Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct verb forms and improve sentence structure for clarity. Also, avoid redundancy by combining ideas more smoothly. For example, say "I love eating chocolate because it makes me happy and helps me relieve stress. However, I have recently reduced my intake from daily to once a week for health reasons."

例: I love eating chocolate because it makes me happy and helps me relieve stress. However, I have recently reduced my intake from daily to once a week for health reasons.

提案: Complete your sentences and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, "I used to eat chocolate almost every day, but recently I have cut down to once a week because chocolate is high in calories, and I am trying to lose weight."

例: I used to eat chocolate almost every day, but recently I have cut down to once a week because chocolate is high in calories, and I am trying to lose weight.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve grammar. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, "Yes, I loved eating chocolate as a kid. My mom usually bought me chocolate when I went to school, but she limited me from eating it at night. However, I often snacked on chocolate too much."

例: Yes, I loved eating chocolate as a kid. My mom usually bought me chocolate when I went to school, but she limited me from eating it at night. However, I often snacked on chocolate too much.

提案: Complete your thoughts and avoid vague phrases. Use linking words to explain reasons clearly. For example, "I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its rich, sweet taste and smooth, creamy texture. Moreover, there are many varieties of chocolate to suit different preferences."

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its rich, sweet taste and smooth, creamy texture. Moreover, there are many varieties of chocolate to suit different preferences.

提案: Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "My favourite flavour is milk chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. I also enjoy chocolates with nuts, such as hazelnut chocolate."

例: My favourite flavour is milk chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. I also enjoy chocolates with nuts, such as hazelnut chocolate.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words to explain your opinion. For example, "Yes, I think giving chocolate as a gift is a sweet gesture. Chocolate has a pleasant taste and texture, and giving it as a gift is a common tradition in many Asian cultures."

例: Yes, I think giving chocolate as a gift is a sweet gesture. Chocolate has a pleasant taste and texture, and giving it as a gift is a common tradition in many Asian cultures.

× I do love eat chocolate, eating chocolate gave me happiness and whenever I feel stressed I eat chocolate.

✓ I do love eating chocolate; eating chocolate gives me happiness and whenever I feel stressed, I eat chocolate.

The verb 'love' should be followed by the gerund form 'eating' instead of the base form 'eat'. Also, 'gave' should be in present tense 'gives' to match the present context, and commas are added for clarity.

× But currently I'm cut down eating chocolate from every day to once a week for consent of my health.

✓ But currently I'm cutting down eating chocolate from every day to once a week for the sake of my health.

The phrase 'I'm cut down' is incorrect; the present continuous form 'I'm cutting down' is appropriate here. Also, 'for consent of my health' is incorrect; it should be 'for the sake of my health' to express purpose.

× I used to eat chocolate almost every day in the past but recently I tried to cut it down from everyday to once a week as as we all know chocolates have a very high gallery.

✓ I used to eat chocolate almost every day in the past, but recently I tried to cut it down from every day to once a week as we all know chocolates have very high calories.

The word 'everyday' should be two words 'every day' when referring to frequency. Also, 'gallery' is incorrect; the correct word is 'calories' to indicate energy content.

× Then recently I tried to reduce my weight so I.

✓ Recently, I tried to reduce my weight, so I cut down on chocolate.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a main verb or object. Adding 'cut down on chocolate' completes the thought and improves sentence structure.

× Yeah, yes, I love to eat chocolate. When I was a kid, my mom usually bought bought iron chocolate for me when I go to school then, but she limits me to eat chocolate in the night time.

✓ Yeah, yes, I loved to eat chocolate. When I was a kid, my mom usually bought chocolate for me when I went to school, but she limited me to eating chocolate at night.

The verb tense should be past ('loved', 'went', 'limited') to match the past context. 'Bought bought' is a repetition error. 'Iron chocolate' is unclear and likely incorrect; removed for clarity. 'Limits me to eat' should be 'limited me to eating' for correct verb form. 'In the night time' is better as 'at night'.

× But I always, you know, just snack a chocolate too much.

✓ But I always, you know, just snack on chocolate too much.

The phrase 'snack a chocolate' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'snack on chocolate'. Also, 'too much' is acceptable here to indicate excess.

× I think because of its texture and taste as chocolates can taste very sweet, very rich and it has all kind of texture, you know, creamy and sweet.

✓ I think it's because of its texture and taste, as chocolates can taste very sweet, very rich, and have all kinds of textures, you know, creamy and sweet.

'All kind of texture' should be 'all kinds of textures' to correctly express plural quantification. Also, 'it has' changed to 'have' to agree with plural 'chocolates'.

× And currently we have a variety of cow chocolates.

✓ And currently we have a variety of chocolate.

'Cow chocolates' is incorrect; likely intended 'cow' as a mistake. 'A variety of chocolate' is the correct phrase to express different types.

× It suits the teeth, but.

✓ It suits the teeth, but I'm not sure why.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding a completion improves clarity. 'Suits the teeth' is unusual; possibly intended to mean 'is good for the teeth' or 'pleases the teeth'.

× My favorite flavor would be milk chocolate as I have a very sweet tooth.

✓ My favorite flavor would be milk chocolate as I have a very sweet tooth.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× I love to eat sweet things, so milk chocolate is my favorites, but I do like to eat like those chocolate, uh, chocolate with some nuts, for example.

✓ I love to eat sweet things, so milk chocolate is my favorite, but I do like to eat chocolates with some nuts, for example.

'Favorites' should be singular 'favorite' to agree with singular subject. 'Like those chocolate' should be 'chocolates' to indicate plural and correct quantifier usage.

× He's not chocolate. I love to eat those.

✓ It's not chocolate. I love to eat those.

'He's' is a contraction for 'he is', which is incorrect here. 'It's' (it is) is appropriate to refer to an object like chocolate.

× I think it's yes, you know, giving a gift to others is a sweet gesture, then chocolate is a sweet acid taste with a nice texture and giving chocolate and a gift is like a tradition since Asian.

✓ I think yes, you know, giving a gift to others is a sweet gesture. Chocolate has a sweet and acidic taste with a nice texture, and giving chocolate as a gift is a tradition in Asia.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'it's yes' is awkward and corrected to 'yes'. 'Sweet acid taste' is corrected to 'sweet and acidic taste'. 'Giving chocolate and a gift' corrected to 'giving chocolate as a gift'. 'Since Asian' corrected to 'in Asia' for correct preposition and noun usage.