Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it is a bit long and could be more concise. Try to avoid redundancy and use linking words to improve coherence. For example, you can say: "No, I don't like chocolate because it's too sweet for me, and since I'm maintaining a healthy diet, I prefer savory snacks instead."

例: No, I don't like chocolate because it's too sweet for me, and since I'm maintaining a healthy diet, I prefer savory snacks instead.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some hesitations and unclear phrases like "in modern relation." Try to be more fluent and precise. Also, avoid repeating the question. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I eat chocolate only occasionally, usually on special occasions like birthdays or holidays, because I try to maintain a healthy diet and avoid too much sugar. Therefore, I see chocolate as a special treat rather than an everyday snack.

提案: Your answer is detailed and includes personal memories, which is good. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use past tense consistently and correct sentence structures.

例: Yes, I absolutely loved eating chocolate as a child. I could eat it whenever I had the chance because it was my favorite treat. I remember saving my pocket money to buy chocolate bars and sharing them with my friends during school breaks, which made those moments very special.

提案: Your answer addresses cultural significance but has some hesitations and incomplete ideas. Avoid filler words like "UH" and clarify your points. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste and cultural significance. For example, it is often given as a gift during celebrations like Valentine's Day and Easter, which helps maintain its popularity.

提案: Your answer does not address the question about your favorite flavor and contains unclear and irrelevant information. Make sure to answer the question directly with a topic sentence and supporting details.

例: My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate because it has a rich, slightly bitter taste that I enjoy. I also like it because it is less sweet and feels healthier compared to milk chocolate.

提案: Your answer is relevant but has some awkward phrasing like "Appreciate chocolate is appreciated." Try to use clearer and more natural expressions. Also, avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes an excellent gift because it comes in many styles and flavors, allowing you to choose something that suits your loved ones' preferences. This makes the gift feel personal and thoughtful.

× No, I don't like eating chocolate because I find it too sweet for my taste and additionally I'm trying to maintain my healthy diet and chocolate doesn't fit into it so I generally prefer savory snacks over sweet ones.

✓ No, I don't like eating chocolate because I find it too sweet for my taste. Additionally, I'm trying to maintain a healthy diet, and chocolate doesn't fit into it, so I generally prefer savory snacks over sweet ones.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence with multiple ideas joined improperly by 'and' and 'so'. Breaking it into shorter sentences and using commas improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I consume chocolate only occasionally, usually in special occasions such as birthdays or holidays.

✓ I consume chocolate only occasionally, usually on special occasions such as birthdays or holidays.

The correct preposition to use with 'special occasions' is 'on', not 'in'. Using 'on' properly indicates specific days or events.

× That when you were a kid?

✓ Did you often eat chocolate when you were a kid?

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. It seems to be a fragment or misheard question. The corrected sentence matches the examiner's question and is grammatically correct.

× When I was a child it I could eat whenever I had a chance because it was my favorite treat.

✓ When I was a child, I could eat chocolate whenever I had a chance because it was my favorite treat.

The original sentence has an extra 'it' and lacks a comma after the introductory clause. Removing the extra word and adding the comma improves clarity and correctness.

× which make those moments even more special.

✓ which made those moments even more special.

The relative clause refers to past events, so the verb should be in past tense 'made' to agree with the past context.

× Chocolate's popularity is also due to its cultural significance and and association with UH celebrations and occasions such as Valentine's Day and Easter, and people often give chocolate as a gift during the celebrations, which has maintained its public.

✓ Chocolate's popularity is also due to its cultural significance and association with celebrations and occasions such as Valentine's Day and Easter. People often give chocolate as a gift during these celebrations, which has maintained its popularity.

The original sentence has repeated 'and', an unclear 'UH', and awkward phrasing. Removing the duplicate, clarifying 'celebrations', and splitting into two sentences improves readability and correctness.

× Chocolate is popular worldwide not only because of its delicious taste, but on 72 its cultural significance. For example, it is commonly given as a gift during special occasions like Valentine's Day and Easter, which helps maintain its popularity. In addition, manageable enjoy chocolate because as of comforting treat make.

✓ Chocolate is popular worldwide not only because of its delicious taste but also because of its cultural significance. For example, it is commonly given as a gift during special occasions like Valentine's Day and Easter, which helps maintain its popularity. In addition, many people enjoy chocolate because it is a comforting treat.

The original sentences contain unclear phrases like 'on 72' and 'manageable enjoy chocolate because as of comforting treat make'. These were corrected to clear, grammatically correct sentences conveying the intended meaning.

× Appreciate chocolate is appreciated and can make a gift feel more personal and thoughtful.

✓ Chocolate is appreciated and can make a gift feel more personal and thoughtful.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'Appreciate chocolate' which is ungrammatical. Removing 'Appreciate' corrects the sentence.