Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to give a clear and direct answer first, then explain your reasons with simple and correct sentences. Avoid unnecessary fillers and unclear phrases. Use linking words like 'because' to connect your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate, but only occasionally because it contains a lot of sugar and calories. I prefer to eat it on special occasions rather than every day.

提案: Answer directly and use linking words to explain your reasons clearly. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use simple vocabulary to express your ideas effectively.

例: I eat chocolate only on special occasions because it is unhealthy due to high sugar and calorie content. However, some of my friends eat it every day.

提案: Use correct grammar and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details. Avoid confusing or incomplete sentences. Use linking words like 'and' or 'but' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I used to eat chocolate often when I was a kid. I liked many kinds of chocolates and bought them almost every day. Sometimes, shopkeepers would tell me I was buying too much, but some of my friends ate even more.

提案: Give a clear reason why chocolate is popular. Use simple and correct sentences with linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid unclear or incomplete sentences.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is a sweet treat that many people enjoy. It is also a common gift that can make people happy and excited.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Use linking words to connect your ideas. Avoid fillers and unclear phrases. Provide specific details about your favourite flavour.

例: My favourite chocolate flavour is strawberry. I especially enjoy it when I have coffee with my friends at a cafe, as the creamy chocolate makes me feel relaxed.

提案: Give a clear opinion and explain why. Use simple and correct sentences with linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid unclear or contradictory statements.

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a good gift because many people like it. It shows love and can make the receiver happy, especially on birthdays or special occasions.

× If I like it, I like to well, to eat chocolates.

✓ If I like it, I like to, well, eat chocolates.

The modal verb 'like to' should be followed directly by the base verb without extra prepositions or fillers. Removing 'to' before 'eat' corrects the sentence structure.

× I eat only a specific occasions or time you can say, but most of the time I do not like to prefer to eat it.

✓ I eat only on specific occasions or times, you can say, but most of the time I do not prefer to eat it.

The preposition 'on' is required before 'specific occasions or times' to indicate when the action happens. Also, 'do not like to prefer' is redundant; 'do not prefer' is sufficient.

× I'm not into it because it's a high in fiber and gallery.

✓ I'm not into it because it's high in fiber and calories.

The article 'a' is unnecessary before 'high' as 'high' is an adjective here. Also, 'gallery' is incorrect; the intended word is likely 'calories'.

× it's not healthy for health, it's a contain a lot of sugars and calories, so I prefer to eat in a moderation sound like on the special occasions.

✓ it's not healthy for health, it contains a lot of sugars and calories, so I prefer to eat in moderation, like on special occasions.

'Contain' should be 'contains' to agree with singular subject. 'In a moderation' should be 'in moderation' without 'a'. 'Sound like' is incorrect here and should be omitted or replaced with 'like'.

× But a part of me my friend would like to take every day.

✓ But some of my friends would like to eat it every day.

'A part of me my friend' is incorrect pronoun usage; it should be 'some of my friends' to indicate a portion of friends.

× Yes, I were really into it to have chocolates and many variety of chocolates I would love to buy daily in my day.

✓ Yes, I was really into having chocolates and many varieties of chocolates; I would love to buy them daily in my day.

'Were' is incorrect for first person singular; 'was' is correct. 'Many variety' should be 'many varieties' to match plural form.

× I would love to go to shopper shopping and shopkeepers or keep asking me I'm having chocolate detail too much but a part of my friend were taking more than me.

✓ I would love to go shopping and shopkeepers would keep asking me if I was having chocolate daily too much, but some of my friends were taking more than me.

'Go to shopper shopping' is incorrect; it should be 'go shopping'. Also, 'shopkeepers or keep asking me' is corrected to 'shopkeepers would keep asking me'. 'A part of my friend' should be 'some of my friends'.

× Chocolate is one of the precious things as well, which you can give as a, which you give the as a gift to someone for pleasures or for enjoyment.

✓ Chocolate is one of the precious things which you can give as a gift to someone for pleasure or enjoyment.

Redundant and incorrect pronouns 'which you can give as a, which you give the as a' are removed for clarity. 'Pleasures' should be singular 'pleasure'.

× So it makes someone enjoy and make excited someone is a really good thing as a gift if you prefer to give it but it's somehow it's not.

✓ So it makes someone enjoy and excites someone; it is a really good gift if you prefer to give it, but somehow it's not always suitable.

The sentence structure is incorrect; 'make excited someone' should be 'excites someone'. Added punctuation and rephrased for clarity.

× I myself like to have a strawberry flavor or something, a chocolate flavor as well.

✓ I myself like to have a strawberry flavor or something like a chocolate flavor as well.

Added 'like' to clarify comparison between flavors.

× I take the coffee with a piece of cake.

✓ I have coffee with a piece of cake.

'Take the coffee' is unnatural; 'have coffee' is the correct expression.

× It's, uh, make me very relaxed and specially creamy chocolate.

✓ It makes me very relaxed, especially creamy chocolate.

'Make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'it'. 'Specially' should be 'especially'.

× Yes, I believe it's a useful to provide or send the gifts as a chocolates.

✓ Yes, I believe it's useful to provide or send gifts as chocolates.

The article 'a' before 'useful' is incorrect; 'useful' is an adjective and does not need 'a'. Also, 'the gifts' should be 'gifts'.

× People do like it and it's a sign of love as well. You can say it's a make them excitement but and somehow and maybe it's you can give on the birthday occasionally like this, but somehow it's not useless.

✓ People do like it and it's a sign of love as well. You can say it makes them excited, and maybe you can give it on birthdays occasionally like this, but somehow it's not useless.

'It's a make them excitement' is incorrect; corrected to 'it makes them excited'. 'It's you can give' corrected to 'you can give it'. 'Birthday' pluralized to 'birthdays'.