Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하며, 중복 표현을 피하고, 주제 문장과 이유를 명확히 제시하세요.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it helps me relax and reduces my stress. However, I try to limit my intake since sweet desserts are not very healthy.

提案: 답변이 다소 중복되고 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 간결하게 빈도와 이유를 명확히 연결하는 문장을 사용하세요.

例: I usually eat chocolate twice a week, especially when I feel stressed and need something sweet to comfort me.

提案: 중복된 표현과 문법 오류가 있습니다. 과거 습관과 부모님의 제한을 명확하고 자연스럽게 표현하세요.

例: When I was five, I used to eat chocolate every day, but my parents limited me to twice a week to keep me healthy.

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 문법 오류가 있습니다. 이유를 두 가지로 명확히 제시하고 연결어를 사용해 논리적으로 표현하세요.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because many people enjoy sweet tastes that improve their mood, and also effective advertising has increased its appeal.

提案: 문법과 어휘 사용에 오류가 많고 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 좋아하는 맛을 명확히 표현하고, 나이에 따른 변화를 자연스럽게 설명하세요.

例: My favorite chocolate flavor has changed over time. As a child, I liked milk chocolate, but now I prefer matcha chocolate because I enjoy its subtle sweetness.

提案: 답변이 비교적 명확하지만, 문장 연결과 자연스러운 표현을 개선할 수 있습니다. 계절에 따른 이유를 더 구체적으로 설명하세요.

例: It depends on the season. I wouldn't recommend giving chocolate as a gift in summer because it melts easily, but in winter, chocolate makes a great present.

× I like eating chocolate so I believe sweet desserts can make me relax and do not overthinking so but actually I try to let's eat chocolate because I know sweet dessert are not good for my body.

✓ I like eating chocolate because I believe sweet desserts can help me relax and prevent me from overthinking, but actually I try to avoid eating chocolate because I know sweet desserts are not good for my body.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'do not overthinking' which should be 'prevent me from overthinking' to correctly use the verb form after 'do not'. Also, 'try to let's eat chocolate' is incorrect; it should be 'try to avoid eating chocolate'. Additionally, 'sweet dessert are' should be 'sweet desserts are' to match plural form.

× I like eating chocolate so I believe sweet desserts can make me relax and do not overthinking so but actually I try to let's eat chocolate because I know sweet dessert are not good for my body.

✓ I like eating chocolate because I believe sweet desserts can help me relax and prevent me from overthinking, but actually I try to avoid eating chocolate because I know sweet desserts are not good for my body.

The phrase 'sweet dessert are' is incorrect because 'dessert' is singular while 'are' is plural. It should be 'sweet desserts are' to maintain subject-verb agreement.

× So to be precise, I eat chocolate whenever I need sweet things to do with my stress.

✓ So to be precise, I eat chocolate whenever I need sweet things to help with my stress.

The phrase 'to do with my stress' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'to help with my stress' or 'to deal with my stress'. 'Do with' is not appropriate here.

× Actually, I ate chocolate every single day when I was five years old. But my parents didn't want to eat to eat too much, so I ate chocolate twice a week.

✓ Actually, I ate chocolate every single day when I was five years old. But my parents didn't want me to eat too much, so I ate chocolate twice a week.

The phrase 'didn't want to eat to eat too much' is incorrect. It should be 'didn't want me to eat too much' to correctly express the parents' desire regarding the student's eating habits.

× Well, I can't think of two things. First of all, I think many people likes to eat sweet things because it can make them feel better and also there is success of advertisement of chocolate.

✓ Well, I can't think of two things. First of all, I think many people like to eat sweet things because it can make them feel better and also there is success in the advertisement of chocolate.

The verb 'likes' should be 'like' to agree with the plural subject 'many people'. Also, 'success of advertisement' should be 'success in the advertisement' for correct preposition usage.

× Well, I can't think of two things. First of all, I think many people likes to eat sweet things because it can make them feel better and also there is success of advertisement of chocolate.

✓ Well, I can't think of two things. First of all, I think many people like to eat sweet things because it can make them feel better and also there is success in the advertisement of chocolate.

The phrase 'success of advertisement' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'success in the advertisement' to indicate where the success lies.

× Well it depends on my age. When I was a child I like to milk chocolate but now my favorite flavor is melcha so I like marchers bit sweetness.

✓ Well, it depends on my age. When I was a child, I liked milk chocolate but now my favorite flavor is matcha because I like a bit of sweetness.

The verb 'like' should be in past tense 'liked' to match the past time 'when I was a child'. Also, 'melcha' is corrected to 'matcha', and 'marchers bit sweetness' is corrected to 'because I like a bit of sweetness' for clarity and grammar.

× Well it depends on my age. When I was a child I like to milk chocolate but now my favorite flavor is melcha so I like marchers bit sweetness.

✓ Well, it depends on my age. When I was a child, I liked milk chocolate but now my favorite flavor is matcha because I like a bit of sweetness.

The phrase 'like to milk chocolate' is incorrect; it should be 'liked milk chocolate'. Also, 'so I like marchers bit sweetness' is unclear and corrected to 'because I like a bit of sweetness' to properly express the reason.

× During in summer I don't recommend chocolate as gift because it can easily melt.

✓ During summer, I don't recommend chocolate as a gift because it can easily melt.

The phrase 'During in summer' is incorrect; 'during summer' is correct. Also, 'as gift' should be 'as a gift' to include the article.

× During in summer I don't recommend chocolate as gift because it can easily melt.

✓ During summer, I don't recommend chocolate as a gift because it can easily melt.

The phrase 'as gift' is missing the article 'a'. It should be 'as a gift' to be grammatically correct.

× But during the winter I think chocolate is good gift to others.

✓ But during the winter, I think chocolate is a good gift to others.

The phrase 'good gift' is missing the article 'a'. It should be 'a good gift' to be grammatically correct.