Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but can be improved by correcting grammar and making the sentences more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and ensure smooth flow by using linking words. For example, instead of "helps my making my mind calm and happy," say "helps calm my mind and makes me happy."

例: To be honest, I don't like singing, but I love listening to music because it helps calm my mind and makes me happy. Moreover, it acts as a stressbuster and gives me energy to work throughout the day.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and has grammatical errors. Try to complete your thoughts and avoid unfinished sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons or examples. For instance, explain why singing makes you feel alive and energetic.

例: No, I haven't learned to sing professionally, but I enjoy singing at home and with my friends and family. Singing makes me feel more alive and energetic because music is known to uplift moods and bring people together.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by correcting grammar and making sentences more natural. Use linking words like 'because' and 'which' to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid redundancy and be more specific about how singing strengthens your bond.

例: I love singing for my friends and family because they always cheer me on for my achievements. Singing together makes us feel more connected and strengthens our relationships.

提案: Your answer conveys the idea but has grammatical mistakes and informal phrases like 'you know, casually also.' Use formal and clear language, and explain your points with linking words. For example, replace 'therapeutical' with 'therapeutic' and clarify how singing brings happiness.

例: Yes, singing can bring happiness to people because music is recognized worldwide as a therapeutic method. Therefore, it helps people feel happy both in a healing way and during casual enjoyment.

× It helps my making my mind calm and happy and also feels like a stressbuster.

✓ It helps me calm and happy and also feels like a stressbuster.

The phrase 'helps my making' is incorrect because 'help' is followed by the base form of the verb or 'to' plus base verb, not a possessive pronoun plus gerund. The correct form is 'helps me calm my mind'. Also, 'calm and happy' should be linked properly with 'me'.

× It helps my making my mind calm and happy and also feels like a stressbuster.

✓ It helps me calm my mind and feel happy and also feels like a stressbuster.

The verb 'help' should be followed by the base verb 'calm' and 'feel' rather than 'making'. Also, 'my mind calm and happy' is better expressed as 'calm my mind and feel happy' to maintain parallel structure.

× Singing also makes us feel like more alive and energetic sometimes because music is being identified as one of the.

✓ Singing also makes us feel more alive and energetic sometimes because music is identified as one of the.

The phrase 'feel like more alive' is incorrect; 'feel more alive' is correct. Also, 'music is being identified' is awkward; the simple present passive 'music is identified' is more appropriate here.

× Also, it makes us feel really connected towards each other while at that time.

✓ Also, it makes us feel really connected to each other at that time.

The preposition 'connected' is correctly followed by 'to' not 'towards' in this context. Also, 'while at that time' is redundant; 'at that time' suffices.

× Yes, singing can be very helpful for for people because music has been identified as one of the most therapeutical way around the world.

✓ Yes, singing can be very helpful for people because music has been identified as one of the most therapeutic ways around the world.

The phrase 'helpful for for people' has a repeated preposition 'for'. Also, 'therapeutical' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'therapeutic'. 'Way' should be plural 'ways' to agree with 'one of the'.