Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct grammar and more natural expressions. For example, say 'I like eating chocolate because it tastes sweet and it improves my mood.' Also, avoid redundancy and keep sentences clear and concise.

例: I like eating chocolate because it tastes sweet and it improves my mood.

提案: Use correct prepositions and verb forms, and link ideas smoothly. For example, say 'I eat chocolate twice a week, which I think is not too much compared to others. However, my parents don't like me eating chocolate because they worry it might affect my health negatively.'

例: I eat chocolate twice a week, which I think is not too much compared to others. However, my parents don't like me eating chocolate because they worry it might affect my health negatively.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. For example, say 'Yes, I enjoyed eating chocolate as a child. I always preferred sweeter foods, such as jelly and gummies, not just chocolate.'

例: Yes, I enjoyed eating chocolate as a child. I always preferred sweeter foods, such as jelly and gummies, not just chocolate.

提案: Provide a more developed answer with linking words and correct grammar. For example, say 'Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is sweet, and sweet foods tend to make people feel happy and improve their mood.'

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is sweet, and sweet foods tend to make people feel happy and improve their mood.

提案: Use comparative forms correctly and avoid incomplete sentences. For example, say 'I love white chocolate because it is sweeter than other flavours and has a milky, soft texture. However, I don't like dark chocolate because it is a bit bitter.'

例: I love white chocolate because it is sweeter than other flavours and has a milky, soft texture. However, I don't like dark chocolate because it is a bit bitter.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. For example, say 'Yes, giving chocolate as a gift is a good idea because although some people don't like chocolate, most people enjoy sweet treats like chocolate.'

例: Yes, giving chocolate as a gift is a good idea because although some people don't like chocolate, most people enjoy sweet treats like chocolate.

× I like eating chocolate because it eats sweet and make my mood can be better than before.

✓ I like eating chocolate because it tastes sweet and makes my mood better than before.

The verb 'eat' is incorrectly used instead of 'taste' to describe the flavour of chocolate. Also, 'make my mood can be better' is incorrect; it should be 'makes my mood better' to correctly express the effect on mood using the third person singular verb form and proper adjective usage.

× I eat chocolate twice in a week.

✓ I eat chocolate twice a week.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; the correct expression is 'twice a week' to indicate frequency.

× I think this is not too much than others, but my parents don't like eating chocolate because they worried about my health become worse than before.

✓ I think this is not too much compared to others, but my parents don't like eating chocolate because they are worried that my health might become worse than before.

The phrase 'not too much than others' is incorrect; 'compared to others' is appropriate. Also, 'worried about my health become worse' lacks proper verb forms and modal verbs; it should be 'worried that my health might become worse' to express concern properly.

× When I was a kid I always preferred much sweeter food, not only chocolate, always eating the Jelly and some gummies when I was.

✓ When I was a kid, I always preferred much sweeter food, not only chocolate; I always ate jelly and some gummies.

The phrase 'always eating the Jelly and some gummies when I was' is incomplete and incorrect. It should be 'I always ate jelly and some gummies' to correctly use the past tense verb and complete the sentence.

× Sweet things makes everyone happy, and when they eat sweet things those their mood will be happier.

✓ Sweet things make everyone happy, and when they eat sweet things, their mood will be happier.

The subject 'Sweet things' is plural, so the verb should be 'make' not 'makes'. Also, 'those their mood' is incorrect; it should be simply 'their mood'.

× I love white chocolate flavor because it is sweet than other flavor and it is very Milky and soft.

✓ I love white chocolate flavor because it is sweeter than other flavors and it is very milky and soft.

The comparative form 'sweeter' is needed instead of 'sweet than'. Also, 'Milky' should be lowercase 'milky' as it is an adjective, and 'flavor' should be plural 'flavors' to match the comparison.

× But dark chocolate is a bit so I don't like dark chocolate.

✓ But dark chocolate is a bit bitter, so I don't like dark chocolate.

The phrase 'is a bit so' is incomplete and unclear. Adding an adjective like 'bitter' clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.

× Yes, it is very good to give chocolate as gifts to others because there are some people doesn't like chocolate, but almost people like sweet things such as chocolate.

✓ Yes, it is very good to give chocolate as gifts to others because some people don't like chocolate, but most people like sweet things such as chocolate.

'There are some people doesn't like' is incorrect; it should be 'some people don't like'. Also, 'almost people' is incorrect; 'most people' is the correct quantifier here.