Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer clearer and more concise. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like "I know it's the merits or merits." Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I love eating chocolate because I have a sweet tooth. However, I usually prefer to eat it only on weekends or special occasions to avoid eating too much sugar.

提案: Avoid repeating information and unclear phrases like "it's merits or demerits." Use linking words to explain your reasoning clearly and keep your answer concise.

例: I usually eat chocolate on weekends or special occasions because I know that consuming it in moderation is important to stay healthy.

提案: Avoid informal expressions like "goldfish memory" and incomplete sentences. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words.

例: I don't remember much about my childhood, but I think I didn't eat much chocolate because my parents warned me that eating it regularly could be harmful.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste. Additionally, people often eat chocolate during special occasions, such as birthdays or celebrations, which makes it even more popular.

提案: Try to avoid unclear or confusing phrases and focus on clear, concise sentences. Use linking words to explain your preference and provide specific details.

例: I like many types of chocolate, but my favourite flavour is vanilla chocolate because it tastes delicious. A friend introduced me to it, and since then, it has become my personal favourite.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid redundancy. Also, be careful with grammar to make your answer more natural.

例: Definitely, I think chocolate makes a great gift because it symbolizes love. Many people enjoy receiving chocolate on special occasions, and giving it can help strengthen relationships.

× Frankly speaking as I have sweet tooth, I love chocolates but often I used to prefer to have a chocolate on like the weekends or any special occasion.

✓ Frankly speaking, as I have a sweet tooth, I love chocolates but often I prefer to have chocolate on weekends or any special occasion.

The phrase 'sweet tooth' requires the indefinite article 'a' before it. Also, 'used to prefer' is incorrect here; 'prefer' is sufficient to express habitual action. 'A chocolate' is unnecessary when referring to chocolate in general; 'chocolate' is uncountable here. 'On like the weekends' is incorrect; it should be 'on weekends'. Suggestions: Use 'a sweet tooth', remove 'used to' before 'prefer', use 'chocolate' without 'a' when referring to the substance, and say 'on weekends' without 'like' or 'the'.

× As he already mentioned that I prefer to have a chocolate on weekends or any special occasion because I know it's merits or demerits that I have to consume chocolate in a specific amount so that it won't be harmful for me.

✓ As I already mentioned, I prefer to have chocolate on weekends or any special occasion because I know its merits and demerits, so I have to consume chocolate in a specific amount so that it won't be harmful to me.

The pronoun 'he' is incorrect because the speaker is referring to themselves; it should be 'I'. 'It's merits or demerits' is incorrect; the possessive pronoun 'its' should be used, and 'merits and demerits' is the correct phrase. Also, 'harmful for me' should be 'harmful to me'. Suggestions: Use 'I' instead of 'he', use 'its merits and demerits', and say 'harmful to me'.

× If I hardly remember that I didn't consume a lot of chocolates in my childhood because my parents always told me that it it is very harmful for us if we are consuming on a regular basis, it would.

✓ I hardly remember, but I didn't consume a lot of chocolates in my childhood because my parents always told me that it is very harmful for us if we consume it on a regular basis.

The sentence structure is confusing and contains tense inconsistencies. 'If I hardly remember that' is incorrect; it should be 'I hardly remember'. 'It it is' is a repetition error. 'If we are consuming' should be 'if we consume' to express habitual action. The sentence should be simplified for clarity. Suggestions: Use 'I hardly remember', remove repeated words, and use simple present tense for habitual actions.

× I believe that chocolates are very popular because of their taste. Moreover, people like to have a chocolate on any special occasion like a birthday or day, or whenever they are so happy.

✓ I believe that chocolate is very popular because of its taste. Moreover, people like to have chocolate on any special occasion like a birthday or any special day, or whenever they are very happy.

'Chocolates' is plural but here 'chocolate' as a substance is more appropriate. 'A chocolate' is incorrect when referring to chocolate in general. 'Birthday or day' is incomplete; it should be 'birthday or any special day'. 'So happy' should be 'very happy' for correctness. Suggestions: Use 'chocolate' as uncountable noun, avoid 'a chocolate' unless referring to a piece, complete phrases like 'any special day', and use 'very happy'.

× Although I like number of chocolates, if I talk about the best chocolate which I like the most at is none other than the vanilla chocolate, it's only because of having a delicious taste.

✓ Although I like a number of chocolates, if I talk about the best chocolate that I like the most, it is none other than vanilla chocolate; it's only because it has a delicious taste.

The phrase 'number of chocolates' requires the article 'a' to be 'a number of chocolates'. 'Which I like the most at is' is incorrect; it should be 'that I like the most, it is'. 'Having a delicious taste' is awkward; 'it has a delicious taste' is correct. Suggestions: Use 'a number of', correct relative clause structure, and use 'it has a delicious taste'.

× I really remember that I was in this extended one of my friend GIF told me about this flavor and when I tried from the dad moment, it became my personal favorite chocolate.

✓ I really remember that I was with one of my friends when he told me about this flavor, and when I tried it at that moment, it became my personal favourite chocolate.

The original sentence is confusing and contains unclear phrases like 'extended one of my friend GIF' and 'tried from the dad moment'. These appear to be errors or mishearings. The corrected sentence clarifies the meaning with proper sentence structure and pronouns. Suggestions: Use clear subject and verb phrases, correct pronouns, and proper prepositions to clarify meaning.

× Definitely yes, as chocolates are also the symbol of love. As I told you most of the people like to have a chocolate on the special occasion. So it is very good idea that we if we are gifting a chocolate to others it also build up their relationship stronger.

✓ Definitely yes, as chocolates are also a symbol of love. As I told you, most people like to have chocolate on special occasions. So it is a very good idea that if we gift chocolates to others, it also builds up their relationships stronger.

'The symbol' should be 'a symbol' because it is one among many symbols. 'A chocolate' should be 'chocolate' when referring generally. 'The special occasion' should be 'special occasions' for generality. The sentence structure in the last sentence is incorrect; 'we if we are gifting' should be 'if we gift', and 'build up' should be 'builds up' to agree with singular subject 'it'. 'Relationship' should be plural 'relationships' to match 'others'. Suggestions: Use 'a symbol', remove 'a' before uncountable nouns, use plural for general occasions, correct sentence structure and subject-verb agreement, and pluralize 'relationships'.