Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some irrelevant or incorrect details, such as mentioning 'bananas' and 'maynards' as types of chocolates and 'useful for my mentor' which seems unrelated. Try to give a clear and natural response directly addressing the question, and avoid redundancy or confusing phrases.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it helps me relax and reduce stress, especially when I am preparing for exams. I enjoy different types, like dark chocolate and milk chocolate, which taste delicious and make me feel better.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a clear frequency and explain your reason logically. Also, avoid contradictory statements like saying chocolate benefits your body but limiting eating it due to fitness. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually eat chocolate twice a week because I want to maintain my fitness and health. Since I am often busy and not at home, I don't have many chances to enjoy chocolate more often.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but a bit long and could be more concise. Try to use linking words like 'because' and 'so' properly to connect your ideas. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas and check grammar for smoother sentences.

例: No, I didn't eat chocolate often as a kid because my mom believed it was unhealthy. She encouraged me to eat more vegetables instead, and I didn't have much freedom to buy snacks on my own.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Avoid unfinished sentences and make sure your ideas are fully expressed. Also, use correct grammar and linking words to explain your opinion clearly. Try to give more general reasons why chocolate is popular worldwide.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes good and many companies advertise it on social media. For example, I was attracted by an ad from Royce Chocolate, which offers many different flavors.

提案: Your answer has some unclear phrases like 'green tea is scenery' and grammatical errors. Try to explain your favourite flavour clearly and give reasons using correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is green tea because it tastes unique and is healthier compared to other flavours. However, it is not easy to find green tea chocolate in supermarkets, which makes it special to me.

提案: Your answer is generally relevant but contains some awkward phrases like 'show our scenery love'. Try to use natural expressions and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and be more specific about why chocolate is a good gift.

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a great gift, especially on Valentine's Day. Many people see it as a romantic way to express their feelings to their loved ones, making it a popular and thoughtful present.

× Yes, I love eating various types of chocolates such as bananas, strawberry, maynards and much more because I think it helps me to relax my stress and manage my negative emotions when I have to prepare the upcoming examination.

✓ Yes, I love eating various types of chocolate such as banana, strawberry, Maynards and much more because I think it helps me to relax my stress and manage my negative emotions when I have to prepare for the upcoming examination.

The word 'chocolates' should be 'chocolate' when referring to types or kinds in general. Also, 'bananas' should be singular 'banana' to match the pattern of listing flavors or types. 'Maynards' is a brand name and should be capitalized. Additionally, 'prepare the upcoming examination' needs the preposition 'for' to be correct.

× Yes, I love eating various types of chocolates such as bananas, strawberry, maynards and much more because I think it helps me to relax my stress and manage my negative emotions when I have to prepare the upcoming examination.

✓ Yes, I love eating various types of chocolate such as banana, strawberry, Maynards and much more because I think it helps me to relax my stress and manage my negative emotions when I have to prepare for the upcoming examination.

The verb 'prepare' requires the preposition 'for' when referring to an event or examination. So, 'prepare the upcoming examination' should be 'prepare for the upcoming examination'.

× I eat chocolate twice a week because I have to concentrate on my fitness and physical health and I do not have enough time to stay at home.

✓ I eat chocolate twice a week because I have to concentrate on my fitness and physical health and I do not have enough time to stay at home.

No correction needed for singular/plural in this sentence.

× I eat chocolate twice a week because I have to concentrate on my fitness and physical health and I do not have enough time to stay at home.

✓ I eat chocolate twice a week because I have to concentrate on my fitness and physical health and I do not have enough time to stay at home.

No preposition error in this sentence.

× So it is difficult for me to enjoy the chocolate at home and I think it is benefits for my body.

✓ So it is difficult for me to enjoy chocolate at home and I think it is beneficial for my body.

The phrase 'the chocolate' is unnecessary; 'chocolate' is uncountable here. Also, 'it is benefits' is incorrect; the adjective 'beneficial' should be used instead of the noun 'benefits'.

× So it is difficult for me to enjoy the chocolate at home and I think it is benefits for my body.

✓ So it is difficult for me to enjoy chocolate at home and I think it is beneficial for my body.

'Benefits' is a noun, but here an adjective is needed to describe 'it'. The correct adjective is 'beneficial'.

× No because my mom thought that it is unhealthy for our physical health and she wanted me to eat a healthy food and vegetable instead of chocolate and I do not have enough freedom when I was a kid so I cannot buy any snacks and chocolate as well.

✓ No, because my mom thought that it was unhealthy for our physical health and she wanted me to eat healthy food and vegetables instead of chocolate. Also, I did not have enough freedom when I was a kid, so I could not buy any snacks or chocolate as well.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'It is unhealthy' should be 'it was unhealthy' to match past tense 'thought'. 'Healthy food and vegetable' should be plural 'vegetables'. 'I do not have' should be 'I did not have' to maintain past tense. 'Cannot' should be 'could not' for past ability. Also, sentence structure is improved by splitting into two sentences.

× No because my mom thought that it is unhealthy for our physical health and she wanted me to eat a healthy food and vegetable instead of chocolate and I do not have enough freedom when I was a kid so I cannot buy any snacks and chocolate as well.

✓ No, because my mom thought that it was unhealthy for our physical health and she wanted me to eat healthy food and vegetables instead of chocolate. Also, I did not have enough freedom when I was a kid, so I could not buy any snacks or chocolate as well.

The verb tenses should be consistent in past tense when talking about childhood. 'Is' should be 'was', 'do not have' should be 'did not have', and 'cannot' should be 'could not'.

× I think the main reason is and the advertisements which promotes it in the social media.

✓ I think the main reason is the advertisements which promote it on social media.

The sentence has an incomplete phrase 'is and the advertisements'. It should be 'is the advertisements'. Also, 'promotes' should be 'promote' to agree with plural 'advertisements'. 'In the social media' should be 'on social media'.

× I think the main reason is and the advertisements which promotes it in the social media.

✓ I think the main reason is the advertisements which promote it on social media.

'Advertisements' is plural, so the verb should be 'promote' not 'promotes'.

× I think the main reason is and the advertisements which promotes it in the social media.

✓ I think the main reason is the advertisements which promote it on social media.

'In the social media' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on social media'.

× In my experience, I was attracted by an advertisement which is Bluetooth by Royce Chocolate.

✓ In my experience, I was attracted by an advertisement called Bluetooth by Royce Chocolate.

The phrase 'which is Bluetooth' is awkward. 'Called Bluetooth' is more natural to describe the advertisement's name.

× It is a chocolate brand and have different flavors of chocolate and.

✓ It is a chocolate brand and has different flavors of chocolate.

The verb 'have' should be 'has' to agree with singular subject 'It'. The sentence ends abruptly with 'and.' which should be removed.

× I would like to say green tea because green tea is scenery and it is healthy for my bodies as well.

✓ I would like to say green tea because green tea is refreshing and it is healthy for my body as well.

The word 'scenery' is a noun meaning landscape, which is incorrect here. The intended adjective is likely 'refreshing'. Also, 'bodies' should be singular 'body'.

× I would like to say green tea because green tea is scenery and it is healthy for my bodies as well.

✓ I would like to say green tea because green tea is refreshing and it is healthy for my body as well.

'Bodies' should be singular 'body' when referring to oneself.

× And I think green tea favorite is difficult to buy in the supermarket so I would like to choose this favorite.

✓ And I think green tea flavor is difficult to buy in the supermarket, so I would like to choose this flavor.

'Green tea favorite' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'green tea flavor'. Also, 'favorite' is a noun or adjective but here 'flavor' is appropriate.

× And I think green tea favorite is difficult to buy in the supermarket so I would like to choose this favorite.

✓ And I think green tea flavor is difficult to buy at the supermarket, so I would like to choose this flavor.

The correct preposition with 'supermarket' is 'at' rather than 'in'.

× Yes, especially for Valentine's Day, because many people believe that chocolate is a good expression of our feelings to our lovers.

✓ Yes, especially for Valentine's Day, because many people believe that chocolate is a good expression of their feelings to their lovers.

The pronouns should be consistent and general; 'our' is replaced with 'their' to refer to people in general.

× They think it is romantic to give the chocolate to our lover and show our scenery love to them, so it is a good idea.

✓ They think it is romantic to give chocolate to their lover and show their sincere love to them, so it is a good idea.

'Our' should be 'their' for general statements. 'Scenery love' is incorrect; the intended phrase is 'sincere love'.