Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and be more precise with your vocabulary. Also, clarify your ideas to make your answer more coherent and natural. For example, explain what you mean by 'font of some memory' and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: I love eating chocolate because it reminds me of my childhood. When I was young, we weren't allowed to eat much chocolate, so it became a special treat for me. Those memories make chocolate very meaningful to me.

提案: Avoid filler words and try to give a clear, direct answer first, then add supporting details with linking words to improve coherence.

例: I don't eat chocolate very often nowadays. However, when I was younger, I used to eat it frequently. As I've grown up, I enjoy chocolate less often but still like it occasionally.

提案: Avoid irrelevant or confusing details like 'my mother used to bathe me also' which do not relate to the question. Use clear sentences and avoid repetition and filler words.

例: Yes, I ate a lot of chocolate as a child. Whenever I had some money, I would quickly buy chocolate from the shop because I really loved it.

提案: Try to organize your ideas logically and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your points and explain your reasons clearly.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes sweet and brings people joy. Moreover, both children and adults enjoy it, and many associate it with happy memories.

提案: Avoid filler words and repetition. Use clear sentences and linking words to explain your preferences and changes over time.

例: My favorite chocolate flavors are mint and milk chocolate, especially Lindt brand. Recently, I've also started to enjoy dark chocolate, which I didn't like when I was younger.

提案: Avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Use precise language to explain why chocolate makes a good gift and support your opinion with reasons.

例: Yes, chocolate is a great gift because it is sweet and appreciated by many people. Giving chocolate can strengthen relationships by showing care and thoughtfulness.

× I love eating chocolates, umm, because chocolate is the font of some memory from childhood.

✓ I love eating chocolate, umm, because chocolate is the source of some memories from childhood.

The word 'chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' when referring to the substance in general. Also, 'font' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'source'. 'Memory' should be plural 'memories' because it refers to multiple recollections.

× We used to have sweets that comes from ₹1.

✓ We used to have sweets that come from ₹1.

The verb 'comes' should be 'come' to agree with the plural subject 'sweets'.

× Not often till now.

✓ Not often until now.

The phrase 'till now' is informal; 'until now' is more appropriate. Also, the sentence is incomplete and should be connected to a fuller sentence for clarity.

× Umm back then I used to have a lot of chocolates but now as I grew up, I am fond of chocolate but I don't consume that much.

✓ Umm back then I used to have a lot of chocolates but now as I have grown up, I am fond of chocolate but I don't consume that much.

The phrase 'as I grew up' should be 'as I have grown up' to correctly indicate the change from past to present.

× Yes, I definitely do eat a lot of chocolate in my childhood days, uh, my mother used to bathe me also because I am a very, uh, chocolatey person.

✓ Yes, I definitely ate a lot of chocolate in my childhood days, uh, my mother used to bathe me also because I was a very, uh, chocolatey person.

The action happened in the past, so 'do eat' should be 'ate' and 'am' should be 'was' to maintain past tense consistency.

× You know, I, I, if somebody give me money, then I rush to the shop to have chocolate.

✓ You know, I, I, if somebody gives me money, then I rush to the shop to have chocolate.

The verb 'give' should be 'gives' to agree with the singular subject 'somebody'.

× Chocolate, uh, is popular in the world because it's sweet, it connects the heart.

✓ Chocolate, uh, is popular around the world because it's sweet, it connects the heart.

The correct preposition to express global popularity is 'around the world' rather than 'in the world'.

× And also it's very popular not in uh, child, but also in adults, because chocolate is a core memory of every human being.

✓ And also it's very popular not only in children, but also in adults, because chocolate is a core memory of every human being.

The word 'child' should be plural 'children' to match the context, and 'not in' should be 'not only in' for correct expression.

× Back then I didn't used to like dark chocolate but now since I grew up I love enjoying.

✓ Back then I didn't use to like dark chocolate but now since I have grown up I love enjoying it.

The phrase 'didn't used to' should be 'didn't use to'. Also, 'since I grew up' should be 'since I have grown up' to indicate the present relevance. The sentence also needs 'it' after 'enjoying' for completeness.

× Yes, definitely chocolate is a great gift. I great gift ideas to somebody uh it.

✓ Yes, definitely chocolate is a great gift. It is a great gift idea for somebody.

The sentence has pronoun confusion and incomplete structure. 'I great gift ideas to somebody uh it' is incorrect; it should be 'It is a great gift idea for somebody'.

× Makes your relationship sweet and very fruitful I guess.

✓ It makes your relationship sweet and very fruitful, I guess.

The sentence is missing the subject 'It' and a comma before 'I guess' for clarity and correctness.