Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct grammar and more natural phrasing. For example, say "it refreshes my mood and helps me relax" instead of "helping relaxing." Also, keep your answer concise and clear.

例: Yes, I like singing because it refreshes my mood and helps me relax after a long day.

提案: Focus on clear sentence structure and correct verb forms. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, say "I have learnt singing from my friend, who is a good singer and gave me useful tips on how to sing efficiently."

例: Yes, I have learnt singing from my friend, who is a good singer and gave me useful tips on how to sing efficiently.

提案: Use correct verb forms and clearer expressions. Also, use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "I want to sing for my family because they have always supported me. Singing for them makes me happy and I hope it relaxes them too."

例: I want to sing for my family because they have always supported me. Singing for them makes me happy and I hope it relaxes them too.

提案: Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words. For example, "Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people because it helps them relax and forget their hectic schedules. Therefore, singing can bring joy to both individuals and their families."

例: Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people because it helps them relax and forget their hectic schedules. Therefore, singing can bring joy to both individuals and their families.

× Yes, I like singing because it refreshes my mood and helping relaxing.

✓ Yes, I like singing because it refreshes my mood and helps me relax.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'helping relaxing' after 'and'. After 'and', a verb in the base form or third person singular form should be used to maintain parallel structure. 'Helps me relax' is correct because 'help' is a verb that can be followed by the base form of another verb. Also, 'relaxing' is a gerund and does not fit here as a verb complement.

× Yes, I somewhere learnt about singing through my friend which is a good singer that giving that give me tips for how singing efficiently occurred.

✓ Yes, I once learnt about singing through my friend, who is a good singer and gave me tips on how to sing efficiently.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'somewhere' is incorrectly used instead of 'once' or 'somewhere else'; 'which' should be 'who' when referring to a person; 'that giving that give me tips' is incorrect and should be 'and gave me tips'; 'for how singing efficiently occurred' is awkward and should be 'on how to sing efficiently'. The past tense 'learnt' and 'gave' are appropriate here.

× I want to sing for my family because my family provide me very beneficial things and thoughts, so I really want to sing to my family to make them happy or to feel relaxing.

✓ I want to sing for my family because they provide me with very beneficial things and thoughts, so I really want to sing to them to make them happy or help them feel relaxed.

The phrase 'provide me very beneficial things' is missing the preposition 'with'. Also, 'to feel relaxing' is incorrect; it should be 'help them feel relaxed' or 'help them relax'. Additionally, 'my family provide' should be 'my family provides' for subject-verb agreement, but this is addressed in another correction.

× I want to sing for my family because my family provide me very beneficial things and thoughts, so I really want to sing to my family to make them happy or to feel relaxing.

✓ I want to sing for my family because my family provides me with very beneficial things and thoughts, so I really want to sing to my family to make them happy or help them feel relaxed.

The subject 'my family' is singular and requires the singular verb 'provides' instead of 'provide'. This is a subject-verb agreement error.

× Yes singing can bring happiness to people as their as everyone individual apart from their hectic schedule for allowing to relaxing their mood.

✓ Yes, singing can bring happiness to people as it allows every individual to relax their mood despite their hectic schedule.

The original sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. 'As their as everyone individual' is incorrect; it should be 'as it allows every individual'. 'For allowing to relaxing their mood' is incorrect; it should be 'to relax their mood'. The sentence structure is corrected to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× So singing bring happiness to them and their family also.

✓ So singing brings happiness to them and their families as well.

The verb 'bring' should be 'brings' to agree with the singular subject 'singing'. Also, 'family' can be pluralized to 'families' if referring to multiple families, and 'also' is better replaced with 'as well' for naturalness.