Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu tính tự nhiên và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh dùng các cấu trúc phức tạp không chính xác. Hãy sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp và câu trả lời ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn.

例: No, I don't like singing because I am not good at it. Whenever I sing, people usually cover their ears. Therefore, I prefer not to sing in public.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với câu chủ đề, sử dụng các liên từ để làm rõ ý và tránh dùng từ ngữ không chính xác hoặc lặp lại.

例: Yes, I have tried to learn how to sing properly. I often exaggerate the notes, so I practice to control my voice and make it sound more natural.

提案: Bạn nên trả lời câu hỏi một cách trực tiếp và sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh. Hãy tránh lặp từ và sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy dùng từ vựng phù hợp và chính xác hơn.

例: I don't want to sing for anyone because I am not a good singer. However, if I had a good voice, I would sing for my parents to make them proud.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có ý tưởng tốt nhưng thiếu sự rõ ràng và có lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên sử dụng các liên từ để kết nối ý và diễn đạt rõ ràng hơn. Hãy tránh dùng các từ không chính xác và hoàn thành câu trả lời.

例: Absolutely yes, I think singing can bring happiness because it affects our brain subconsciously. People naturally want to dance and enjoy music, which makes them feel joyful.

× No, I hated singing because I wasn't such a bad singer.

✓ No, I hated singing because I was such a bad singer.

The original sentence uses 'wasn't such a bad singer' which contradicts the intended meaning. The student likely meant to say they were a bad singer, so 'was' should be used instead of 'wasn't' to correctly express the past state.

× So I did test the idea of me singing since then.

✓ So I have tested the idea of me singing since then.

The phrase 'did test' is awkward and the use of 'since then' requires present perfect tense to indicate an action continuing from the past to present. Therefore, 'have tested' is more appropriate.

× All the time I have learned from how to make this, how to make it sound more, you know, neutral.

✓ All the time I have been learning how to make this, how to make it sound more, you know, neutral.

The phrase 'I have learned from how to make this' is incorrect. The correct form is 'I have been learning how to make this' to express an ongoing process. Also, 'learned from how to make this' is ungrammatical; 'learning how to make this' is correct.

× I usually over exaggerate every note in the in the song, so I have to, you know, stabilize every note that I'm making.

✓ I usually over-exaggerate every note in the song, so I have to, you know, stabilize every note that I'm making.

The phrase 'in the in the song' contains a repeated preposition 'in the'. Removing the duplicate corrects the sentence.

× But if I were to have an excellent voice, I would sing for my parents.

✓ But if I had an excellent voice, I would sing for my parents.

The phrase 'if I were to have' is less natural than the simple past subjunctive 'if I had' in conditional sentences expressing hypothetical situations.

× And every time they are out of things to brag about, they they going to brag about me.

✓ And every time they are out of things to brag about, they are going to brag about me.

The sentence has a repeated pronoun 'they they' and is missing the auxiliary verb 'are' before 'going to'. Correcting these improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Absolutely yes, because singing vibrating is is quite subconsciously in our brain.

✓ Absolutely yes, because singing and vibrating are quite subconscious in our brain.

The phrase 'singing vibrating is is quite subconsciously' is ungrammatical and unclear. It likely intends to say 'singing and vibrating are quite subconscious'. Also, 'subconsciously' is an adverb, but an adjective 'subconscious' is needed here.

× It's like human instinct to dance after music and dance after songs, after singing and after lyrics.

✓ It's like a human instinct to dance to music and songs, after singing and hearing lyrics.

The phrase 'dance after music' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'dance to music'. Also, 'human instinct' needs an article 'a'. The sentence is restructured for clarity.