Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons using proper vocabulary and sentence structure. Avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because music is an essential part of my life. Singing makes me feel happy and relaxed, even when I don't have a specific reason. It helps me express my emotions naturally. That's why I love singing a lot.

提案: Your answer has some grammar and clarity issues. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and avoid filler words like 'like' and 'so'.

例: Yes, I have learned how to sing. When I was in elementary school, I attended a musical program where we had choir classes. Everyone was encouraged to join, and I learned various singing techniques there.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be clearer and more structured. Start with a direct response, then add specific details with linking words. Also, correct grammar mistakes and avoid repetition.

例: Honestly, I prefer to sing for myself because I am not confident singing in front of others. I usually sing different kinds of songs depending on my mood, whether I'm happy or feeling down. Singing privately helps me relax and express my feelings.

提案: Your answer shows your opinion but lacks clarity and proper sentence structure. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific examples using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid vague phrases and unclear references.

例: Yes, I definitely think singing can bring happiness to people. For example, I have seen videos of indigenous kids from Torres Strait participating in international singing competitions. Their beautiful voices are so uplifting that they make me feel happy as well.

× Yes, I love seeing a lot because music is like essential thing in my life and singing the sound that I love or just.

✓ Yes, I love singing a lot because music is an essential thing in my life and singing is the sound that I love.

The student incorrectly used 'seeing' instead of 'singing'. The verb 'love' should be followed by the gerund form of the verb, which is 'singing' here. Also, 'essential thing' needs an article 'an' before it. The phrase 'singing the sound that I love or just' is unclear and was corrected to 'singing is the sound that I love' for clarity.

× Yes, I love seeing a lot because music is like essential thing in my life and singing the sound that I love or just.

✓ Yes, I love singing a lot because music is an essential thing in my life and singing is the sound that I love.

The phrase 'essential thing' requires the indefinite article 'an' before it because 'essential' starts with a vowel sound. Omitting the article is a common error.

× Oh, actually, yes, I do. I I was in a musical elementary school and we have like chords class and everyone is. Ask to take the cords so. Yeah, we I learned how to sing.

✓ Oh, actually, yes, I do. I was in a musical elementary school and we had a chords class and everyone was asked to take the chords. So, yeah, I learned how to sing.

The student incorrectly used present tense 'have' and 'is' instead of past tense 'had' and 'was' to match the past context. Also, 'Ask' should be 'asked' to form the passive voice correctly. 'Cords' should be 'chords' (spelling). The sentence structure was improved for clarity.

× Oh, actually, yes, I do. I I was in a musical elementary school and we have like chords class and everyone is. Ask to take the cords so. Yeah, we I learned how to sing.

✓ Oh, actually, yes, I do. I was in a musical elementary school and we had a chords class and everyone was asked to take the chords. So, yeah, I learned how to sing.

The events described happened in the past, so verbs should be in past tense: 'have' to 'had', 'is' to 'was', and 'ask' to 'asked' (passive voice). This maintains tense consistency.

× Who do you want to sing for?

✓ Who do you want to sing to?

The verb 'sing' is typically followed by the preposition 'to' when indicating the audience. Using 'for' is less common and can be incorrect in this context.

× To be honest, I'm not really confident to sing in front of people, so mostly I only sing for myself when I'm happy or not happy.

✓ To be honest, I'm not really confident singing in front of people, so mostly I only sing to myself when I'm happy or not happy.

The phrase 'confident to sing' is incorrect; it should be 'confident singing' (gerund form). Also, 'sing for myself' is better expressed as 'sing to myself' when referring to singing alone. This improves naturalness and correctness.

× Sing a different kinds of song, but mostly just to myself.

✓ I sing different kinds of songs, but mostly just to myself.

The phrase 'a different kinds of song' mixes singular and plural incorrectly. 'Kinds' is plural, so 'a' should be removed and 'song' should be pluralized to 'songs'. Also, the sentence was made complete by adding 'I' at the beginning.

× I saw so many video that Tornese indigenous kids there. Participating like international singing? Computation and their voices so heavenly that just make me feel happy.

✓ I saw so many videos of Tornese indigenous kids participating in an international singing competition, and their voices were so heavenly that they just made me feel happy.

'Video' should be plural 'videos'. The preposition 'of' is needed after 'videos' to indicate what the videos are about. 'Participating like' should be 'participating in'. 'Computation' is a misspelling of 'competition'. The sentence was restructured for clarity and correct verb tense.