Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit long and unclear. Try to make your sentences shorter and more natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid redundancy and grammar mistakes.

例: I don't consider myself a good singer, but I enjoy listening to songs because they help me relax after work. Music creates a soothing environment that relieves my stress.

提案: Your answer is understandable but can be improved by using better linking words and clearer structure. Avoid vague phrases like 'and so on'. Provide specific details about your experience and family support.

例: No, I have never learned to sing formally since childhood. Although I enjoy listening to songs occasionally, my family did not encourage me to pursue singing as a career.

提案: Your answer is heartfelt but can be more natural and fluent. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same words. Try to express your feelings more clearly and naturally.

例: I would like to sing for my wife because I love her deeply. I believe that singing is a beautiful way to express my feelings and make her happy.

提案: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to organize your ideas logically and use correct grammar. Start with a clear statement, then explain why singing brings happiness with specific reasons.

例: Yes, I think singing can bring happiness because it helps people forget their stress and feel joyful. Singing allows people to express their emotions and relax their minds.

× Basically, I don't have the quality to be a singer, but I used to hear a song because a song relieves my tension and pressure in my workplace and it makes me feel like a environment that can be very much soothing for me and.

✓ Basically, I don't have the quality to be a singer, but I used to listen to songs because songs relieve my tension and pressure at my workplace and they make me feel like in an environment that can be very soothing for me.

The phrase 'used to hear a song' is incorrect; the verb 'hear' is passive and does not fit the intended meaning. The correct verb is 'listen to' when actively paying attention to music. Also, 'a song' should be plural 'songs' to match the general statement. 'Relieves' should be 'relieve' to agree with plural 'songs'. 'Pressure in my workplace' should be 'pressure at my workplace' for correct preposition use. 'It makes me feel like a environment' is incorrect; 'environment' is a countable noun and needs an article 'an'. Also, 'like a environment' should be 'like in an environment' to express the feeling properly.

× No, I haven't learned how to sing from my childhood, but I used to listen songs every now and then.

✓ No, I haven't learned how to sing since my childhood, but I used to listen to songs every now and then.

The phrase 'from my childhood' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'since' to indicate a starting point in time. Also, 'listen songs' is incorrect; the verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' before the object, so it should be 'listen to songs'.

× My family also did not support me to be a singer and so on.

✓ My family also did not support me to become a singer, and so on.

The phrase 'support me to be a singer' is incorrect; the correct form is 'support me to become a singer' or 'support me in becoming a singer'. Also, 'and so on' is vague and unnecessary here; it can be omitted or clarified.

× I want to sing for my wife because I love my wife very much. I have every feelings to my wife. Feelings can be delivered singing a song, I believe.

✓ I want to sing for my wife because I love her very much. I have every feeling for her. Feelings can be delivered by singing a song, I believe.

Repeating 'my wife' is redundant; pronouns like 'her' should be used for variety and clarity. 'Every feelings' is incorrect; 'feelings' is plural, so 'every' should be replaced with 'every feeling' or 'all feelings'. The phrase 'feelings can be delivered singing a song' is missing a preposition; it should be 'delivered by singing a song'.

× Obviously singing can bring happiness to the people sing as music can really pressure attention from the workplace or from the tensioned mind and people can people try to sing a song because.

✓ Obviously, singing can bring happiness to people, as music can really relieve pressure from the workplace or from a tense mind, and people can try to sing a song because of that.

The original sentence is fragmented and confusing. 'People sing as music can really pressure attention' is incorrect and unclear. The correct phrase is 'music can really relieve pressure'. 'Tensioned mind' is incorrect; the adjective should be 'tense mind'. The sentence needs proper conjunctions and structure to convey the intended meaning clearly.