Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add one or two specific reasons using linking words for coherence. Avoid redundant phrases like 'some magic magical power' and 'some speciality'.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it satisfies my sweet cravings and improves my mood. Moreover, compared to other sweets, chocolate has a unique taste that I really enjoy.

提案: Focus on clarity and grammatical accuracy. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repeated words. Keep your answer within 4-5 sentences.

例: I usually eat chocolate once or twice a week whenever I get the chance. I don't prefer eating it daily because it might lose its appeal if consumed too often.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence and add specific supporting details using linking words. Try to be more precise and avoid filler words.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child because, like many kids, I loved its sweet taste. I used to eagerly wait for my father to bring chocolates home, which made me very happy.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using linking words and avoiding repetition of 'I think'. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and keep sentences concise.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste and smooth, melt-in-the-mouth texture. Additionally, it helps people feel relaxed and happy, which adds to its appeal.

提案: Avoid repeating the same idea and improve grammar. Use linking words to connect your points and be specific about your preferences.

例: My favourite flavour is white chocolate because it gives me a sense of relaxation and satisfaction. I also enjoy dark and creamy chocolates occasionally.

提案: Make your answer more concise and avoid repeating 'I think'. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide a clear reason.

例: Yes, giving chocolates is a good gift idea because it symbolizes love and affection. In many countries, people often give chocolates to their loved ones to express their feelings.

× I like eating chocolate because I'm a person who loves eating chocolate in a monthly or weekly basis because I think they're chocolate have some magic magical power or some some speciality when compared to other sweets because it can really satisfy me and enhance my mood.

✓ I like eating chocolate because I'm a person who loves eating chocolate on a monthly or weekly basis because I think chocolate has some magical power or some speciality when compared to other sweets because it can really satisfy me and enhance my mood.

The phrase 'in a monthly or weekly basis' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on' for time expressions like 'on a weekly basis'. 'They're chocolate' is incorrect because 'they're' means 'they are', which does not fit here; it should be 'chocolate has' to agree with the singular noun 'chocolate'. Also, 'magic magical power' is redundant; 'magical power' suffices. These corrections improve singular/plural agreement and preposition use.

× I'm not a person who do eat chocolate more often, but I would rather eat chocolate once or twice in a week, uh, whenever I get get it.

✓ I'm not a person who does eat chocolate very often, but I would rather eat chocolate once or twice a week, uh, whenever I get it.

The relative clause 'who do eat' is incorrect because the subject 'who' refers to 'person' (singular), so the verb should be 'does' not 'do'. Also, 'in a week' is better expressed as 'a week' without 'in'. Removing the repeated 'get' also corrects redundancy.

× I think that I'm not a person who would love to eat it on a daily basis because it, it will be not that much entertaining to eat daily.

✓ I think that I'm not a person who would love to eat it on a daily basis because it would not be that entertaining to eat daily.

The phrase 'will be not that much entertaining' is awkward; 'would not be that entertaining' fits better with the conditional mood implied by 'would love'. This corrects modal verb usage and improves sentence fluency.

× I had eaten many of the chocolates and I was waiting for my father to bring me chocolates and I think that that was the reason for me.

✓ I ate many chocolates and I was waiting for my father to bring me chocolates and I think that was the reason for me.

The past perfect 'had eaten' is unnecessary here because the simple past 'ate' suffices to describe past habitual action. Also, 'many of the chocolates' is better as 'many chocolates' for general reference. This correction aligns tense usage appropriately.

× I think chocolate is popular around the world due to its taste and melting in mouth texture and I think most of the people would love eating chocolate because it can make them feel relaxed and make them feel happy.

✓ I think chocolate is popular around the world due to its taste and melting-in-the-mouth texture and I think most people would love eating chocolate because it can make them feel relaxed and happy.

The phrase 'melting in mouth texture' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'melting-in-the-mouth texture' using hyphens to form a compound adjective. Also, 'most of the people' is better as 'most people' for general statements. These corrections improve preposition and article usage.

× My favorite flavor in chocolate is white chocolate and I do prefer eating white chocolate or dark and creamy chocolate because white chocolate give me a sense of relaxation and satisfying when compared to the other ones.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is white chocolate and I do prefer eating white chocolate or dark and creamy chocolate because white chocolate gives me a sense of relaxation and satisfaction when compared to the others.

The phrase 'flavor in chocolate' should be 'flavor of chocolate'. The verb 'give' must agree with singular subject 'white chocolate', so it should be 'gives'. 'Satisfying' is an adjective; the noun 'satisfaction' fits better here. 'The other ones' is better as 'the others' for conciseness.

× Yes, I think so, because giving chocolates is a form of showing love towards them and I think that in majority of the countries around the world, people used to give their loved ones chocolate in the sense of showing love.

✓ Yes, I think so, because giving chocolates is a form of showing love to them and I think that in the majority of countries around the world, people give their loved ones chocolate as a way of showing love.

The preposition 'towards' is less appropriate here; 'to' is the correct preposition after 'showing love'. Also, 'in majority of the countries' should be 'in the majority of countries'. 'Used to give' implies past habit; since this is a general statement, 'give' is better. 'In the sense of' is better expressed as 'as a way of' for clarity.