Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and be more precise with your vocabulary. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as 'reduce' should be 'reduces' and 'happy structure' is unclear; consider saying 'sugar boosts happiness'.

例: Yes, I really like chocolate because it makes me feel happy and reduces my stress at work. I believe this is due to the sugar content, which can boost mood.

提案: Avoid excessive hesitation and filler words. Use more natural phrasing like 'I'm currently on a diet, so I try to limit my chocolate intake to once a month, which I think is sufficient.'

例: I'm currently on a diet, so I try to limit my chocolate intake to once a month, which I think is sufficient.

提案: Be careful with grammar and sentence structure. Instead of 'all of the chocolate in the world', say 'many types of chocolate'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I was very interested in chocolate as a child and tried many types. Although it was satisfying, I believe children should limit their consumption.

提案: Avoid vague phrases like 'because of that' and improve coherence by using linking words. Also, use more precise vocabulary, e.g., 'affordable' instead of 'price is less'.

例: That's a good question. I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it is widely available and affordable, so almost everyone can buy it.

提案: Correct grammar errors such as 'have' should be 'has'. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about benefits.

例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is dark chocolate because it has less sugar and can boost metabolism, which I think is beneficial for the body.

提案: Improve sentence structure and grammar, for example, 'everybody gets happy when they receive chocolate'. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent.

例: Yes, I think it's a good idea because most people like chocolate, and everyone feels happy when they receive it as a gift.

× Yes, I really like chocolate because umm, it makes me feel happy and reduce my stress in Word and umm, I think that's for the sugar because I think sugar is a happy structure.

✓ Yes, I really like chocolate because, umm, it makes me feel happy and reduces my stress at work, and umm, I think that's because of the sugar since I think sugar is a happy substance.

The verb 'reduce' should be in the third person singular form 'reduces' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'Word' is likely a typo for 'work'. The phrase 'that's for the sugar' is unclear and corrected to 'that's because of the sugar' for clarity. 'Happy structure' is corrected to 'happy substance' for better meaning.

× Uh, now I'm on diet so I'm trying to reduce eating chocolate, uh, so I, uh, eat chocolate, uh, once a month and I think it's enough.

✓ Uh, now I'm on a diet so I'm trying to reduce eating chocolate, uh, so I, uh, eat chocolate, uh, once a month and I think it's enough.

The phrase 'on diet' requires the indefinite article 'a' to be grammatically correct: 'on a diet'.

× Yes, I was really interested in chocolate when I was a child and I tried all of the chocolate in the world when I was child.

✓ Yes, I was really interested in chocolate when I was a child and I tried all of the chocolate in the world when I was a child.

The phrase 'when I was child' is missing the article 'a'. It should be 'when I was a child' to be grammatically correct.

× That was satisfying and but I think the child must limit their use.

✓ That was satisfying, but I think children must limit their use.

The conjunctions 'and but' are redundant; only 'but' is needed. Also, 'the child' is changed to 'children' to generalise the statement appropriately.

× That's good question. I think chocolate is popular around the world because of that.

✓ That's a good question. I think chocolate is popular around the world because of that.

The phrase 'good question' requires the indefinite article 'a' to be grammatically correct: 'a good question'.

× I think the price of it is less than other thing and everybody can buy it.

✓ I think its price is lower than other things and everybody can buy it.

The phrase 'the price of it' is better expressed as 'its price'. 'Less than other thing' is incorrect; 'lower than other things' is appropriate when comparing prices.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate and because it have less sugar and increase metabolism and I think it's useful for body and I really like it.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate because it has less sugar and increases metabolism, and I think it's useful for the body and I really like it.

The verbs 'have' and 'increase' should be in third person singular form 'has' and 'increases' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'and because' is corrected to 'because' for sentence flow. 'Useful for body' is corrected to 'useful for the body'.

× Yes, I think it's good idea because I think most people in the world like chocolate and everybody get happy when receive chocolate.

✓ Yes, I think it's a good idea because I think most people in the world like chocolate and everybody gets happy when they receive chocolate.

The phrase 'good idea' requires the indefinite article 'a'. The verb 'get' should be 'gets' to agree with singular 'everybody'. The phrase 'when receive chocolate' is missing the subject 'they'.