Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like 'in our educational aspects'. Use linking words to connect ideas clearly. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then explain why you like chocolate with specific reasons.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious. Moreover, I often eat it when I feel stressed while studying, as it helps me relax and feel better.

提案: Your answer is confusing and contradictory. Be clear and consistent about how often you eat chocolate. Also, avoid unsupported health claims unless you explain them. Use linking words to clarify your frequency.

例: I usually eat chocolate a few times a week because I enjoy its taste, but I try not to eat it every day to stay healthy.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Make your answer more coherent by using linking words and finishing your thoughts. Be specific about your childhood experience.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child because it was exciting and special to me. However, as I grew older, it became a more common treat.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many hesitations. Try to express your opinion clearly and use complete sentences. Explain why chocolate is popular with specific reasons and linking words.

例: In my opinion, chocolate is popular worldwide because it has a unique and delicious taste that many people enjoy.

提案: Be clear and concise. Avoid mixing brand names and flavours confusingly. Use linking words to explain your preference and avoid unsupported health claims.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is milk chocolate with cashew nuts because I enjoy the creamy taste and the crunchy texture.

提案: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to express your opinion clearly with reasons and examples. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

例: I think chocolate can be a good gift for some people, but not for everyone. For example, it might not be suitable as a gift for an ex-lover, so we should consider the person before choosing chocolate as a gift.

× Yes, I usually prefer to eat chocolates a lot because it's really tasty and we can use chocolate when we are getting bored in our educational aspects.

✓ Yes, I usually prefer to eat chocolate a lot because it's really tasty and we can use chocolate when we are getting bored in our educational aspects.

The word 'chocolates' is plural, but here it refers to chocolate in general as a substance, so the singular 'chocolate' is appropriate. Using 'chocolate' as an uncountable noun fits better in this context.

× we can use chocolate when we are getting bored in our educational aspects.

✓ we can use chocolate when we are getting bored with our educational activities.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'bored with' is the correct collocation. Also, 'educational aspects' is vague; 'educational activities' is clearer and more natural.

× Like when we are studying, we are getting stressed and we can use chocolate as a stress release medicine.

✓ Like when we are studying, we get stressed and we can use chocolate as a stress-relief medicine.

The phrase 'stress release medicine' is incorrect; the correct adjective form is 'stress-relief'. Also, 'we are getting stressed' is better as 'we get stressed' for habitual action.

× I eat chocolate twice a month or. Like once a day or sometimes every day I eat chocolate because it's really good for our health.

✓ I eat chocolate twice a month or sometimes once a day because it's really good for our health.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Or' is incorrectly used. The correction combines the ideas clearly and removes unnecessary 'or'.

× because when we are in our when we are in our childhood, mostly we are, we are getting excited about chocolates because it's new for us in childhood, but day by day it's really a common thing for.

✓ because when we were in our childhood, we mostly got excited about chocolate because it was new for us, but day by day it became a common thing.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. Since childhood is in the past, past tense verbs 'were', 'got', and 'became' should be used. Also, 'chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' as a general substance.

× I in my opinion that I realized that mostly chocolate is really famous because of it and it it it having really like unique taste in various.

✓ In my opinion, I realize that chocolate is really famous because it has a unique taste in various forms.

The sentence has redundant pronouns and unclear structure. 'I in my opinion that I realized' is incorrect; 'In my opinion, I realize' is correct. Also, 'it it it having' is incorrect; 'it has' is correct.

× I usually prefer to eat cashew nuts and also daily milk brand and because I mostly love the flavor of milkiness and it's really tasty and also it's really good for our health also.

✓ I usually prefer to eat cashew nuts and the Daily Milk brand because I mostly love the milky flavor; it's really tasty and also good for our health.

'Daily milk brand' should be 'Daily Milk brand' as a proper noun. 'Flavor of milkiness' is awkward; 'milky flavor' is better. Also, 'also' is repeated unnecessarily.

× It depends on card different kinds of people because in my opinion I think chocolate is not a gift for everyone because sometimes we are giving a gift for our ex lover or something for our for my our friends.

✓ It depends on different kinds of people because, in my opinion, I think chocolate is not a gift for everyone since sometimes we give gifts to our ex-lovers or to our friends.

'Depends on card different kinds of people' is incorrect; 'depends on different kinds of people' is correct. Also, 'giving a gift for' should be 'giving gifts to'. The sentence is restructured for clarity.