Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ваш ответ неестественен и содержит противоречия. Постарайтесь давать чёткий и логичный ответ, избегая избыточности и путаницы. Используйте связующие слова для плавного перехода между идеями.

例: I don't like eating chocolate very much because although it tastes good and can improve mood, I try to avoid sweets to stay healthy.

提案: Ответ содержит много повторов и нечетких выражений. Старайтесь использовать более точные слова и избегать избыточности. Добавьте связующие слова для логичности.

例: I eat chocolate regularly, especially during celebrations like birthdays, because it is a popular treat in my country with many delicious cakes.

提案: Ответ неясен и содержит лишние детали, не относящиеся к вопросу. Сосредоточьтесь на прямом ответе и используйте связующие слова для ясности.

例: When I was a kid, I didn't eat much chocolate because I wasn't very interested in sweets.

提案: Ответ содержит грамматические ошибки и повторения. Используйте более точные выражения и стройте предложения логично с помощью связующих слов.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because many people enjoy its taste, and it is commonly given as a gift during celebrations like birthdays.

提案: Ответ неясен и содержит ошибки. Старайтесь отвечать прямо на вопрос, используя подходящую лексику и избегая лишних слов.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is fruit-flavored chocolate because it tastes fresh and improves my mood.

提案: Ответ слишком короткий и неструктурированный. Давайте более развёрнутые ответы с логическими связками и конкретными причинами.

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it is popular and enjoyed by many people on special occasions.

× So I don't like eating chocolate because it's very delicious and I don't like delicious meals.

✓ So I don't like eating chocolate because it's very sweet and I don't like sweet foods.

The adjective 'delicious' is used to express a positive taste, but saying 'I don't like delicious meals' is contradictory. Using 'sweet' better describes chocolate's taste and aligns with the negative preference expressed.

× And on the one hand eating chocolate is useful because it can raise your mood and you can easily walk somewhere with a good mood.

✓ On the one hand, eating chocolate is useful because it can raise your mood and help you walk somewhere feeling good.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and often incorrect in formal speech. Also, the sentence structure is improved by adding a comma after 'On the one hand' and rephrasing for clarity.

× On the other hand it's very useless and in my opinion it over eating chocolate is.

✓ On the other hand, in my opinion, overeating chocolate is very harmful.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Over eating chocolate is' is incorrect; 'overeating chocolate' as a noun phrase is correct. Also, 'useless' is not appropriate here; 'harmful' fits better.

× So I eat chocolates regularly and for example in birthdays on in such kind of parties I try to eat such kind of delicious meals, especially chocolate.

✓ So I eat chocolate regularly, for example on birthdays or at such parties I try to eat delicious foods, especially chocolate.

'Chocolates' is plural but usually 'chocolate' as a mass noun is used. 'In birthdays on in such kind of parties' is incorrect preposition usage and word order; corrected to 'on birthdays or at such parties'.

× And in my opinion, in my country it's very popular type of meal and there are so many interesting Pesoff cakes, piece of cakes and.

✓ And in my opinion, in my country it's a very popular type of food and there are many interesting pastries and pieces of cake.

'Type of meal' is better as 'type of food' here. 'Pesoff cakes' seems to be a typo or mishearing; corrected to 'pastries'. 'Piece of cakes' should be 'pieces of cake'.

× So when I was a kid, I didn't used to eat such kind of delicious meals as I said, and because I don't have such kind of interest for chocolates.

✓ So when I was a kid, I didn't use to eat such kinds of delicious foods as I said, because I didn't have much interest in chocolates.

'Didn't used to' is incorrect; the correct form is 'didn't use to'. Also, 'such kind of' should be 'such kinds of' or 'such kind of' but better as 'such kinds of'. 'Interest for' should be 'interest in'.

× But on the other hand, if you take tasty food like meats or such kind of limited eats, it's very meaningful and not harmful.

✓ But on the other hand, if you eat tasty food like meat or such limited foods, it's very beneficial and not harmful.

'Take' is not the correct verb here; 'eat' fits better. 'Meats' is usually uncountable as 'meat'. 'Such kind of limited eats' is awkward; 'such limited foods' is better. 'Meaningful' is not appropriate; 'beneficial' fits better.

× In my opinion it's very popular because someone is like eating chocolate and it's often gives as a gift like in birthdays who people who have birthdays they can easily get a chocolate as a gift and in birthdays when someone is someone has a party they can easily.

✓ In my opinion, it's very popular because many people like eating chocolate, and it's often given as a gift on birthdays. People who have birthdays can easily receive chocolate as a gift, and at birthday parties, chocolate is common.

The original sentence is fragmented and ungrammatical. 'Someone is like eating chocolate' is incorrect; 'many people like eating chocolate' is correct. 'It's often gives' should be 'it's often given'. The sentence is restructured for clarity.

× My favorite type of chocolate is cake because I like eating cake especially which is fruitable and useful for themselves because in it cleans my mood and I can easily eat chocolate until the end.

✓ My favorite type of chocolate is cake because I like eating cake, especially when it has fruit and is good for health, because it improves my mood and I can easily finish eating the chocolate.

'Fruitable' is not a correct word; 'when it has fruit' is better. 'Useful for themselves' is unclear; 'good for health' is clearer. 'In it cleans my mood' is incorrect; 'it improves my mood' is correct.

× Sorry I eat I said cake and.

✓ Sorry, I said cake.

The original sentence is incomplete and confusing. Simplifying to 'Sorry, I said cake.' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× As I think yes, why not? There is nothing unusual and they can get they can give it as a gift and in my point from my point of view.

✓ I think yes, why not? There is nothing unusual about it, and they can give it as a gift from my point of view.

'As I think' is incorrect; 'I think' is correct. 'They can get they can give' is repetitive; simplified to 'they can give'. 'In my point from my point of view' is redundant; 'from my point of view' suffices.