Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite long and a bit repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and natural by focusing on the main reason and supporting it with one clear detail. Also, use correct grammar such as 'my teeth were broken' instead of 'my teeth was broken'.

例: I don't like eating chocolate because I ate too much as a child, which damaged my teeth. Therefore, I avoid it now to protect my dental health.

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and repetitive. Try to give a direct answer first, then explain briefly with linking words. Also, use correct verb forms and plural forms, for example, 'chocolates have' instead of 'chocolate have'.

例: I rarely eat chocolate, maybe once every six months, because I know it contains a lot of sugar, which is bad for my teeth and health.

提案: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and lacks clarity. Use past tense consistently and avoid unnecessary words. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, my parents used to buy me a lot of chocolate when I was a kid, and my cousin often shared some with me. However, I don't eat much chocolate now.

提案: Your answer is on the right track but could be clearer and more natural. Avoid repeating words and use linking phrases to improve coherence. Also, explain your ideas with more specific reasons.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it comes in various types, like dark and white chocolate, which can improve people's moods when they feel sad or disappointed.

提案: Your answer has some grammar errors and awkward phrasing. Use comparative forms correctly and be more specific. Also, avoid vague expressions like 'improve my taste'.

例: My favorite flavor is dark chocolate because it contains less sugar and has a richer, more bitter taste. I also think it's healthier than white chocolate.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammar mistakes. Try to organize your ideas clearly, use correct prepositions, and avoid redundancy. Also, explain why different shapes make chocolate a good gift.

例: Yes, chocolate makes a great gift because it can be shaped into various forms like hearts or stars, which can express different feelings and make the gift more special.

× I don't like eating chocolate because when I was a child I ate lots of chocolate so my teeth was broken and I hate chocolate very much because it tastes bad for my health and my teeth and I will not eat chocolate later.

✓ I don't like eating chocolate because when I was a child I ate lots of chocolate so my teeth were broken and I hate chocolate very much because it is bad for my health and my teeth and I will not eat chocolate later.

The verb 'was' is incorrect for the plural subject 'teeth'; it should be 'were' to agree in number (Past tense issue). Also, 'tastes bad for my health' is incorrect; 'is bad for my health' is correct because 'taste' refers to flavor, but the intended meaning is health impact, which requires 'is'.

× I seldom eat chocolate, maybe half a year and I will eat once because I seldom buy chocolate when I grow up because I know the chocolate have lots of sugar in it and it's bad for my teeth and my health, so I seldom eat.

✓ I seldom eat chocolate, maybe once every half a year, and I will eat it once because I seldom buy chocolate now that I have grown up because I know chocolate has lots of sugar in it and it's bad for my teeth and my health, so I seldom eat it.

The phrase 'maybe half a year and I will eat once' is unclear and needs rephrasing for clarity (Sentence structure errors). 'The chocolate have' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is singular or uncountable here, so 'has' is correct (Singular and plural issue). Also, 'when I grow up' should be 'now that I have grown up' to indicate completed action (Tense issue).

× Of course my parents was brought me lots of chocolate when I was a kid and my cousin will also share chocolate with me. So I ate lots of when I was a kid but now I'm not.

✓ Of course my parents brought me lots of chocolate when I was a kid and my cousin also shared chocolate with me. So I ate lots when I was a kid but now I don't.

'Parents was brought' is incorrect; 'parents' is plural and the past tense of 'bring' is 'brought' (Past tense issue and Subject-verb agreement). 'My cousin will also share' should be past tense 'shared' to match the time frame. 'I ate lots of' is incomplete; 'lots' should be followed by the object or just 'lots' alone. 'Now I'm not' is incomplete; it should be 'now I don't' to indicate not eating chocolate now.

× As we all know, chocolate can have dark chocolate and white chocolate. Different chocolate can bring people different moods. So chocolate around the world is popular is that they can change people's moods when they are sad, disappointed and other bad moods.

✓ As we all know, chocolate can be dark or white. Different chocolates can bring people different moods. So chocolate is popular around the world because it can change people's moods when they are sad, disappointed, or experiencing other bad feelings.

'Chocolate can have dark chocolate and white chocolate' is awkward; it should be 'chocolate can be dark or white' (Sentence structure errors). 'Different chocolate' should be plural 'different chocolates' (Singular and plural issue). The sentence 'So chocolate around the world is popular is that...' is ungrammatical and needs rephrasing for clarity.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate because it will less sugar and more bitter. It can improve my taste and also chocolate is more healthier than white chocolate.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate because it has less sugar and is more bitter. It can improve my taste, and also dark chocolate is healthier than white chocolate.

'Will less sugar' is incorrect; 'has less sugar' is correct (Incorrect use of quantifiers). 'More healthier' is redundant; 'healthier' alone is correct (Incorrect use of adjectives). Also, 'chocolate is more healthier' should specify 'dark chocolate' for clarity.

× Yes, this is a good to use chocolate to as a gift to others because we can use chocolate to make different shapes like heart, starch, circle, square and etcetera. So different shape can bring people different moves. So it's a good gift to share others.

✓ Yes, it is good to use chocolate as a gift for others because we can make chocolate into different shapes like hearts, stars, circles, squares, and so on. Different shapes can bring people different moods. So it's a good gift to share with others.

'This is a good to use chocolate to as a gift' is ungrammatical; it should be 'it is good to use chocolate as a gift' (Sentence structure errors). 'Starch' is incorrect; the intended word is 'star' (Incorrect use of adjectives). 'Different shape' should be plural 'different shapes' (Singular and plural issue). 'Different moves' should be 'different moods' (Incorrect use of adjectives). 'Share others' should be 'share with others' (Incorrect use of prepositions).