Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct grammar and avoid redundancy. Also, organise your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words for coherence. For example, start with your preference, then explain reasons and exceptions.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it gives me energy and improves my mood. However, I avoid eating it when my tummy is full or at night.

提案: Focus on clarity and correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, avoid vague phrases and be specific about frequency.

例: I eat chocolate quite often because it is my favourite. In particular, I enjoy Belgian chocolate as it boosts my energy and helps me feel more confident and calm.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve sentence flow by using linking words. Also, use past tense consistently and be specific about your preferences.

例: Yes, I loved eating chocolate as a child because it was my favourite candy. Back then, there were fewer varieties, so I usually ate one or two types that I liked the most.

提案: Work on grammar and sentence structure. Use linking words to organise your answer logically. Also, be more specific and avoid vague expressions.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because many people enjoy its delicious taste. Moreover, it helps relieve stress and improve mood, making it a preferred dessert for many.

提案: Use clear and grammatically correct sentences. Avoid redundancy and clarify your favourite flavour with specific descriptions.

例: I enjoy all flavours of chocolate since it is my favourite dessert. However, I especially like Belgian dark chocolate because of its rich taste, and I love trying it repeatedly.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas and be specific about why chocolate makes a good gift.

例: Yes, I believe chocolate is a great gift because most people like it. It can be a token of love and appreciation, so I often give my friends a bag of chocolates as a thoughtful present.

× Yes, of course I like to eating chocolate because it gives me some energy and makes my mood sometimes and I think I always prefer to eat chocolate.

✓ Yes, of course I like eating chocolate because it gives me some energy and sometimes improves my mood, and I think I always prefer to eat chocolate.

The phrase 'like to eating' is incorrect because after 'like', the verb should be in the base form or gerund form, not 'to' plus '-ing'. Correct usage is either 'like to eat' or 'like eating'. Here, 'like eating' fits better. Also, 'makes my mood sometimes' is awkward; it should be 'sometimes improves my mood' for clarity.

× Most of yeah, most of the time I eat chocolate because these are my favorite and I love to eat Belgium chocolate because they boost my energy and they can give me the confidence of working better because they can give me more Peace of Mind.

✓ Most of the time I eat chocolate because it is my favorite and I love to eat Belgian chocolate because it boosts my energy and can give me the confidence to work better because it can give me more peace of mind.

The word 'these' is plural but 'chocolate' is uncountable here, so 'it' should be used. 'Belgium chocolate' should be 'Belgian chocolate' as an adjective. Also, 'they boost' should be 'it boosts' to agree with singular 'Belgian chocolate'. 'Peace of Mind' should not be capitalized. The sentence needed singular/plural agreement corrections.

× So I often eat one or two variety of chocolates which I love the most and I love to eat more and more.

✓ So I often ate one or two varieties of chocolates which I loved the most and I loved to eat more and more.

Since the question is about childhood (past), the verbs should be in past tense: 'eat' to 'ate', 'love' to 'loved'. Also, 'variety' should be plural 'varieties' when referring to more than one type.

× Yeah, of course chocolate are popular in the whole world because everybody wants to love eat chocolate because it relieves your stress and make your mood and on the top of that it more delicious dessert everybody would prefer to have.

✓ Yeah, of course chocolate is popular all over the world because everybody loves to eat chocolate as it relieves stress and improves your mood, and on top of that, it is a more delicious dessert that everybody would prefer to have.

'Chocolate' is uncountable singular, so 'are' should be 'is'. 'Everybody wants to love eat' is incorrect; it should be 'everybody loves to eat'. 'Make your mood' is incorrect; it should be 'improves your mood'. Also, 'it more delicious dessert' needs 'is a more delicious dessert' for correct article and verb usage.

× I like to eat all the flavors of chocolate as chocolate is my favorite dessert. Yeah, most liking the flavor for chocolate is Belgian chocolate, which is is dark chocolate, dark brown chocolate. It's too young and I love to try again and again.

✓ I like to eat all the flavors of chocolate as chocolate is my favorite dessert. Yeah, my most liked flavor of chocolate is Belgian chocolate, which is dark chocolate, dark brown in color. It's very rich and I love to try it again and again.

'Most liking the flavor' is incorrect; it should be 'my most liked flavor'. 'Which is is' has a repeated verb. 'It's too young' is incorrect; likely intended 'It's very rich' or 'It's very good'. The sentence needed correction in adjective use and clarity.

× Yes, of course, I think everybody likes the chocolate, and as a token of love, you can give it to someone who is full of love and memories.

✓ Yes, of course, I think everybody likes chocolate, and as a token of love, you can give it to someone who is full of love and memories.

The article 'the' before 'chocolate' is unnecessary when speaking generally about chocolate. Removing 'the' makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× And I would prefer to give my friends the token of love, the bag of chocolate, which is a wonderful gift from my side to anyone.

✓ And I would prefer to give my friends a token of love, a bag of chocolate, which is a wonderful gift from me to anyone.

'The token of love' and 'the bag of chocolate' are indefinite here, so 'a' is more appropriate. 'From my side' is incorrect; it should be 'from me'. This corrects pronoun and article usage.