ko uttar ma thap spashta ra prabhavit bhanne tarikale angreji prayog garnu parcha. Tapai le prashna ko sidha uttar dinu parcha ra thap bibaran haru jodne bela ma linking words jastai 'because', 'so', 'therefore' prayog garnu parcha. Tapai ko uttar ma thap spashta tatha pramanik udaharan haru sametnu parcha.

例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me concentrate better while doing household chores. For example, when I sing, I feel more energetic and creative, which makes my work more enjoyable and efficient.

提案: Tapai le angreji ma grammar ko sahi prayog garnu parcha, jastai 'learned' ko thau ma 'learn' prayog garnu bhayeko cha. Tapai le prashna ko sidha uttar dinu parcha ra thap bibaran haru jodne bela ma linking words jastai 'however', 'but' prayog garnu parcha. Tapai ko uttar ma thap spashta tatha pramanik udaharan haru sametnu parcha.

例: No, I have never taken formal singing lessons. However, I enjoy singing in the bathroom, which makes me happy. I am interested in learning singing properly in the future.

提案: Tapai ko uttar ramro cha tara thap linking words jastai 'also', 'in addition' prayog garera uttar lai arko star ma lyauna saknuhuncha. Tapai le thap vivid tatha sambandhit shabda haru prayog garnu parcha jastai 'supportive', 'motivating', 'enthusiastic' jasto shabda haru.

例: I want to sing for my family because they are very supportive and encourage me to follow my dreams. In addition, I also enjoy performing for my friends at gatherings to create a joyful and lively atmosphere.

提案: Tapai le angreji ma sentence structure ra grammar ma sudhar garnu parcha. Tapai le prashna ko sidha uttar dinu parcha ra thap bibaran haru jodne bela ma linking words jastai 'for instance', 'however' prayog garnu parcha. Tapai ko uttar ma thap spashta tatha pramanik udaharan haru sametnu parcha.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness to people because music can influence our emotions. For instance, when I feel angry or sad, listening to loud or noisy music makes me feel worse. However, I prefer listening to happy songs to improve my mood.

× Yes, I love singing while doing the home chores.

✓ Yes, I love singing while doing the household chores.

The phrase 'home chores' is incorrect; the correct term is 'household chores' which refers to tasks done around the house. This is a vocabulary correction rather than a grammar mistake, but it improves clarity.

× It makes my work efficiently and more focused while enjoying the movement.

✓ It makes my work more efficient and helps me stay focused while enjoying the movement.

The adverb 'efficiently' is incorrectly used to describe 'work'. Instead, the adjective 'efficient' should be used to describe 'work'. Also, the sentence structure is awkward; adding 'helps me stay' clarifies the meaning.

× Whereas some do some work like doing creativity.

✓ Some people do creative work.

The original sentence is awkward and unclear. 'Doing creativity' is not a correct phrase. Rephrasing to 'Some people do creative work' makes the sentence clear and grammatically correct.

× I like to listen the music as per the environment so I can be more creative and innovative that time.

✓ I like to listen to music according to the environment so I can be more creative and innovative at that time.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' before its object. 'As per' is better replaced with 'according to' for natural English. 'That time' should be 'at that time' to indicate a specific moment.

× No I haven't learn anything about singing but yes I have little bit knowledge from just singing in the bathroom that makes me happy all the time.

✓ No, I haven't learned anything about singing but I have a little bit of knowledge from just singing in the bathroom, which makes me happy all the time.

The verb 'learn' should be in past participle form 'learned' after 'haven't'. Also, 'little bit knowledge' needs an article and preposition: 'a little bit of knowledge'. Adding commas improves sentence clarity.

× But if I talking about real course, no I haven't but I am keen to do that one also.

✓ But if I am talking about a real course, no, I haven't, but I am keen to do that one as well.

The verb 'talking' needs the auxiliary verb 'am' to form the present continuous tense. 'Real course' needs an article 'a'. 'Also' is better replaced with 'as well' at the end of the sentence.

× I want to sing for my family because they always support me and encourage me to follow my dreams.

✓ I want to sing for my family because they always support me and encourage me to follow my dreams.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× Sometimes I also like to perform for my friends at gathering to create a joyful atmosphere.

✓ Sometimes I also like to perform for my friends at gatherings to create a joyful atmosphere.

The noun 'gathering' should be plural 'gatherings' to indicate events in general.

× Yes, the singing will help people to change their mood as per the music.

✓ Yes, singing will help people change their mood according to the music.

The definite article 'the' before 'singing' is unnecessary here. Also, 'as per' is better replaced with 'according to'. The infinitive 'to change' is better as bare infinitive 'change' after 'help'.

× For example, when I was very angry and sad, if I listen to those kind of music, the noisy makes me more angry and more frustrating.

✓ For example, when I was very angry and sad, if I listened to those kinds of music, the noise made me more angry and more frustrated.

The conditional clause requires past tense 'listened'. 'Those kind of music' should be plural 'those kinds of music'. 'Noisy' is an adjective; the noun 'noise' is correct here. 'More frustrating' should be 'more frustrated' to describe the speaker's feeling.

× But rather than listening about that, I prefer to the happy so I can change my mind according to.

✓ But rather than listening to that, I prefer happy music so I can change my mood accordingly.

The verb 'listening' requires the preposition 'to'. 'Prefer to the happy' is incorrect; it should be 'prefer happy music'. 'Change my mind according to' is incomplete; 'change my mood accordingly' is clearer and grammatically correct.