Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and natural, but try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, instead of 'in the evening time when I am just chilling out of my home in the balcony,' you can say 'in the evenings while relaxing on my balcony.' Also, keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: I don't enjoy singing much, but I love listening to music because it helps me relax. In the evenings, I often sit on my balcony and listen to calming songs, which makes me feel peaceful.

提案: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by using better linking words and clearer sentence structure. For example, use 'In the past' instead of 'In the back days' and add linking words like 'so' to connect ideas. Also, avoid repeating 'class' multiple times.

例: No, I have never learned how to sing. In the past, my school offered dance, swimming, and art classes, but we didn't have singing classes because singing is not very popular in Nepal.

提案: Your answer is heartfelt but contains some confusing and redundant phrases. Avoid saying 'She is not my mother' after mentioning your mother. Also, correct grammar mistakes like 'who to whom' and 'every small details.' Try to be clear and concise.

例: I would like to sing for my mother because she has been my support since childhood. She is like my best friend, and I can share all the details of my life with her.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and has grammatical errors. Try to complete your thoughts and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say 'For instance, a person facing difficulties or exhaustion can feel relaxed by listening to singing.' Also, avoid repeating phrases unnecessarily.

例: Yes, singing can bring happiness to people. For instance, someone who is stressed or tired after a long day can feel calm and joyful by listening to songs.

× Honestly speaking, I'm not fond of singing but I do love listening to music as they are more calming.

✓ Honestly speaking, I'm not fond of singing but I do love listening to music as it is more calming.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrectly used to refer to 'music', which is uncountable and singular. The correct pronoun is 'it'. Use 'it' for uncountable nouns like 'music'.

× They help me feel relaxed, especially in the evening time when I am just chilling out of my home in the balcony.

✓ They help me feel relaxed, especially in the evening when I am just chilling out on my balcony at home.

The preposition 'out of my home in the balcony' is incorrect. The correct prepositions are 'on my balcony' and 'at home'. Use 'on' for balcony and 'at' for home location.

× In the back days in my school we usually had our dance class, swimming class, art class but we never had our singing class as it is not much popular in Nepal.

✓ In the past days at my school, we usually had our dance class, swimming class, art class but we never had our singing class as it was not very popular in Nepal.

The phrase 'back days' is incorrect; 'past days' or 'in the past' is correct. Also, 'it is not much popular' should be in past tense 'it was not very popular' to match the past context.

× She is not my mother. She is my best friend who to whom I can share every small details about my life, what what's going on, what I am I'm going to do next and so on.

✓ She is not just my mother. She is my best friend to whom I can share every small detail about my life, what's going on, what I am going to do next and so on.

The phrase 'who to whom' is incorrect; it should be 'to whom'. Also, 'every small details' should be 'every small detail' because 'every' is followed by singular noun.

× Yes, definitely singing can bring a lot of joy in individuals life, in people's life. I would like to say. For instance, a person facing life trouble or who is exhausted by their long days can feel relaxed and calm by listening to.

✓ Yes, definitely singing can bring a lot of joy in an individual's life, in people's lives. For instance, a person facing life troubles or who is exhausted by long days can feel relaxed and calm by listening to music.

The phrase 'individuals life' should be 'an individual's life' to show possession. 'Life trouble' should be plural 'life troubles'. The sentence 'I would like to say.' is incomplete and unnecessary. The last sentence is incomplete and needs 'music' to complete the meaning.