Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Та илүү байгалийн, үр дүнтэй хариулт өгөх хэрэгтэй. Жишээ нь, "Yes, I really like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and makes me feel happy." гэж шууд хэлж, дараа нь дэмжих дэлгэрэнгүй мэдээлэл өгөөрэй.

例: Yes, I really like eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and makes me feel happy. For example, whenever I eat chocolate, it lifts my mood and gives me energy.

提案: Хариултаа илүү тодорхой, логик холбоотой болгох хэрэгтэй. Жишээ нь, "I eat chocolate only once a week, usually on Saturdays, because my mom taught me to limit sweets." гэж хэлж болно.

例: I eat chocolate only once a week, usually on Saturdays, because my mom taught me to limit sweets to stay healthy.

提案: Хариултаа илүү үр дүнтэй, давтагдаагүйгээр илэрхийлэх хэрэгтэй. Жишээ нь, "I didn't like chocolate much as a child because I tried dark chocolate once and didn't enjoy its bitter taste." гэж хэлж болно.

例: I didn't like chocolate much as a child because I tried dark chocolate once and didn't enjoy its bitter taste, so I avoided it for a long time.

提案: Хариултаа илүү тодорхой, логик холбоотой, утга агуулгатай болгох хэрэгтэй. Жишээ нь, "Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes good and has a long history as a favorite sweet." гэж хэлж болно.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes good and has a long history as a favorite sweet enjoyed by many cultures.

提案: Хариултаа илүү байгалийн, алдаагүй хэлбэрээр илэрхийлэх хэрэгтэй. Жишээ нь, "My favorite flavor is milk chocolate because it is sweeter and tastier than dark chocolate." гэж хэлж болно.

例: My favorite flavor is milk chocolate because it is sweeter and tastier than dark chocolate, which I find too bitter.

提案: Хариултаа илүү үр дүнтэй, логик холбоотой болгох хэрэгтэй. Жишээ нь, "Yes, chocolate is a good gift because it is popular on occasions like Valentine's Day when people exchange chocolates." гэж хэлж болно.

例: Yes, chocolate is a good gift because it is popular on occasions like Valentine's Day when people exchange chocolates to show their affection.

× Yes, I always keen on the chocolate.

✓ Yes, I am always keen on chocolate.

The verb 'keen' requires the verb 'to be' before it to form the correct expression 'am keen'. Also, 'the chocolate' is incorrect here because we are talking about chocolate in general, so the article 'the' should be omitted.

× I'm a huge fan of sweets such as the chocolate.

✓ I'm a huge fan of sweets such as chocolate.

When referring to chocolate in general, the definite article 'the' is not needed. Using 'the chocolate' implies a specific chocolate, which is not the case here.

× Umm chocolate brings the most umm beautiful taste so it brings me a joy and whenever I eat chocolate I became more happy.

✓ Chocolate has the most beautiful taste, so it brings me joy, and whenever I eat chocolate, I become happier.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'brings the most beautiful taste' is better expressed as 'has the most beautiful taste'; 'brings me a joy' should be 'brings me joy' without 'a'; 'I became more happy' should be present tense 'I become happier' to match the context; also, commas are needed for clarity.

× My mom always taught me and taught me that only one day of the week is it is for a sugary thing, sweet things, so I can eat the chocolate always on Saturday of the week.

✓ My mom always taught me that only one day of the week is for sugary things, so I can always eat chocolate on Saturday.

The phrase 'is it is for a sugary thing, sweet things' is incorrect and redundant. 'Sugary things' is plural and does not need 'a'. Also, 'the chocolate' should be 'chocolate' without the article. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correctness.

× Yeah, I.

✓ (No correction possible as the sentence is incomplete.)

The sentence is incomplete and cannot be corrected without additional context.

× When I was a kid, I was not keen on, I was not a huge fan of chocolate because I once tried very dark chocolate when I was a child.

✓ When I was a kid, I was not keen on chocolate; I was not a huge fan because I once tried very dark chocolate when I was a child.

The phrase 'I was not keen on,' is incomplete and needs the object 'chocolate'. Also, the sentence is better connected with a semicolon or conjunction for clarity.

× It was horrible taste.

✓ It had a horrible taste.

The phrase 'It was horrible taste' is incorrect because 'taste' is a noun and needs a determiner and verb 'had' to express possession. 'It had a horrible taste' is correct.

× It has horrible taste.

✓ It has a horrible taste.

The noun 'taste' requires an article 'a' when singular and countable. So, 'It has a horrible taste' is correct.

× So I was not a chocolate fan girl.

✓ So I was not a chocolate fan.

The phrase 'fan girl' is informal and unnecessary here. 'Chocolate fan' is sufficient and more appropriate.

× I don't know what the history of chocolate but world but chocolate is old sweet things around the whole world.

✓ I don't know the history of chocolate, but chocolate is an old sweet enjoyed around the whole world.

The sentence has redundant words and incorrect structure. 'What the history' should be 'the history'. 'World but chocolate' is incorrect. 'Old sweet things' should be singular 'an old sweet'. The sentence is restructured for clarity.

× So whole world would like a chocolate because it was a more.

✓ So the whole world would like chocolate because it is popular.

'Whole world' needs the definite article 'the'. 'A chocolate' is incorrect when referring to chocolate in general. 'Because it was a more' is incomplete and unclear; replaced with 'because it is popular' for meaning.

× I would say a milk chocolate is my favorite favorite one.

✓ I would say milk chocolate is my favorite one.

'A milk chocolate' is incorrect when referring to the type of chocolate in general. The article 'a' should be omitted. Also, 'favorite' is repeated unnecessarily.

× Milk chocolate has more sweet and more tastier than dark chocolates.

✓ Milk chocolate is sweeter and tastier than dark chocolate.

'More sweet' is incorrect; the comparative form is 'sweeter'. 'More tastier' is redundant; 'tastier' is correct. Also, 'dark chocolates' should be singular 'dark chocolate' when comparing types.

× Yes, I would say yes.

✓ Yes, I would say so.

The phrase 'I would say yes' is acceptable but repetitive here. 'I would say so' is more natural in response to the question.

× Even the chocolate has a celebration for it.

✓ Even chocolate has a celebration dedicated to it.

'The chocolate' is incorrect when referring to chocolate in general. Also, 'has a celebration for it' is awkward; 'dedicated to it' is clearer.

× It has a Valentine's Day.

✓ There is Valentine's Day.

'Valentine's Day' is a proper noun and does not need the article 'a'. The sentence is better expressed with 'There is Valentine's Day' to indicate the existence of the celebration.

× People give each other chocolate as a gift to each other.

✓ People give each other chocolate as a gift.

The phrase 'give each other... to each other' is redundant. 'Give each other chocolate as a gift' is sufficient.