Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to use correct verb forms and avoid repeating similar ideas. Also, keep your answer concise and natural.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and gives me a quick energy boost, which makes my day more enjoyable.

提案: Your answer is understandable but a bit awkward and lacks fluency. Try to use more natural expressions and clearer sentence structure.

例: I don't eat chocolate regularly, but I enjoy it whenever I feel like having a treat.

提案: Your answer has some repetition and grammatical mistakes. Try to avoid repeating words and use smoother sentence structures. Also, add linking words to improve coherence.

例: No, I didn't eat chocolate as a child because I rarely had the chance to get any, even though I wanted to.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct verb forms for clarity.

例: Chocolate has become popular worldwide because children and adults enjoy its sweet taste, and it provides a quick source of energy.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains redundancy. Try to express your preference clearly and avoid unnecessary words.

例: My favourite flavour is plain milk chocolate because I enjoy its smooth and creamy taste.

提案: Your answer is understandable but a bit repetitive and grammatically incorrect. Use linking words and clearer sentence structures to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I believe chocolate makes a great gift because both children and adults feel happy receiving it.

× Yes, I like to eat chocolate because it tastes good and when I eat chocolate I always feels I have more energy and it's make my life more fun.

✓ Yes, I like to eat chocolate because it tastes good and when I eat chocolate I always feel I have more energy and it makes my life more fun.

The verbs 'feels' and 'make' do not agree with the singular subject 'I' and 'it'. The correct forms are 'feel' and 'makes' respectively to match the subject-verb agreement in present tense.

× I usually eat chocolate, not regularly, but when I want it I eat.

✓ I usually eat chocolate, not regularly, but when I want it, I eat it.

The sentence is missing the object 'it' after 'eat' to complete the verb phrase. Adding 'it' clarifies what is being eaten, improving sentence clarity.

× No, I didn't eat chocolate when I was a child. In my in my childhood, I did not get any chance to get chocolate. So even I hope but I did not get it.

✓ No, I didn't eat chocolate when I was a child. In my childhood, I did not get any chance to have chocolate. So even though I hoped, I did not get it.

The phrase 'in my in my childhood' has a repetition error and 'get chocolate' is better expressed as 'have chocolate' in this context. Also, 'So even I hope' is incorrect; it should be 'So even though I hoped' to correctly express the past desire.

× Chocolate is become more popular around the world. The kids like chocolate and also others like chocolate because it's taste and we can get more energy.

✓ Chocolate has become more popular around the world. Kids like chocolate and others also like chocolate because of its taste and because we can get more energy from it.

The phrase 'Chocolate is become' is incorrect; the present perfect 'has become' is appropriate. 'The kids' should be 'Kids' as a general statement. 'It's taste' should be 'its taste' (possessive pronoun). Also, 'because it's taste' is incomplete; 'because of its taste' is correct.

× I usually eat the original chocolate that is my best favorite.

✓ I usually eat the original chocolate, which is my favourite.

The phrase 'best favorite' is redundant; 'favourite' alone suffices. Also, 'that is' is better replaced with 'which is' for non-restrictive clauses.

× Yes, I think it's good to give chocolate as a gift to others because people hope to get the gift as chocolate. Kids when they get a gift as chocolate, they feel happy and also the others.

✓ Yes, I think it's good to give chocolate as a gift to others because people hope to receive gifts like chocolate. When kids get chocolate as a gift, they feel happy, and so do others.

The phrase 'hope to get the gift as chocolate' is awkward; 'hope to receive gifts like chocolate' is clearer. 'Kids when they get a gift as chocolate' is better as 'When kids get chocolate as a gift'. 'and also the others' is incomplete; 'and so do others' correctly completes the idea.