Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm but contains some unclear phrases and grammatical errors, such as "athletes my mood" and "it whenever I sing my words seem to disappear." To improve, use clear and correct expressions, and organize your answer with a topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it helps improve my mood. For instance, whenever I feel stressed, singing allows me to relax and forget my worries. I usually sing at home, especially when I'm taking a bath.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, such as "I usually learn how to sing" and "try to shadowing this." To improve, use correct verb forms and clearer explanations, and connect your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I have learned to sing by watching YouTube videos, especially English songs. This method helps me understand the lyrics better, and I often practice by shadowing the singer's voice to improve my pronunciation.

提案: Your answer does not directly address who you want to sing for, and contains errors like "his Rep" instead of "his rap." To improve, answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, then add supporting details with correct vocabulary and linking words.

例: I would like to sing for my family and friends because they support me a lot. For example, I admire Eminem's rap style, and I practice by listening to his songs and shadowing his lyrics to improve my skills.

提案: Your answer is positive but somewhat vague and repetitive. To improve, provide specific reasons and examples, use linking words to connect ideas, and avoid redundancy.

例: Definitely, singing can bring happiness to people because music has the power to lift moods and reduce stress. For instance, when someone feels sad or worried, singing can help them feel more relaxed and positive.

× I definitely like singing because it athletes my mood.

✓ I definitely like singing because it lifts my mood.

The word 'athletes' is incorrectly used here; the correct verb is 'lifts' to express improving or raising one's mood.

× Now when I don't feel so relaxed, for example it whenever I sing my words seem to disappear and I become more positive.

✓ Now, when I don't feel so relaxed, for example, whenever I sing, my words seem to disappear and I become more positive.

Commas are needed to separate clauses and phrases for clarity and correct sentence structure.

× Usually I think at home or in the bath.

✓ Usually, I sing at home or in the bath.

The original sentence lacks clarity and proper verb usage; 'think' should be replaced with 'sing' to match the context.

× Have you ever learnt how to sing?

✓ Have you ever learned how to sing?

'Learned' is the preferred past participle in American English; 'learnt' is more common in British English.

× I usually learn how to sing especially in English from YouTube lyrics because it helps me to better understand the words of singer or the words of music.

✓ I usually learn how to sing, especially in English, from YouTube lyrics because it helps me better understand the words of the singer or the lyrics of the music.

Added commas for clarity; 'helps me to better understand' is better as 'helps me better understand'; 'words of singer' should be 'words of the singer'; 'words of music' should be 'lyrics of the music' for accuracy.

× So I always try to shadowing this.

✓ So I always try to shadow this.

'Try to' should be followed by the base form of the verb, not the '-ing' form.

× Especially I like Eminem and his Rep is very influential on me.

✓ I especially like Eminem, and his rap is very influential to me.

'Especially' should be placed after the subject for natural word order; 'Rep' should be 'rap'; 'influential on me' is better expressed as 'influential to me'.

× He's my role model rapper.

✓ He's my role model as a rapper.

The phrase needs 'as a' to correctly express the role model relationship.

× So I usually turn on lyrics on YouTube and listen to Eminem and I'm trying to shadow his rap.

✓ So I usually turn on lyrics on YouTube, listen to Eminem, and try to shadow his rap.

Parallel structure requires consistent verb forms; 'I'm trying' should be 'try' to match the other verbs.

× Definitely, yes. The music can make people happy because it has a great impact on people who feel sad, who feel worry, and it has some influence.

✓ Definitely, yes. Music can make people happy because it has a great impact on people who feel sad or worried, and it has some influence.

'The music' is incorrect here; 'music' as a general concept does not need 'the'; 'feel worry' should be 'feel worried' to use the correct adjective form.