Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct by using proper sentence structures and avoiding redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, instead of 'If it's the dark chocolate with no milk inside which is like only has the bitter taste, can't feel any sugars, I like those type of,' you can say 'I like dark chocolate without milk because it has a bitter taste and no sweetness.'

例: I like eating chocolate, but it depends on the type. For example, I prefer dark chocolate without milk because it tastes bitter and not too sweet. However, I cannot tolerate very sweet chocolates because they are too sugary for me.

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and grammatically incorrect. Try to express your idea clearly and use linking words to explain your reason. For example, you can say 'I usually eat chocolate only when I feel depressed, which is about once a month.'

例: I usually eat chocolate only when I feel depressed. So, I would say I eat it about once a month to cheer myself up.

提案: Try to organize your answer with clear sentences and avoid repetition. Use linking words to make your story coherent. For example, 'Yes, I loved eating chocolate as a kid. Although my mom stopped me from eating sweets, I secretly ate a lot of chocolate and hid the packages behind my bed.'

例: Yes, I loved eating chocolate when I was a kid. Even though my mom stopped me from eating sweets, I secretly ate a lot of chocolate and hid the wrappers behind my bed.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but needs clearer structure and linking words. Also, avoid repetition. For example, you can say 'Chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes good and can help people feel happier by stimulating hormone production when they are feeling down.'

例: Chocolate is popular around the world because it tastes delicious. Moreover, when people feel depressed, eating sweet chocolate can help stimulate hormones that make them feel happier.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using clearer sentence structures and linking words. For example, 'My favourite flavours are matcha and dark chocolate, especially 90% pure dark chocolate, because I prefer the slightly bitter taste over sweetness.'

例: My favourite flavours of chocolate are matcha and dark chocolate. I especially like 90% pure dark chocolate because I prefer its slightly bitter taste rather than sweet chocolate.

提案: Try to make your answer more coherent and natural by using linking words and clearer expressions. For example, 'I think giving chocolate as a gift depends on the brand and type because gifts show how much you value someone. Sometimes, chocolate alone may not be enough to express your feelings.'

例: I think giving chocolate as a gift depends on the brand and type. Gifts show how much you care about someone, and sometimes chocolate alone might not be enough to express your feelings fully.

× I do like to eat chocolate but actually it depends on what type of chocolate are they.

✓ I do like to eat chocolate but actually it depends on what type of chocolate it is.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrectly used to refer to 'type of chocolate', which is singular. The correct pronoun should be 'it' to agree with the singular noun 'type'.

× If it's the dark chocolate with no milk inside which is like only has the bitter taste, can't feel any sugars, I like those type of.

✓ If it's dark chocolate with no milk inside which only has the bitter taste, and you can't feel any sugar, I like that type.

The phrase 'those type of' is incorrect because 'type' is singular and should be preceded by 'that' instead of 'those'. Also, 'sugars' should be singular 'sugar' when referring to the substance in general.

× But if it's like the really sweet 1 I just cannot tolerate with the sugars.

✓ But if it's like the really sweet one, I just cannot tolerate the sugar.

The preposition 'with' is unnecessary after 'tolerate'. Also, '1' should be spelled out as 'one' and 'sugars' should be singular 'sugar' when referring to the substance in general.

× I only eat chocolate when I mean the depression.

✓ I only eat chocolate when I feel depressed.

The phrase 'mean the depression' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'feel depressed' to indicate the emotional state.

× So basically once for a month.

✓ So basically once a month.

The phrase 'once for a month' is incorrect. The correct quantifier is 'once a month' to indicate frequency.

× When I was a kid no matter what type of chocolate it is because my mom she stopped me from eating all the sweets and just to opponent just opposed her.

✓ When I was a kid, no matter what type of chocolate it was because my mom stopped me from eating all the sweets, and I just opposed her.

The pronoun 'she' is redundant after 'my mom'. Also, 'just to opponent just opposed her' is incorrect and should be 'I just opposed her'. The tense of 'it is' should be past tense 'it was' to match the past context.

× I choose to secretly secretly eat a lot of chocolate and just throw the package behind my bed.

✓ I chose to secretly eat a lot of chocolate and just throw the packages behind my bed.

The verb 'choose' should be in past tense 'chose' to match the past context. The adverb 'secretly' is repeated unnecessarily. Also, 'package' should be plural 'packages' as multiple packages are implied.

× Because it tastes good and when you are in depressions, your body needs to produce some hormones which needs to be stimulated by sweet Chocolate is the best way to stimulate your your body to produce hormones in order to make you happy.

✓ Because it tastes good, and when you are depressed, your body needs to produce some hormones which need to be stimulated by sweets. Chocolate is the best way to stimulate your body to produce hormones in order to make you happy.

The sentence is run-on and lacks proper punctuation. 'Depressions' should be singular 'depressed' as an adjective. 'Needs' should be 'need' to agree with plural 'hormones'. 'Sweet' should be plural 'sweets'. Repetition of 'your' is an error.

× My favorite flavors of chocolate is basically matcha chocolate or just dark chocolate.

✓ My favorite flavors of chocolate are basically matcha chocolate or just dark chocolate.

The subject 'flavors' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is' to agree in number.

× Probably 90% pure dark chocolate because just like what I have explained before, I only like the bit bitter taste instead of the sweetness that the sweet always bought me.

✓ Probably 90% pure dark chocolate because, just like I have explained before, I only like the slightly bitter taste instead of the sweetness that the sweet always brought me.

'Bit' should be 'slightly' to correctly modify 'bitter taste'. 'Bought' is incorrect; the past tense of 'bring' is 'brought'.

× I think it depends on the brand and the type of chocolate because when you're giving someone a gift, it really shows that how important you take that person to your heart.

✓ I think it depends on the brand and the type of chocolate because when you're giving someone a gift, it really shows how important that person is to your heart.

The phrase 'that how important you take that person to your heart' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'how important that person is to your heart'. The preposition 'to' is correctly used here.

× It shows your impressions.

✓ It shows your feelings.

'Impressions' is not the correct word in this context. 'Feelings' or 'sentiments' better express the intended meaning.

× A chocolate sometimes might not be enough to just show how important the person is to to you.

✓ Sometimes, chocolate might not be enough to show how important the person is to you.

The sentence has redundant words 'to to' and awkward structure. Removing 'just' and correcting redundancy improves clarity.