Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite detailed but a bit lengthy and slightly repetitive. Try to keep your response concise and avoid redundancy by combining similar ideas. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and gives me a quick energy boost. However, since I follow a strict diet as a gym enthusiast, I rarely eat it. But when I do, I tend to indulge to satisfy my cravings.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by providing more specific details and using linking words to make it more coherent. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'totally depends'.

例: I eat chocolate depending on my cravings; sometimes I have it regularly, but other times I might go a whole week without eating any.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by correcting grammar and making the sentences more natural. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoyed eating chocolates as a child. Whenever my father returned from abroad every six months, he brought imported chocolates, and I would spend the whole day enjoying them.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks coherence. Try to use linking words and avoid repeating the same idea. Also, be more specific and confident in your statements.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its sweet and delicious taste, which appeals to many people's taste buds globally.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by avoiding repetition and using more precise vocabulary. Also, try to combine sentences for better flow.

例: I enjoy all flavors of chocolate, but my favourite is milk chocolate because of its sweet taste and creamy texture.

提案: Your answer has a nice idea but the sentence structure is awkward. Try to express your thoughts more naturally and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I think giving chocolates as gifts is a great idea because their sweetness symbolizes the sweet bond between people.

× I tend to indulge in it in a huge portion to satisfy my cravings.

✓ I tend to indulge in it in huge portions to satisfy my cravings.

The phrase 'a huge portion' is incorrect here because 'portion' is a countable noun and when talking about indulging repeatedly, the plural 'portions' is appropriate. Also, 'in huge portions' is the correct collocation to express consuming large amounts.

× Sometimes I will eat regularly or sometimes I will go on a week without eating it.

✓ Sometimes I eat regularly or sometimes I go a week without eating it.

The phrase 'go on a week' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'go a week' without 'on'. Also, 'will' is unnecessary here as the sentence refers to habitual actions, so present simple tense is appropriate.

× Yes, I enjoyed eating chocolates when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I enjoyed eating chocolate when I was a kid.

The word 'chocolate' is generally used as an uncountable noun when referring to the substance in general, so 'chocolates' is incorrect unless referring to individual pieces or types. Here, 'chocolate' is appropriate.

× he used to bring imported chocolate from foreign and I used to sit all day and eat those chocolate.

✓ he used to bring imported chocolate from abroad and I used to sit all day and eat that chocolate.

The word 'foreign' is an adjective and cannot be used as a noun here; 'abroad' is the correct adverb. Also, 'those chocolate' is incorrect because 'chocolate' is uncountable; 'that chocolate' is correct.

× because of its sweet taste and it is highly delicious and also people all around the world enjoy sweet taste more I guess and it suits their taste bud.

✓ because of its sweet taste and its high deliciousness; also, people all around the world enjoy sweet tastes more, I guess, and it suits their taste buds.

The original sentence is a run-on with improper conjunction use. It needs to be split or connected properly. Also, 'taste bud' should be plural 'taste buds' as humans have multiple taste buds.

× I like it because of its sweet and Milky texture.

✓ I like it because of its sweet and milky texture.

'Milky' should not be capitalized as it is an adjective here. Adjectives should be in lowercase unless they are proper nouns.

× I think it is really a good idea to give chocolates as gift to others because since chocolate is sweet so it showcases that the bond between us also remains sweet as this chocolate.

✓ I think it is really a good idea to give chocolates as gifts to others because since chocolate is sweet, it showcases that the bond between us also remains as sweet as this chocolate.

'Gift' should be plural 'gifts' because 'chocolates' is plural. Also, the sentence structure is improved by adding a comma after 'sweet' and correcting the simile to 'as sweet as this chocolate'.