Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more clear and structured. Start with a direct answer, then explain why you like chocolate with specific reasons. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and unclear phrases such as 'most favorite chore'.

例: Yes, I really like eating chocolate because it makes me feel happy. For example, when friends come from abroad, they often bring chocolates as gifts. My favorite chocolates are Kit Kat and Snickers because they taste delicious and are easy to share.

提案: Answer directly and clearly about frequency. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition. For example, explain when and why you eat chocolate with clear sentences.

例: I usually eat chocolate when I am studying because it helps me stay focused. I often keep some chocolates in my bag and eat them during breaks at college or academy.

提案: Try to use past tense correctly and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate when I was a kid. My mother used to buy chocolates for me from the bazaar, and I usually took them to school instead of other snacks because I loved chocolate very much.

提案: Give a clear and direct answer with specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid filler words like 'uh'.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it brings happiness to people. For example, people often give chocolates as gifts to show love and friendship, which makes it a symbol of joy and celebration.

提案: Be clear and concise. Use correct vocabulary and avoid repetition. Explain your preference with specific reasons.

例: My favorite chocolate is Kit Kat because it does not contain sugar. I prefer chocolates without sugar as they are healthier and taste better to me.

提案: Answer directly and use linking words to make your answer coherent. Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity.

例: Yes, I think giving chocolates as gifts is a good idea because it brings happiness to others. Also, offering chocolates can help build friendships and show kindness.

× when someone coming from abroad, they bring a chocolate because they provide happiness to us

✓ when someone comes from abroad, they bring chocolate because it provides happiness to us

The verb 'coming' should be in the simple present tense 'comes' to agree with the subject 'someone' and to fit the present habitual action. Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is uncountable here, and 'they provide' should be 'it provides' to agree with singular 'chocolate'.

× So I always eat this one in chocolates

✓ So I always eat this kind of chocolate

The phrase 'this one in chocolates' is incorrect. 'Chocolate' is uncountable, so 'chocolates' is inappropriate here. 'This kind of chocolate' correctly refers to a type of chocolate.

× I like Kit Kat and sneakers

✓ I like Kit Kat and Snickers

The brand name 'Snickers' was misspelled as 'sneakers'. Also, brand names are proper nouns and should be capitalized correctly.

× So uh, when someone coming from abroad, they bring a chocolate because they provide happiness to us

✓ So uh, when someone comes from abroad, they bring chocolate because it provides happiness to us

The pronoun 'they' is used for 'someone' which is singular; it should be 'he or she' or rephrased to avoid confusion. Here, 'they' is acceptable as a singular they, but the verb agreement must be singular. Also, 'they provide' should be 'it provides' referring to 'chocolate'.

× I often use chocolates when I I have studying so I usually eat this moment and sometime I take chocolates

✓ I often eat chocolates when I am studying, so I usually eat them at that moment and sometimes I take chocolates

The phrase 'have studying' is incorrect; it should be 'am studying' to indicate the present continuous tense. 'Use chocolates' is incorrect; 'eat chocolates' is appropriate. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. Also, 'this moment' is vague; 'at that moment' is clearer.

× I put chocolates in my bag. I take in my college level so when sometime I have going Academy so this moment I take a chocolates

✓ I put chocolates in my bag. I take them to my college, so sometimes when I go to the academy, I take chocolates at that time

The preposition 'in' is correct for 'put chocolates in my bag', but 'take in my college level' is incorrect; it should be 'take them to my college'. 'Have going Academy' is incorrect; it should be 'go to the academy'. 'This moment' is vague; 'at that time' is better.

× Yes, I usually eat chocolate when I was a kid my mother bring the chocolate for me in the bazaar

✓ Yes, I usually ate chocolate when I was a kid. My mother brought chocolate for me at the bazaar

The verb tense should be consistent in the past tense when talking about past habits. 'Usually eat' should be 'usually ate'. 'Bring' should be 'brought'. 'In the bazaar' should be 'at the bazaar'.

× So in daily school routine I take a chocolate because I'm a huge fan of a chocolate

✓ So in my daily school routine, I take chocolate because I'm a huge fan of chocolate

The phrase 'in daily school routine' needs a possessive pronoun 'my'. 'Take a chocolate' is awkward; 'take chocolate' is better as chocolate is uncountable here. 'A huge fan of a chocolate' should be 'a huge fan of chocolate'.

× I'm not eating like snacks or something. I always bring take chocolates when I was child

✓ I didn't eat snacks or anything like that. I always brought chocolates when I was a child

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'I'm not eating' should be 'I didn't eat' to match past context. 'Bring take' is incorrect; 'brought' is the past tense of 'bring'. 'When I was child' needs the article 'a' before 'child'.

× Uh, there are many benefits that chocolate is, uh, very popular around the world

✓ Uh, there are many reasons why chocolate is very popular around the world

The phrase 'there are many benefits that chocolate is' is incorrect. 'Benefits' do not connect directly to 'chocolate is popular'. 'Reasons why chocolate is popular' is the correct structure.

× then we gift, uh, then we, uh, give a chocolates with others

✓ then we gift, uh, then we, uh, give chocolates to others

'Give a chocolates' is incorrect; 'chocolates' is plural and does not need 'a'. The preposition 'with' should be 'to' when giving something to someone.

× So I think it a sign of happiness and it is very popular in the world

✓ So I think it is a sign of happiness and it is very popular in the world

The verb 'is' is missing after 'think it'. The correct phrase is 'I think it is a sign'.

× There are many chocolates around the world like Lexi chocolate, white chocolate sneaker chocolate, hard chocolate

✓ There are many types of chocolate around the world like milk chocolate, white chocolate, Snickers chocolate, hard chocolate

'Chocolates' is plural but used incorrectly here; 'types of chocolate' is better. 'Lexi' is likely a misspelling of 'milk'. 'Sneaker chocolate' should be 'Snickers chocolate'.

× But my favorite chocolate is Kit Kat chocolate because in this, uh, chocolate, there is a no sugar

✓ But my favorite chocolate is Kit Kat chocolate because in this chocolate, there is no sugar

The phrase 'there is a no sugar' is incorrect; 'a' should be removed as 'no sugar' is uncountable.

× So I usually like this one chocolate which one they have a no sugar

✓ So I usually like this chocolate which has no sugar

'Which one they have a no sugar' is incorrect. It should be 'which has no sugar' to correctly describe the chocolate.

× Yes, I think it uh, it is uh, good to use chocolates with the others because it bring happiness when you gift it to other

✓ Yes, I think it is good to give chocolates to others because it brings happiness when you gift them to others

'Use chocolates with the others' is awkward; 'give chocolates to others' is better. 'Bring' should be 'brings' to agree with singular subject 'it'. 'Gift it to other' should be 'gift them to others'.

× Uh, and sometime when we're making a friend, we can firstly, we can give the chocolates with others, uh, to making a good friends

✓ Uh, and sometimes when we're making friends, we can first give chocolates to others to make good friends

'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Give the chocolates with others' should be 'give chocolates to others'. 'To making a good friends' should be 'to make good friends'.

× So it is a good sign to use chocolate as a gift to others

✓ So it is a good idea to use chocolate as a gift for others

'Good sign' is not appropriate here; 'good idea' fits better. Also, 'gift to others' is better as 'gift for others'.