Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn cần rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn. Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng từ vựng chính xác hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy chú ý ngữ pháp và phát âm để câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn. Ví dụ, bạn có thể nói về lợi ích của việc hát một cách cụ thể và rõ ràng hơn.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it helps me relax after a busy day at school. Also, I practice regularly to improve my vocal range and control.

提案: Bạn cần cải thiện cấu trúc câu và ngữ pháp để câu trả lời rõ ràng và dễ hiểu hơn. Tránh lặp từ và nói dứt khoát. Hãy cung cấp thông tin cụ thể về việc học hát và người dạy bạn.

例: Yes, I started learning to sing when I was shy. My piano teacher taught me how to control my voice and express emotions through singing.

提案: Bạn nên tránh sử dụng nhiều từ ngập ngừng như "umm" và nói rõ ràng, mạch lạc hơn. Hãy sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp để diễn đạt cảm xúc và lý do bạn muốn hát cho mẹ nghe.

例: I want to sing for my mother because she enjoys listening to my voice. Singing allows me to express my feelings and show my love for her.

提案: Câu trả lời cần được tổ chức tốt hơn với câu chủ đề rõ ràng và các chi tiết hỗ trợ mạch lạc. Hạn chế lặp từ và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời trôi chảy hơn.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it allows people to express their emotions. Sharing music with friends can also create joyful moments.

× I want to I want to improve my voice frequency frequency every day.

✓ I want to improve my voice frequency every day.

The repetition of 'I want to' is unnecessary and incorrect. The verb 'want' should be followed by the base form of the verb without repetition. Remove the repeated phrase to correct the sentence.

× Not only improve my voice frequency, singing can help me reduce threat food after a fresh day at school.

✓ Not only does singing improve my voice frequency, but it can also help me reduce stress after a fresh day at school.

The phrase 'reduce threat food' is incorrect and unclear. Likely, the intended meaning is 'reduce stress.' Also, the sentence structure is incomplete; 'Not only' should be followed by 'does singing' to form a correct sentence. The correction clarifies meaning and corrects sentence structure.

× I have learned to think when I when I was shy.

✓ I learned to sing when I was shy.

The phrase 'learned to think' is likely a mistake; the context suggests 'learned to sing.' Also, 'have learned' is acceptable but 'learned' fits better with the past time reference 'when I was shy.' The repetition 'when I' is also removed for clarity.

× I was teaches by my piano my my piano teacher.

✓ I was taught by my piano teacher.

The verb 'teaches' is incorrectly used in passive voice; the correct past participle is 'taught.' Also, the repetition 'my my piano teacher' is an error and should be corrected to 'my piano teacher.'

× He teach me how to how to control my voice frequency and how to transfer my.

✓ He taught me how to control my voice frequency and how to transfer my emotions.

The verb 'teach' should be in past tense 'taught' to match the past context. The phrase 'how to transfer my' is incomplete; adding 'emotions' completes the thought.

× I want to sing for my mother, umm, because my mom is very, it's really nice, really nice listening umm, my voice.

✓ I want to sing for my mother because she really enjoys listening to my voice.

The sentence has unclear pronoun references and awkward phrasing. 'My mom is very, it's really nice' is incorrect. Replacing with 'she really enjoys listening to my voice' clarifies meaning and corrects pronoun use.

× So I want to transfer my emotions, umm, through, umm, through uh, my thinking.

✓ So I want to express my emotions through my singing.

The phrase 'transfer my emotions through my thinking' is awkward and incorrect. The correct preposition is 'through,' but the object should be 'singing' to make sense. 'Express' is a better verb choice here.

× Sure, because people can transfer those their emotion through the singing, through the song and and they were happiness when their lives have had music, music with a friend with a friend.

✓ Sure, because people can express their emotions through singing and songs, and they feel happiness when their lives have music, especially with friends.

The phrase 'those their emotion' is incorrect; 'their emotions' is correct. 'They were happiness' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'they feel happiness.' Repetition of 'with a friend' is removed. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correctness.