Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and fluent by using simpler and more common expressions. Also, avoid redundancy by not repeating the same idea. For example, instead of saying "I think that I have not such melodious voice," you could say "I don't have a melodious voice."

例: I don't like singing because I don't have a melodious voice, so I usually avoid it.

提案: Focus on making your sentences more grammatically correct and natural. For example, say "I was not very interested in singing" instead of "I was not being very interested." Also, use linking words like "but" to connect ideas smoothly.

例: No, I was not very interested in singing, so I never tried to learn it. But I enjoy listening to music because soft and rhythmic songs help me relax.

提案: Try to use more natural expressions and correct grammar. For example, say "I used to sing poems to my children when they were young" and "I feel a bit self-conscious singing in social gatherings." Also, use linking words like "because" to explain reasons clearly.

例: I used to sing poems to my children when they were young, but that's about it. I feel a bit self-conscious singing in social gatherings because I don't think I have a melodious voice.

提案: Avoid redundancy by not repeating the word "emotions" twice. Use more natural phrases like "powerful way to express feelings." Also, try to connect your ideas smoothly with linking words such as "therefore" or "so."

例: Yes, singing is a powerful way to express feelings. Therefore, I think people enjoy singing because it helps them relax and express themselves.

× I know I don't like singing because I think that I have not such melodious voice, so I avoid singing.

✓ I know I don't like singing because I think that I do not have such a melodious voice, so I avoid singing.

The phrase 'I have not such melodious voice' is incorrect because 'voice' is a singular countable noun and requires an article. The correct form is 'I do not have such a melodious voice'. Also, 'do not' is preferred over 'have not' in this context for negation in English (Canada).

× No, I I was not being very interested in singing so I never tried to learn about it.

✓ No, I was not very interested in singing so I never tried to learn about it.

The phrase 'was not being very interested' is incorrect because 'being' is unnecessary here. The correct past tense form is 'was not very interested'. The verb 'to be' in past continuous is not used with states like 'interested'.

× However, I like to listen music.

✓ However, I like to listen to music.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object. The correct phrase is 'listen to music'.

× Soft and rhythmic music makes me to relax my emotions, so I prefer listening to music rather than singing.

✓ Soft and rhythmic music makes me relax my emotions, so I prefer listening to music rather than singing.

The verb 'make' is followed by the base form of the verb without 'to'. Therefore, 'makes me to relax' should be 'makes me relax'.

× I am a bit self-conscious to sing in social gatherings because I think that I'm not having a melodious voice so I don't prefer to sing.

✓ I am a bit self-conscious about singing in social gatherings because I think that I don't have a melodious voice so I don't prefer to sing.

The phrase 'self-conscious to sing' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'about' followed by the gerund 'singing'. Also, 'I'm not having' is incorrect for possession; it should be 'I don't have'.

× I think that I'm not having a melodious voice so I don't prefer to sing.

✓ I think that I don't have a melodious voice so I don't prefer to sing.

The verb 'have' to express possession is not used in the present continuous form 'I'm having' in English (Canada). The correct form is the simple present 'I don't have'.

× Singing is a very forceful, emotional way of expressing emotions.

✓ Singing is a very powerful, emotional way of expressing emotions.

The adjective 'forceful' is less appropriate here; 'powerful' better conveys the intended meaning in English (Canada).

× So I think that people enjoy singing and that is a mode of relaxation for them and sort of expression of their feelings.

✓ So I think that people enjoy singing and that it is a mode of relaxation for them and a sort of expression of their feelings.

The sentence is missing the pronoun 'it' to refer to 'singing' and the article 'a' before 'sort of expression'. Both are necessary for grammatical correctness.