Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding filler words like 'umm' and repeating ideas. Start with a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific reasons with linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. When I was a kid, I used to enjoy chocolate every evening as a treat, which made me love it even more.

提案: Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words like 'but' or 'however' to connect ideas clearly. Provide a direct answer about current habits and explain reasons with specific details.

例: I used to eat chocolate every evening as a snack after dinner when I was a kid. However, now I rarely eat it because I know it can cause health problems like acne.

提案: Make your answer more structured by starting with a clear topic sentence. Avoid repeating previous points and clarify your ideas. Use linking words to connect your reasons logically.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate when I was a kid because I love sweet treats. However, I now realize that eating too much chocolate can cause health problems.

提案: Try to give a clear and complete answer. Use linking words to compare different types of chocolate and explain why people like it. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its variety of flavors. For example, dark chocolate tastes slightly bitter, while white chocolate is creamy, so people can choose according to their preference.

提案: Avoid filler words and unclear expressions. Start with a clear topic sentence and explain why you like that flavor using specific descriptive words. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My favorite chocolate flavor is strawberry mixed with chocolate because it combines sweetness, slight bitterness, and a hint of sourness. This combination creates a unique and delicious taste.

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise by removing filler words. Use clear linking words to explain why chocolate is a good gift and mention specific occasions to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a great gift for special occasions like Valentine's Day or birthdays. It shows your genuine feelings and is appreciated by many people.

× I'm the person who really likes sweet treat.

✓ I'm the person who really likes sweet treats.

The noun 'treat' should be plural 'treats' because it refers to sweet items in general, not just one single treat.

× I really into chocolate.

✓ I was really into chocolate.

The phrase 'really into' requires a form of the verb 'to be' before it. The correct form is 'was really into' to indicate past state.

× I really like into chocolate.

✓ I really liked chocolate.

The phrase 'like into' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'liked chocolate' to express past preference.

× I really like eating chocolate at the evening because it's, it's like a, umm, a snack after dinners.

✓ I really liked eating chocolate in the evening because it was like a snack after dinner.

Use past tense 'liked' to match 'when I was a kid'. Also, 'in the evening' is the correct preposition, and 'dinner' is uncountable, so no plural 'dinners'.

× I really like eating chocolate at the evening

✓ I really like eating chocolate in the evening

'In the evening' is the correct prepositional phrase to indicate time of day, not 'at the evening'.

× It's also can cause acne.

✓ It can also cause acne.

Modal verb 'can' should be placed before the main verb without 'is'. The correct structure is 'can cause'.

× I really into chocolate and I really like eating chocolate when I was a kid

✓ I was really into chocolate and I really liked eating chocolate when I was a kid

The verb 'to be' is needed before 'really into'. Also, past tense 'liked' matches the time frame 'when I was a kid'.

× I'm the person to like sweet who likes sweet treats.

✓ I'm the person who likes sweets, who likes sweet treats.

The noun 'sweet' should be plural 'sweets' when referring to sweet items in general.

× So chocolate is like the first like the main that I really wanna eat every day.

✓ So chocolate is like the first and main thing that I really want to eat every day.

The phrase 'the first like the main' is unclear; 'first and main thing' is clearer. Also, 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal speech.

× And it's also like cause a lot of health problem.

✓ And it also causes a lot of health problems.

'Problem' should be plural 'problems' because it refers to multiple health issues. Also, 'cause' should be 'causes' to agree with singular subject 'it'.

× because the taste of it because some chocolate it doesn't taste the same.

✓ because of the taste; some chocolate doesn't taste the same.

Use 'because of' to indicate reason. Also, remove redundant 'it' after 'some chocolate'.

× some chocolate it doesn't taste the same.

✓ some chocolate doesn't taste the same.

The subject 'some chocolate' already implies 'it', so 'it' is redundant and should be removed.

× if you compare to white chocolate, it tastes like so creamy.

✓ if you compare it to white chocolate, it tastes so creamy.

The verb 'compare' requires an object before 'to'. Also, 'like so creamy' should be 'so creamy'.

× My favorite flavors of chocolate umm, which is like a strawberry make with chocolate

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is strawberry made with chocolate

'Flavors' should be singular 'flavor' to match 'is'. Also, 'make' should be 'made' as past participle describing the flavor.

× because umm it could give me not just a a sweet and a little bitter, but it's also give me a little sour in it.

✓ because it gives me not just sweetness and a little bitterness, but it also gives me a little sourness.

Use nouns 'sweetness', 'bitterness', and 'sourness' to describe tastes. Also, 'give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject 'it'.

× And this is like the best combination ever I have advertised before.

✓ And this is like the best combination I have ever experienced before.

'Advertised' is incorrect here; 'experienced' or 'had' fits better. Also, 'ever' should be placed before the verb.

× I really think that chocolate is the best gift ever to give for like somebody that you know for this special occasion

✓ I really think that chocolate is the best gift ever to give to somebody you know for a special occasion

Use 'to give to somebody' not 'for like somebody'. Also, 'a special occasion' is more natural than 'this special occasion' in general statements.

× which is like Valentine or birthday umm for the Valentine it's really great to show your umm truly like your emotional for them.

✓ which is like Valentine's Day or a birthday. For Valentine's Day, it's really great to truly show your emotions to them.

Use 'Valentine's Day' as the correct term. Also, 'emotional' should be 'emotions', and 'for them' should be 'to them'.

× Yeah, I think it's really good, truly feeling.

✓ Yeah, I think it really expresses true feelings.

'Truly feeling' is incorrect; use 'true feelings' as a noun phrase. Also, 'really expresses' is a better verb phrase here.