Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct verb forms and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating 'relieving', say 'I feel relaxed and it helps me relieve stress.' Also, keep your answer concise and natural by combining ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax and relieve stress. Additionally, I find it rewarding when people respond positively to my songs.

提案: Focus on clear sentence structure and correct grammar. Avoid confusing pronouns and phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, say 'I haven't taken formal singing lessons, but I have learned some songs for fun. Recently, I learned to sing "Titanium" because I enjoy its melody and powerful lyrics.'

例: I haven't taken formal singing lessons, but I have learned some songs just for fun. For instance, I recently learned to sing "Titanium" because I really enjoy its melody and powerful lyrics. For me, singing is more about enjoying the music than being perfect.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say 'Although I usually sing for myself, if I had the chance, I would love to sing for artists I admire to show my support and respect for their work.'

例: Although I usually sing just for myself, if I had the chance, I would love to sing for the artists I admire to show my support and respect for their work.

提案: Avoid unclear phrases like 'connected to the other fence'. Use precise vocabulary and linking words. For example, say 'I feel more relaxed and connected to others, which makes me happy.'

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it helps people express their emotions and connect with others. Personally, when I listen to my favourite songs, I feel more relaxed and connected to others, which makes me very happy.

× When I am singing, I relieving.

✓ When I am singing, I am relieving.

The sentence is missing the auxiliary verb 'am' before the present participle 'relieving'. In English, the present continuous tense requires the verb 'to be' followed by the '-ing' form of the main verb. Therefore, 'I am relieving' is correct.

× I'm relieving my stress away.

✓ I'm relieving my stress.

The phrase 'relieving my stress away' is incorrect because 'relieve' does not require the preposition 'away'. The verb 'relieve' already implies removal or reduction, so adding 'away' is redundant and ungrammatical.

× Moreover, I've sometimes find it rewarding when people respond positively to my songs.

✓ Moreover, I sometimes find it rewarding when people respond positively to my songs.

The auxiliary verb 'have' is incorrectly used with 'find' in the present simple tense. The correct form is 'I sometimes find' without 'have'. 'I've sometimes find' is ungrammatical.

× Learned how to sing.

✓ I have learned how to sing.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a subject. Adding 'I have' makes it a complete sentence in the present perfect tense, which is appropriate for talking about past experiences.

× They haven't taken any former singing lessons, but I have learned few singing songs just for fun.

✓ I haven't taken any formal singing lessons, but I have learned a few songs just for fun.

The pronoun 'They' is incorrect because the subject is the speaker. Also, 'former' should be 'formal' to mean official lessons. 'Few' should be preceded by 'a' to indicate some songs. 'Singing songs' is redundant; 'songs' suffices.

× For example, I recently learned to sing Titanium because I really enjoyed the melody and the power pole lyrics.

✓ For example, I recently learned to sing 'Titanium' because I really enjoyed the melody and the powerful lyrics.

The phrase 'power pole lyrics' is incorrect. It should be 'powerful lyrics' to describe the strength of the lyrics. Also, song titles should be in quotes.

× For me sing, it's more of enjoying the music better than focusing on the perfect.

✓ For me, singing is more about enjoying the music than focusing on perfection.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and awkward. 'For me sing' is incorrect; it should be 'For me, singing'. 'More of enjoying the music better' is redundant and incorrect; 'more about enjoying the music' is correct. 'Focusing on the perfect' should be 'focusing on perfection'.

× Since I'm not a professional singer, I usually sing just for myself, but if I had a chance, I would love to sing for the artists that I admire as the showing my support and respect for their work.

✓ Since I'm not a professional singer, I usually sing just for myself, but if I had a chance, I would love to sing for the artists that I admire to show my support and respect for their work.

The phrase 'as the showing' is incorrect. It should be 'to show' to express purpose. Also, 'that I admire' correctly refers to the artists.

× Personally, when I listen to my favorite songs, I also feel more relaxed and connected to the other fence, which makes me really happy.

✓ Personally, when I listen to my favorite songs, I also feel more relaxed and connected to others, which makes me really happy.

The phrase 'connected to the other fence' is incorrect and nonsensical. It should be 'connected to others' to express connection with other people.