Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tự nhiên và có nội dung rõ ràng, nhưng bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn. Ví dụ, bạn có thể dùng từ đồng nghĩa và thêm liên từ để nối các ý, giúp câu trả lời trôi chảy hơn.

例: Yes, I love singing because it is my favorite activity during my free time or when I am alone. Moreover, singing allows me to express my emotions deeply, especially when I sing songs that make me feel relaxed and happy. Therefore, it helps me connect with my feelings effectively.

提案: Bạn nên chú ý ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu để câu trả lời rõ ràng hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy sử dụng liên từ để nối các ý và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp như thiếu mạo từ hoặc giới từ.

例: Yes, I have. In my country, schools always include music as a subject, which has helped me improve my singing skills. However, apart from the classes, I haven't practiced singing much on my own.

提案: Bạn nên chú ý tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp như 'lead me to nervous'. Hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và thêm chi tiết cụ thể hơn để làm rõ ý.

例: I don't think I want to sing for anyone because I prefer singing alone. Singing by myself helps me express my feelings and connect deeply with my emotions. Moreover, when I sing in front of others, I often feel nervous, which affects my performance.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có nhiều lỗi ngắt quãng và lặp từ, làm giảm tính tự nhiên và hiệu quả. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp, sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh và liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I do. I believe that singing can bring happiness to people because it allows them to express their emotions freely and relieve stress. For example, many individuals enjoy singing online or streaming, which helps them feel more joyful and connected.

× Singing allows me to express my emotion, especially when I sing such a song, which makes me feel very relaxed and amazing.

✓ Singing allows me to express my emotions, especially when I sing such a song, which makes me feel very relaxed and amazing.

The word 'emotion' should be plural 'emotions' because it refers to multiple feelings expressed through singing, not just one. In English, when talking about feelings in general, the plural form is commonly used.

× It helped me connect with my feeling.

✓ It helps me connect with my feelings.

The sentence is about a general truth or ongoing effect, so present tense 'helps' is appropriate instead of past tense 'helped'. Also, 'feeling' should be plural 'feelings' to indicate multiple emotions.

× Yes I have in my country schools always include music as a subject which will help me a lot in my singing skills.

✓ Yes, I have. In my country, schools always include music as a subject, which helps me a lot with my singing skills.

The original sentence lacks proper punctuation and conjunctions, causing confusion. Adding commas and splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Also, 'will help' is changed to 'helps' to indicate a general fact.

× However apart of the classes I haven't really practiced singing much on my own.

✓ However, apart from the classes, I haven't really practiced singing much on my own.

The phrase 'apart of' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'apart from' to mean 'except for'. Commas are added for clarity.

× Singing by myself helped me express my feelings and connect deeply with my emotions.

✓ Singing by myself helps me express my feelings and connect deeply with my emotions.

The sentence describes a habitual action or general truth, so present tense 'helps' is more appropriate than past tense 'helped'.

× When I sing in front of the others, I often feel nervous, which can lead me to nervous.

✓ When I sing in front of others, I often feel nervous, which can make me nervous.

The phrase 'lead me to nervous' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'make me nervous'. Also, 'the others' is better as 'others' in this context.

× People. Yes I do. I believe that singing can bring happiness to people because it allows people.

✓ Yes, I do. I believe that singing can bring happiness to people because it allows them to express their emotions freely and relieve stress.

The original sentence is fragmented and incomplete. Combining sentences and clarifying the subject 'them' improves coherence and meaning.