Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid repetition like "I I" and clarify your point about emotions more smoothly. Try to use linking words to connect your ideas and make your answer more coherent.

例: Yes, I quite enjoy singing because it helps people express emotions that are sometimes difficult to articulate.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by using more natural phrasing and linking your ideas better. Instead of 'learned about how to do beats,' you could say 'learned how to keep rhythm and sing melodies.' Also, avoid negative self-assessment without elaboration.

例: Yes, I learned how to keep rhythm and sing melodies when I was in Junior School, but I still consider myself a beginner.

提案: Your answer is honest but could be more structured and natural. Avoid phrases like 'it's little bit petty to say it actually' which sound informal and uncertain. Use linking words to explain your feelings clearly and avoid redundancy.

例: I would like to sing for my ex-boyfriend to express the pain I felt after our breakup, so he understands my feelings.

提案: Your answer is positive but could be more fluent and precise. Avoid filler phrases like 'you know' and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide a clearer explanation.

例: Yes, I believe singing upbeat songs with catchy beats and melodies can make people happy, encouraging them to sing along or dance.

× Yeah, I quite enjoy singing. I I think singing can help people express some emotions and cannot be articulate sometimes.

✓ Yeah, I quite enjoy singing. I think singing can help people express some emotions that cannot be articulated sometimes.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject for 'cannot be articulate sometimes'. Adding 'that' and changing 'articulate' to 'articulated' clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.

× Yes, I've learned about how to do beats and sing with melodies in Junior School.

✓ Yes, I learned how to do beats and sing with melodies in Junior School.

The phrase 'I've learned about how to do beats' is awkward; 'learned how to do beats' is more natural. Also, 'I've learned' (present perfect) is less appropriate than simple past 'I learned' because the action happened at a specific time in the past (Junior School).

× Well it's little bit petty to say it actually, but I want to sing for my ex-boyfriend because I want him to know, you know those agony feelings and I had because of the break up.

✓ Well, it's a little bit petty to say it actually, but I want to sing for my ex-boyfriend because I want him to know, you know, those agony feelings I had because of the breakup.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before 'little bit'. Also, 'and I had' is awkward; removing 'and' improves clarity. 'Break up' should be one word 'breakup' as a noun. Adding commas improves readability.