Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a clear opinion with reasons, using simple and correct sentences. Avoid redundancy and focus on coherence.

例: I don't like eating chocolate very much because it contains a lot of sugar, which can harm our health. For example, it may increase blood pressure and cause weight gain.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using more precise linking words and avoiding minor grammatical mistakes. Also, try to make your sentences more concise and natural.

例: I usually eat chocolate once or twice a week as a small treat after dinner. It helps me relax and satisfy my sweet craving without being excessive. For instance, I often have a piece of dark chocolate while watching a movie in the evening.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant. To improve, use correct plural forms and add linking words to enhance coherence.

例: Yes, I used to eat chocolate quite often when I was a child. It was one of my favourite treats, especially during special occasions like birthdays and holidays. I think the sweet taste and smooth texture made it very appealing to me back then.

提案: Your answer is confusing and lacks clarity. Try to give a direct response with clear reasons and use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because many people enjoy sweet foods. Also, it is available everywhere, from small villages to big cities, which makes it easy to find.

提案: Your answer has good content but needs better sentence structure and vocabulary. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and explain your ideas more clearly.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is dark chocolate because it helps boost my energy and keeps me alert. This is very helpful when I need to read, learn, or study.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and has grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically.

例: I think chocolate is a good gift because many people like it. For example, giving chocolate on someone's birthday can make their day special.

× Well I'm not a sweetie or shook the person because sugar can damage our body cells and blood pressure also and it have more disadvantages instead of benefits.

✓ Well, I'm not a sweet tooth or a person who likes sweets because sugar can damage our body cells and blood pressure, and it has more disadvantages than benefits.

The phrase 'sweetie or shook the person' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'sweet tooth' to describe someone who likes sweets. Also, 'it have' should be 'it has' to agree with the singular subject. The phrase 'instead of benefits' should be 'than benefits' to correctly compare disadvantages and benefits.

× So I didn't really like eating chocolates because it have a lot of calories which gain the bait and which reduce.

✓ So I didn't really like eating chocolates because they have a lot of calories which cause weight gain and reduction in health.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrect when referring to 'chocolates' which is plural; it should be 'they'. Also, 'gain the bait' is incorrect and should be 'cause weight gain'. The sentence was incomplete and unclear, so it was corrected for clarity and grammar.

× I enjoy it because it helps me relax and satisfy my sweet craving because without being excessive.

✓ I enjoy it because it helps me relax and satisfy my sweet craving without being excessive.

The phrase 'because without being excessive' is incorrect; the conjunction 'because' is unnecessary here and should be removed to make the sentence grammatically correct and clear.

× It was one of my favorite treat, especially during special occasions like birthdays and holidays.

✓ It was one of my favorite treats, especially during special occasions like birthdays and holidays.

The word 'treat' should be plural 'treats' because it is preceded by 'one of my favorite', which requires a plural noun.

× According according to me, chocolate is very popular in every country and even from the small village to bigger urban cities because chocolate people like sweet and people have sweet tooth sometimes chocolate.

✓ According to me, chocolate is very popular in every country, from small villages to big urban cities, because people like sweets and sometimes have a sweet tooth.

The phrase 'According according to me' is redundant; only 'According to me' is correct. 'From the small village to bigger urban cities' should be 'from small villages to big urban cities' for correct preposition and plural usage. The sentence structure was unclear and corrected for clarity.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate because dark chocolate can help me to boost energy and, uh, reduce my sleeping patterns.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate because dark chocolate can help me boost energy and reduce my sleepiness.

The phrase 'help me to boost' is acceptable but 'help me boost' is more natural. 'Reduce my sleeping patterns' is incorrect; it should be 'reduce my sleepiness' or 'improve my sleep patterns' depending on intended meaning.

× According to me, chocolate is very popular around the world so everyone like the chocolate.

✓ According to me, chocolate is very popular around the world so everyone likes chocolate.

The verb 'like' should be 'likes' to agree with the singular subject 'everyone'. Also, 'the chocolate' is unnecessary; 'chocolate' without 'the' is correct here.

× For example, if someone have a birthday and you gift a chocolate and you make the day of that person so it is good.

✓ For example, if someone has a birthday and you give chocolate as a gift, you make that person's day, so it is good.

The verb 'have' should be 'has' to agree with singular subject 'someone'. 'Gift a chocolate' is better expressed as 'give chocolate as a gift'. The sentence was restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.