Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中有语法错误和表达不清晰的地方，建议简化句子结构，避免重复和无意义的词汇，表达时要更自然流畅。

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and is easy to find. Also, eating chocolate often makes me feel happier.

提案: 回答较为完整，但有些语句重复且不够连贯，建议使用连接词使表达更流畅，并注意语法准确。

例: I eat chocolate occasionally, mostly during vacations or holidays. Sometimes, when friends or family give me chocolate as a gift, I enjoy eating it.

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不清晰的问题，建议注意时态和主谓一致，表达时要简洁明了。

例: No, I didn't eat chocolate often as a kid because it is sweet and bad for my teeth. Also, my parents thought chocolate was unhealthy, so they limited my intake.

提案: 回答内容较完整，但句子结构较简单且有语法错误，建议使用更多连接词和丰富词汇，使表达更自然。

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is easy to buy and affordable. Moreover, it tastes delicious, which makes many people enjoy it.

提案: 回答中有重复和语法错误，建议简化表达，避免重复，并使用更准确的词汇描述口味。

例: My favourite flavour is dark chocolate because it has a slightly bitter taste and is good for health. I find it very delicious.

提案: 回答较好，但句子结构较为简单，建议使用更多连接词和丰富词汇，使表达更自然流畅。

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a great gift because it is affordable and easy to buy in stores. Also, many people like its delicious taste.

× I do like eating the chocolates because it has a very good taste.

✓ I do like eating chocolate because it has a very good taste.

这里“chocolates”应使用不可数名词“chocolate”，因为指的是巧克力这种食物的整体，而不是具体的多个巧克力。

× What's more is not very difficult to get.

✓ What's more, it is not very difficult to get.

句中缺少主语，需加上代词“it”来指代巧克力。

× So in chocolates, awful.

✓ So, eating chocolate is enjoyable.

原句结构混乱，缺少谓语和明确表达，需重构句子使其通顺。

× Uh, increase my end often makes me feel more happy, so I like it.

✓ Uh, eating chocolate often makes me feel happier, so I like it.

“increase my end”表达不清，应改为“eating chocolate”；“more happy”应使用比较级“happier”。

× Most, most of the time I do not eat chocolate and I just have them on the vacations or on some holidays.

✓ Most of the time I do not eat chocolate and I just have it on vacations or on some holidays.

“vacations”前不加冠词，“the vacations”不合适；“them”指代巧克力应为单数“it”。

× Maybe sometimes that other friends or parents give some gifts, give the chocolate as a gift to me, I will eat some.

✓ Maybe sometimes other friends or parents give me chocolate as a gift, and I will eat some.

“give the chocolate as a gift to me”表达冗余且不自然，应简化为“give me chocolate as a gift”。

× No I didn't. I did not often eat the chocolate when I were a kid because chocolates are taste sweet and is not good for my teeth.

✓ No, I didn't. I did not often eat chocolate when I was a kid because chocolate tastes sweet and is not good for my teeth.

“I were”应为“I was”；“chocolates are taste sweet”语法错误，应为“chocolate tastes sweet”；“is not good”主语应与“chocolate”一致。

× What's more the parent thing chocolate is not healthy so I was limited to it.

✓ What's more, parents think chocolate is not healthy, so I was limited to it.

“the parent thing chocolate”表达错误，应为“parents think chocolate”。

× Firstly, chocolate is very easy to buy. We can see that there are many chocolates can in the stores near to our house.

✓ Firstly, chocolate is very easy to buy. We can see that there are many chocolates in the stores near our house.

“can”多余，应去掉；“near to”应为“near”。

× What's more, the chocolate is not very expensive so everyone can purchase it.

✓ What's more, chocolate is not very expensive so everyone can purchase it.

“the chocolate”不合适，指代泛指巧克力时不加定冠词。

× And last is chocolate is taste good so many people like it.

✓ And lastly, chocolate tastes good so many people like it.

“is taste good”语法错误，应为“tastes good”；“And last is”表达不自然，应为“And lastly”。

× Umm, the most tasty flavor I think is the dark one.

✓ Umm, I think the tastiest flavor is the dark one.

“most tasty”应使用最高级“tastiest”；语序调整使句子更自然。

× I love the dark chocolates because it takes a little bit bitter and also good for our health.

✓ I love dark chocolate because it tastes a little bitter and is also good for our health.

“dark chocolates”应为不可数名词“dark chocolate”；“takes a little bit bitter”错误，应为“tastes a little bitter”；“also good”缺主语，应加“is”。

× What's more, umm, the dark chocolate also is delicious.

✓ What's more, umm, dark chocolate is also delicious.

“the dark chocolate”可省略定冠词；“also is”调整为“is also”更自然。

× Yes, I do think that is very good choice to use chocolate as a gift.

✓ Yes, I do think that it is a very good choice to use chocolate as a gift.

缺少代词“it”作为形式主语；“very good choice”前需加不定冠词“a”。

× Firstly, the chocolate is not very expensive and is affordable for everyone to buy.

✓ Firstly, chocolate is not very expensive and is affordable for everyone to buy.

泛指巧克力时不加定冠词“the”。

× What's more, it's easy to purchase in the supermarket or in the stores.

✓ What's more, it's easy to purchase at the supermarket or in stores.

“in the supermarket”应为“at the supermarket”；“in the stores”改为“in stores”更自然。

× And finally, chocolate is delicious and so many people like it.

✓ And finally, chocolate is delicious, so many people like it.

句中缺少逗号连接两个独立分句。