Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use clear and natural expressions to explain why you like chocolate, and keep your answer concise and relevant.

例: Yes, I enjoy eating chocolate because its sweetness always lifts my mood and makes me feel happier.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas and be specific about frequency and reasons.

例: I usually eat chocolate about once a week, especially in February when there are big discounts, as chocolate can be quite expensive.

提案: Focus on clear and grammatically correct sentences. Use linking words to explain the situation logically and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a kid because my sister, who lived abroad, would bring back lots of chocolate when she visited once a year, so I could save it for the whole year.

提案: Complete your sentences and avoid vague phrases. Use specific reasons and linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: In my opinion, chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes delicious and most people enjoy its sweet flavour.

提案: Use more natural expressions and avoid informal phrases like 'the best combo ever'. Also, clarify your description with linking words.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is cookies and cream because I enjoy the combination of crunchy cookies, smooth chocolate, and sweet white cream.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'umm' and unclear references such as 'T-shirt'. Provide clear reasons and examples for your opinion.

例: Yes, I think chocolate makes a great gift because many people give it during Christmas and other special occasions.

× Yes I do because the sweets of chocolate make me feel more happy.

✓ Yes, I do because the sweetness of chocolate makes me feel happier.

The phrase 'more happy' is incorrect; the comparative form of 'happy' is 'happier'. Also, 'sweets of chocolate' is incorrect; 'sweetness of chocolate' is the proper noun form to describe the quality. Additionally, subject-verb agreement requires 'makes' instead of 'make' because 'sweetness' is singular.

× Chocolate can and can can.

✓ Chocolate can do that.

The original sentence is unclear and repetitive. It lacks proper structure and meaning. Replacing it with a clear, concise sentence improves clarity.

× Chocolate can make my mood better.

✓ Chocolate can improve my mood.

While 'make my mood better' is understandable, 'improve my mood' is more natural. The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but can be improved for naturalness.

× Because the price of chocolate is kind of expensive, I just can get chocolate maybe once in a week every February because it will have a big discount.

✓ Because the price of chocolate is quite expensive, I can only get chocolate maybe once a week in February when there is a big discount.

The modal verb 'can' is incorrectly placed as 'just can'. The correct placement is 'can only'. Also, 'once in a week' should be 'once a week'. 'Every February' is better expressed as 'in February'. 'It will have' is better as 'there is' to indicate the discount period.

× Yes, because my sister walked abroad and she always comes back every once in a year and she brings so many chocolate because the chocolate are so many.

✓ Yes, because my sister went abroad and she always comes back once a year and she brings a lot of chocolate because there is so much chocolate.

'Walked abroad' is incorrect; the correct past tense verb is 'went abroad'. 'Every once in a year' is incorrect; 'once a year' is correct. 'So many chocolate' is incorrect because 'chocolate' is uncountable; 'a lot of chocolate' or 'so much chocolate' is correct. 'The chocolate are' is incorrect; 'there is' is appropriate for uncountable nouns.

× I can keep it or save it for one year's stocks.

✓ I can keep it or save it as stock for one year.

'One year's stocks' is awkward and incorrect. 'Stock for one year' is a clearer and grammatically correct expression.

× In my opinion, chocolate is popular around the world because the taste was really good and all people likes it and.

✓ In my opinion, chocolate is popular around the world because the taste is really good and all people like it.

The sentence mixes past tense 'was' with present tense context; 'taste' should be present tense 'is'. 'All people likes' is incorrect; subject-verb agreement requires 'like'. The sentence ends abruptly with 'and' which should be removed.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is cookies and cream because I really like the combination between cookies, just chocolate, and the white cream.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is cookies and cream because I really like the combination of cookies, plain chocolate, and white cream.

The preposition 'between' is used for two items; 'combination of' is correct for more than two items. 'Just chocolate' is better expressed as 'plain chocolate'. 'The white cream' should be 'white cream' without 'the'.

× Yes, I think it's good to use chocolate as a gift because umm, many people use it for umm, Christmas gift or T-shirt and for many more about that.

✓ Yes, I think it's good to use chocolate as a gift because many people use it as a Christmas gift or for other occasions.

'Christmas gift or T-shirt' is confusing and incorrect; 'T-shirt' does not fit here. 'For many more about that' is unclear and ungrammatical. The corrected sentence clarifies the meaning and corrects pronoun and article usage.