Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm, but it lacks clarity and contains some grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences more concise and clear, and avoid redundancy. For example, focus on one main reason and support it with a specific detail, using linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because I enjoy sweet flavors. Moreover, trying different types of chocolate is exciting for me since I consider myself a foodie.

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear but could be improved by using linking words to connect ideas smoothly and by correcting minor grammatical mistakes. Also, try to keep your answer within 3-4 sentences for conciseness.

例: When I was a kid, I used to eat chocolate every other day. However, after my pregnancy, I gained weight, so now I avoid eating chocolate and other sweets to stay healthy.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid filler words like 'Umm'. Use linking words to connect your points logically and provide specific reasons.

例: Yes, I ate chocolate almost every other day as a child because my parents allowed it. Additionally, I had a sweet tooth, so I really enjoyed eating chocolates.

提案: Your answer covers good points but is affected by hesitations and repetition. Try to speak more fluently and organize your ideas using linking words. Also, avoid repeating words unnecessarily and use precise vocabulary.

例: I believe chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste and affordability. Moreover, it is available in a wide range of prices, making it accessible to people from different economic backgrounds.

提案: Your answer is good but could be clearer and more grammatically correct. Try to avoid awkward phrasing and complete your sentences fully. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I enjoy almost every flavor of chocolate, but my favourite is white chocolate because of its delicate taste. Additionally, I like chocolates that are combined with nuts for added texture.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but is affected by repetition and incomplete sentences. Try to express your thoughts more clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically. Also, avoid repeating words and check grammar for accuracy.

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a perfect gift because most people like it. It is often given during celebrations as a symbol of happiness and sharing in my country.

× I like eating chocolate because I love eating sweet things more over the chocolates when whenever it goes into the mouth, it gives us so much relax to my mouth.

✓ I like eating chocolate because I love sweet things more than chocolates; whenever it goes into the mouth, it gives so much relaxation to my mouth.

The phrase 'more over the chocolates' is incorrect; the correct comparative preposition is 'more than'. Also, 'relax' should be a noun 'relaxation' to fit the context. The sentence structure was also improved for clarity.

× I like eating chocolate because I love eating sweet things more over the chocolates when whenever it goes into the mouth, it gives us so much relax to my mouth.

✓ I like eating chocolate because I love sweet things more than chocolates; whenever it goes into the mouth, it gives so much relaxation to my mouth.

The pronouns 'us' and 'my' are inconsistent in the same sentence. It should be consistent, so 'us' was removed to match 'my mouth'.

× When I was kid I used to eat chocolate every other day.

✓ When I was a kid, I used to eat chocolate every other day.

The phrase 'was kid' is missing the article 'a'. Also, a comma after the introductory clause improves readability.

× However now I am older I've gained so much weight after my pregnancy so now I'm avoiding eating chocolate or other sweet things.

✓ However, now that I am older, I've gained so much weight after my pregnancy, so now I'm avoiding eating chocolate and other sweet things.

Added commas for clarity and changed 'or' to 'and' to correctly list items being avoided.

× Yes, I have eaten chocolates like every other day because my mother or father did not had any problem but with me eating chocolates like other parents Umm.

✓ Yes, I used to eat chocolates every other day because my mother or father did not have any problem with me eating chocolates like other parents.

The phrase 'did not had' is incorrect; the correct past tense is 'did not have'. Also, 'have eaten' is changed to 'used to eat' to better express habitual past action.

× Yes, I have eaten chocolates like every other day because my mother or father did not had any problem but with me eating chocolates like other parents Umm.

✓ Yes, I used to eat chocolates every other day because my mother or father did not have any problem with me eating chocolates like other parents.

The preposition 'with' is correctly used here; no change needed. The sentence was restructured for clarity.

× Moreover, I had a sweet tooth during my childhood so I loved to eat in eating chocolates.

✓ Moreover, I had a sweet tooth during my childhood, so I loved eating chocolates.

The phrase 'loved to eat in eating' is incorrect. The correct form is 'loved eating'. Also, a comma before 'so' improves sentence structure.

× I think chocolate is very popular around all over the world because of its taste and because of, uh, it's in being inexpensive.

✓ I think chocolate is very popular all over the world because of its taste and because it is inexpensive.

The phrase 'around all over the world' is redundant; 'all over the world' is sufficient. 'It's in being' is incorrect; it should be 'it is' or 'it's'.

× The, the, the chocolate can come in and the, the chocolate comes in different kind of prices, such as from being cheaper to higher.

✓ Chocolate comes in different kinds of prices, ranging from cheaper to more expensive.

Repeated words 'the, the, the' are removed. 'Different kind of prices' should be 'different kinds of prices'. 'From being cheaper to higher' is awkward; 'ranging from cheaper to more expensive' is clearer.

× I enjoy almost every flavor of chocolate, but by one of the most favorite one is white chocolate because of its delicacy and taste.

✓ I enjoy almost every flavor of chocolate, but one of my most favorite is white chocolate because of its delicacy and taste.

The phrase 'by one of the most favorite one' is incorrect. It should be 'one of my most favorite'.

× Additionally, I like to eat chocolate when it's combined with nuts and other.

✓ Additionally, I like to eat chocolate when it's combined with nuts and others.

The phrase 'and other' is incomplete; it should be 'and others' to indicate other ingredients or items.

× Yes, I think it it is one of the perfect gift if you need to give it to someone because everyone like chocolates and it's a good.

✓ Yes, I think it is one of the perfect gifts if you need to give it to someone because everyone likes chocolates and it's good.

'Gift' should be plural 'gifts' after 'one of the'. 'Everyone like' should be 'everyone likes' for subject-verb agreement. 'It's a good' is incomplete; 'it's good' is correct.

× It's a expression of celebration and giving gifts to someone.

✓ It's an expression of celebration and giving gifts to someone.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a word starting with a vowel sound like 'expression'.

× In my country, most of the people like to give sweets to other people upon several kind of celebrations.

✓ In my country, most people like to give sweets to other people on several kinds of celebrations.

The phrase 'upon several kind of celebrations' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'on', and 'kind' should be plural 'kinds' to match 'several'.