Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and incomplete sentences. Make your answer more natural and concise by directly stating your preference and reason. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I like eating dark chocolate because it helps me stay awake and gives me energy when I feel sleepy.

提案: Avoid grammatical errors and unclear phrases like 'craving of like a sweater.' Be clear and concise, and use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I usually eat chocolate about twice a week, especially when I need to stay awake or satisfy a sweet craving.

提案: Focus on clear sentence structure and avoid repetition. Use past tense consistently and provide specific details to enrich your answer.

例: When I was a kid, I often asked my parents to buy me chocolate because I didn't have money. I enjoyed eating it whenever I had the chance.

提案: Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Provide a clear and complete explanation with relevant examples, using linking words to connect ideas.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because people often give it as a gift to show love and care, such as a boyfriend giving chocolate to his girlfriend.

提案: Use correct grammar and avoid repetition. Make your answer concise and clear, linking your favourite flavour to reasons why you like it.

例: My favourite flavour is Dairy Milk chocolate because it tastes sweet and helps me boost my energy when I have a sweet craving.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons why chocolate is a good gift.

例: Yes, chocolate is a great gift because it is affordable, especially for students like me, and it makes the recipient feel special.

× I only like to eat dark chocolate because, uh, whenever I want to need some energy and I feel sleepy at that time, I buy some dark chocolates and eat it.

✓ I only like to eat dark chocolate because, uh, whenever I want or need some energy and I feel sleepy at that time, I buy some dark chocolate and eat it.

The phrase 'want to need' is incorrect; 'want or need' should be used to express alternative desires. Also, 'dark chocolates' should be singular 'dark chocolate' when referring to the substance in general, and 'eat it' correctly refers to the singular 'dark chocolate'.

× I buy some dark chocolates and eat it.

✓ I buy some dark chocolate and eat it.

The word 'chocolates' is plural, but 'it' is singular, causing inconsistency. 'Dark chocolate' as a substance is uncountable and should be singular to match 'it'.

× Help me to. Help me to stay awake.

✓ It helps me to stay awake.

The original sentence fragments lack a subject and verb, making them incomplete. Adding 'It helps me to stay awake' forms a complete and grammatically correct sentence.

× Oh I whenever I need to stay awake and feel craving of like a sweater at that time I love to eat chocolate.

✓ Oh, whenever I need to stay awake and feel a craving for something sweet, I love to eat chocolate.

The original sentence is awkward and lacks proper structure. Adding commas and correcting 'feel craving of like a sweater' to 'feel a craving for something sweet' improves clarity and grammar.

× About twice a week I eat this chocolate.

✓ About twice a week I eat this chocolate.

No correction needed here; the sentence is grammatically correct.

× I will remember that when I was a kid, I was like crying for that chocolate for my parents because at that time I don't have any money.

✓ I remember that when I was a kid, I used to cry for chocolate to my parents because at that time I didn't have any money.

'Will remember' is incorrect for past recollection; 'remember' or 'used to' is appropriate. Also, 'don't have' should be past tense 'didn't have' to match the past context.

× So I requested to my parents to buy me, bought me a chocolate for me.

✓ So I asked my parents to buy me a chocolate.

The verb 'request' does not require 'to' after it in this context; 'asked' is more natural. Also, 'bought me a chocolate for me' is redundant; 'buy me a chocolate' suffices.

× And I whenever I get a chance, I eat chocolate when I was a kid.

✓ And whenever I got a chance, I ate chocolate when I was a kid.

The sentence mixes present tense 'get' and 'eat' with past time 'when I was a kid'. All verbs should be in past tense to maintain consistency.

× Chocolate is really popular all over the world because whenever, uh, any person want to gift anybody like a boyfriend, give a chocolate to his girlfriend for the love and it show also caring and love.

✓ Chocolate is really popular all over the world because whenever, uh, any person wants to gift somebody, like a boyfriend giving chocolate to his girlfriend for love, it also shows caring and love.

The verb 'want' should be 'wants' to agree with the singular subject 'any person'. Also, 'give' should be 'giving' to fit the sentence structure, and 'show' should be 'shows' to agree with singular subject 'it'.

× Whenever we give chocolate to somebody and it's a it's a.

✓ Whenever we give chocolate to somebody, it is a meaningful gesture.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. Completing the sentence with a meaningful phrase improves clarity and correctness.

× I like to eat Dairy Milk chocolate because it's sweeter in taste and it's so it's also help me to boost energy and stay awake whenever I am.

✓ I like to eat Dairy Milk chocolate because it's sweeter in taste and it also helps me to boost energy and stay awake whenever I am tired.

'It's so it's also help' is incorrect; it should be 'it also helps' to agree with singular subject. Adding 'tired' clarifies the context.

× I'm having had a craving of a sweetheart so I bought a chocolate and it helped me to stay awake.

✓ When I have a craving for something sweet, I buy chocolate and it helps me to stay awake.

The original sentence mixes tenses awkwardly. Using present tense 'have' and 'buy' fits better for habitual actions. Also, 'craving of a sweetheart' should be 'craving for something sweet'.

× Yes, gifting chocolate to someone other like our loved ones is really good.

✓ Yes, gifting chocolate to someone else, like our loved ones, is really good.

The phrase 'someone other' is incorrect; 'someone else' is the correct expression. Adding commas improves readability.

× It's also cheap. Cheap and affordable for like I am a student so it's not very expensive so I can buy some chocolate from my loved ones and we also feel special whenever I give some chocolates to my friends.

✓ It's also cheap and affordable. Since I am a student, it's not very expensive, so I can buy some chocolate for my loved ones, and we also feel special whenever I give chocolates to my friends.

The original sentence is fragmented and repetitive. Combining sentences and correcting 'buy some chocolate from my loved ones' to 'buy some chocolate for my loved ones' improves grammar and clarity.