Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: သင်၏အဖြေတွင် "uh" နှင့် "to to" ကဲ့သို့သော အကြောင်းအရာများကို လျှော့ချပြီး ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး ထိရောက်သော စကားပြောမှုဖြစ်အောင် ကြိုးစားပါ။ အကြောင်းပြချက်များကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးအသုံးအနှုန်းကို ပိုမိုကောင်းမွန်စေရန် ကြိုးစားပါ။

例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me reduce stress and anxiety. Singing in front of people makes me feel confident and recharged.

提案: အဖြေကို ပြည့်စုံပြီး သဘာဝကျစေရန် စကားလုံးများကို ပြန်လည်စီစဉ်ပါ။ "and to" ကဲ့သို့သော မပြီးစီးသော စကားများကို ရှောင်ကြဉ်ပါ။ ထို့အပြင် သင်တန်းသင်ယူမှုအကြောင်းကို ပိုမိုအသေးစိတ် ဖော်ပြပါ။

例: Yes, when I was a child, my grandma taught me how to sing sweetly and loudly. She helped me practice regularly to improve my voice.

提案: အကြောင်းအရာများကို ထပ်တလဲလဲ မပြောကြားဘဲ တိကျသေချာစွာ ပြောဆိုပါ။ "Yes" ကို မလိုအပ်ပါက မစတင်ပါနှင့်။ စကားလုံးများကို ထပ်တလဲလဲ မသုံးပါနှင့်။ ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး တိကျသော စကားပြောမှုကို အသုံးပြုပါ။

例: I want to sing for everyone because I enjoy performing on stage. Currently, I often sing for my family, and they always support and encourage me.

提案: အကြောင်းအရာများကို ထပ်တလဲလဲ မပြောကြားဘဲ တိကျသေချာစွာ ပြောဆိုပါ။ "Yeah" ကို ပိုမိုတရားဝင်သော "Yes" ဖြင့် အစားထိုးပါ။ စကားလုံးများကို ထပ်တလဲလဲ မသုံးပါနှင့်။ ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး တိကျသော စကားပြောမှုကို အသုံးပြုပါ။

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it helps people relax and reduce stress. Therefore, singing is a great way to improve one's mood.

× Yes, I like singing because it helped me a lot to uh, to reduce the stress and anxiety and it makes me feel better when I I have done singing in front of the people and it helped me to to recharge my batteries.

✓ Yes, I like singing because it helps me a lot to reduce stress and anxiety and it makes me feel better when I sing in front of people and it helps me to recharge my batteries.

The original sentence incorrectly mixes past tense 'helped' and present perfect 'have done' with present tense context. Since the student is talking about a habitual action, present tense should be used consistently. Use 'helps' and 'sing' to indicate ongoing or repeated actions.

× Yes, when I was a kid my grandma taught me how to sing and sweetly and loudly and to.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid my grandma taught me how to sing sweetly and loudly.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and to' which is incomplete and incorrect. Also, 'sweetly and loudly' should directly modify 'sing'. The past tense 'taught' is correct here as it refers to a past event.

× Yes, I I want to sing for all of the people and loud and clear. I enjoy singing in front of the P, in front of the people on the stage and I really enjoy singing in front of the people. Right now I sing for my families and they they listen to me very well and they support me too much.

✓ Yes, I want to sing for all the people loud and clear. I enjoy singing in front of people on the stage and I really enjoy it. Right now I sing for my family and they listen to me very well and support me a lot.

'Families' is incorrect when referring to one's own family; 'family' is the correct singular collective noun. Also, 'all of the people' can be simplified to 'all the people'. 'Too much' support is better expressed as 'a lot' for positive meaning. Removed repeated words and corrected phrasing for clarity.

× Yeah, singing is the best way to recharge their batteries. And singing can reduce a lot of stress and anxiety and it can help to reduce their stress and anxiety. That's why they they really need to open up their mind to sing a lot.

✓ Yeah, singing is the best way to recharge your batteries. Singing can reduce a lot of stress and anxiety and help reduce stress and anxiety. That's why people really need to open up their minds and sing a lot.

The original uses 'their' and 'they' ambiguously. Changing to 'your' makes it more direct and clear. Also, 'mind' should be plural 'minds' when referring to people in general. Removed repeated words and improved sentence flow.