Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to avoid repeating similar ideas and improve sentence structure. For example, instead of saying 'One of the main reason of liking chocolate is that it I feel like it gives me energy,' say 'One main reason I like chocolate is that it gives me energy.' Also, avoid unnecessary repetition like 'I love sweet things' after saying you are a sweet lover.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because I am a sweet lover. One main reason I enjoy chocolate is that it gives me energy and helps me feel relieved. Whenever I feel stressed, I usually eat chocolate to feel better.

提案: Your answer is understandable but has some awkward phrasing and redundancy. Try to use clearer expressions and avoid repeating the same idea. For example, instead of 'sometimes I feel numb and that in that moment I eat chocolate,' say 'sometimes I feel low, so I eat chocolate to boost my energy.' Also, avoid repeating 'every day' multiple times.

例: I eat chocolate very often, almost every day. Sometimes when I feel low, I eat chocolate to boost my energy and feel better.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and could be more concise. For example, 'I ate chocolate when I were a kid' should be 'I ate chocolate when I was a kid.' Also, avoid unnecessary details like 'I still remember once a story.' Instead, focus on clear and direct answers with supporting details.

例: Yes, I ate chocolate often when I was a kid. I used to ask my mom for chocolates after school, but she often scolded me for eating too much. I was very fond of chocolate and still enjoy it now.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some unclear phrases and grammar errors. For example, 'it doesn't have any limitations' is vague; you could say 'it appeals to people of all ages.' Also, 'children are addicted to it so' is incomplete. Try to use clearer and more precise language.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it appeals to people of all ages. For instance, dark chocolate has health benefits for older people, while children enjoy its sweet taste.

提案: Your answer has some vocabulary and grammar issues. For example, 'diet fruits' is unclear, and 'makes the structure more juicy and gravy' is incorrect. Try to use more appropriate words and clearer descriptions. Also, avoid filler words like 'Yeah.'

例: My favorite flavor of chocolate is vanilla mixed with nuts, caramel, and dried fruits. This combination makes the chocolate rich and flavorful.

提案: Your answer is understandable but has grammatical errors and could be more concise. For example, 'it is a really best gift' should be 'it is a really good gift.' Also, avoid repeating 'chocolate' unnecessarily and improve sentence flow.

例: Yes, chocolate is a great gift for occasions like birthdays or celebrations. Especially for children or chocolate lovers, it is a thoughtful and enjoyable present.

× One of the main reason of liking chocolate is that it I feel like it gives me energy and after having chocolates I feel energetic and relieved.

✓ One of the main reasons for liking chocolate is that I feel like it gives me energy and after having chocolate I feel energetic and relieved.

The phrase 'one of the main reason' should be 'one of the main reasons' because 'one of' is followed by a plural noun. Also, 'of liking chocolate' should be 'for liking chocolate' to use the correct preposition. 'Chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' when referring to the substance in general.

× Whenever I was in stressful situations, I usually eat chocolate.

✓ Whenever I was in stressful situations, I usually ate chocolate.

The sentence mixes past and present tense. Since 'was' is past tense, 'eat' should be changed to past tense 'ate' to maintain tense consistency.

× One of the main reason of liking chocolate is that it I feel like it gives me energy and after having chocolates I feel energetic and relieved.

✓ One of the main reasons for liking chocolate is that I feel like it gives me energy and after having chocolate I feel energetic and relieved.

The preposition 'of' after 'reason' is incorrect; it should be 'for' to indicate the cause or purpose.

× After having chocolates I feel energetic and relieved.

✓ After having chocolate I feel energetic and relieved.

When referring to chocolate in general, the uncountable noun 'chocolate' should be used instead of the plural 'chocolates'.

× I can even say that I eat chocolate every day, because sometimes I feel numb and that in that moment I eat chocolate.

✓ I can even say that I eat chocolate every day, because sometimes I feel numb and at that moment I eat chocolate.

The phrase 'in that moment' is better expressed as 'at that moment' to indicate a specific point in time.

× So yeah, every day I take chocolate.

✓ So yeah, every day I eat chocolate.

The verb 'take' is less appropriate here; 'eat' is the correct verb to describe consuming chocolate.

× Oh yes, I ate chocolate when I were a kid.

✓ Oh yes, I ate chocolate when I was a kid.

The subject 'I' requires the verb 'was' in past tense, not 'were'.

× I still remember once a story that after my school I used to go with my mom and ask for chocolates and my mom easily rebuked me for having chocolate every day.

✓ I still remember a story that after school I used to go with my mom and ask for chocolates, and my mom easily rebuked me for having chocolate every day.

The phrase 'after my school' should be 'after school' without 'my'. Also, a comma is needed before 'and' to separate clauses.

× Especially for the children who loves chocolate or the person who are addicted to chocolate, I think it is the best way to present a gift to them.

✓ Especially for the children who love chocolate or the people who are addicted to chocolate, I think it is the best way to present a gift to them.

The relative pronouns must agree in number with their antecedents: 'children who love' (plural) and 'people who are' (plural). 'Person' should be plural 'people' to match 'are addicted'.

× Oh yes, it is a really best gift to give someone in the occasions of their birthday or any ceremony.

✓ Oh yes, it is really the best gift to give someone on occasions like their birthday or any ceremony.

The phrase 'a really best gift' is incorrect; 'really the best gift' is correct. Also, 'in the occasions of' should be 'on occasions like' for natural expression.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is vanilla with mixture of nuts, caramel, diet fruits.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is vanilla with a mixture of nuts, caramel, and dried fruits.

The phrase 'mixture of nuts, caramel, diet fruits' needs an article 'a' before 'mixture' and 'diet fruits' should be 'dried fruits' for correct meaning.

× Yeah, it makes the structure more juicy and gravy.

✓ Yeah, it makes the texture more juicy and creamy.

'Structure' is incorrect here; 'texture' is appropriate. 'Gravy' is a noun unrelated to taste or texture; 'creamy' is the correct adjective.