Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and grammatically incorrect. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence and support it with reasons. Also, avoid redundancy and keep the answer concise.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it helps me feel relaxed and reduces my stress after a long day.

提案: Your answer is too long and lacks coherence. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, be specific and clear about frequency and reasons.

例: I usually eat chocolate after work to unwind. Sometimes, when I feel low, I prefer dark chocolate because it contains caffeine that boosts my energy.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and is a bit repetitive. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add supporting details using linking words.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a kid. However, my mother advised me to limit it to once a week to stay healthy.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons. Avoid vague phrases like 'many more ingredients'.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its sweet taste and the caffeine content, which can make people feel relaxed. Also, many people associate chocolate with happy childhood memories.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Be clear and concise, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to explain why you like that flavour.

例: My favourite flavour is white chocolate because it is very sweet and helps me relax after a hectic day.

提案: Your answer is confusing and contradictory. Clarify your opinion and support it with clear reasons. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I don't think chocolate is always a good gift because some people, especially older adults or those with diabetes, cannot eat it. Therefore, I prefer to choose other gifts.

× I'm not eating chocolates for fun but whenever I eat it feels relaxed and stress free.

✓ I don't eat chocolates for fun but whenever I eat them, I feel relaxed and stress free.

The sentence incorrectly uses the present continuous tense 'I'm not eating' instead of the simple present 'I don't eat' to express a habitual action. Also, 'chocolates' is plural, so the pronoun should be 'them' instead of 'it'. The verb 'feels' should be 'feel' to agree with the subject 'I'.

× I'm not eating chocolates for fun but whenever I eat it feels relaxed and stress free.

✓ I don't eat chocolates for fun but whenever I eat them, I feel relaxed and stress free.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrectly used to refer to 'chocolates' which is plural; the correct pronoun is 'them'. Also, the verb 'feels' should be 'feel' to agree with the subject 'I'.

× After a long day at work, having a small piece of chocolate helps me unwind and feel happier and sometimes in periods when I feel very low, dark chocolates help me and more caffeine helps me to be a strong girl and from.

✓ After a long day at work, having a small piece of chocolate helps me unwind and feel happier. Sometimes, when I feel very low, dark chocolates help me, and more caffeine helps me to be strong.

The original sentence is a run-on with unclear structure and an incomplete phrase 'and from'. It needs to be split into clearer sentences and the phrase 'to be a strong girl and from' is incorrect and incomplete. 'To be strong' is sufficient and clearer.

× Yes, I was eating chocolate and because of that my mom scolded me and saying that you don't have to eat chocolate daily.

✓ Yes, I used to eat chocolate, and because of that, my mom scolded me, saying that you don't have to eat chocolate daily.

The past continuous 'was eating' is not appropriate here; 'used to eat' better expresses habitual past action. Also, 'and saying' should be 'saying' as a participle phrase linked to 'my mom scolded me'. Commas are added for clarity.

× If you are eating a chocolate once in a week it's OK.

✓ If you eat chocolate once a week, it's OK.

The article 'a' before 'chocolate' is incorrect because 'chocolate' is uncountable here. Also, 'once in a week' is better expressed as 'once a week'. The present continuous 'are eating' is replaced with simple present 'eat' for general truth.

× From my perspective, chocolate is popular because of its sweet taste as well as the relaxing components like caffeine and many more ingredients that makes so delicious and nostalgia effect from childhood to teenager makes.

✓ From my perspective, chocolate is popular because of its sweet taste as well as relaxing components like caffeine and many other ingredients that make it so delicious. The nostalgic effect from childhood to teenage years also contributes.

The phrase 'many more ingredients that makes so delicious' is incorrect; 'many other ingredients that make it so delicious' is correct. 'Nostalgia effect from childhood to teenager makes' is incomplete and unclear; it is corrected to 'The nostalgic effect from childhood to teenage years also contributes.'

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is white chocolate because it's very sweet in taste and makes me relax from a hectic tea.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is white chocolate because it's very sweet in taste and helps me relax after a hectic day.

The phrase 'makes me relax from a hectic tea' is incorrect; 'helps me relax after a hectic day' is the correct expression. 'Tea' is likely a typo or misused word here.

× It's white chocolate components make my day more and more relaxing.

✓ Its white chocolate components make my day more and more relaxing.

The possessive pronoun 'Its' should not have an apostrophe. Also, 'white chocolate components' is plural, so 'make' is correct.

× No, I don't think so. We have to use chocolates for gifting purpose because many aged or many people don't like chocolates because they have many diseases like diabetes.

✓ No, I don't think so. We should not use chocolates for gifting purposes because many elderly people or many others don't like chocolates due to diseases like diabetes.

'Many aged' is incorrect; 'many elderly people' is correct. 'Gifting purpose' should be plural 'gifting purposes'. 'Many diseases' is better expressed as 'due to diseases'.

× Some of them don't like chocolates.

✓ Some of them don't like chocolate.

'Chocolate' is uncountable here, so 'chocolate' without 's' is correct.