Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by avoiding redundancy and using linking words for coherence. Also, try to use more natural phrasing and avoid contradictory connectors like 'although' followed by 'but'.

例: I don't enjoy eating chocolate currently because it contains a lot of sugar, which makes me feel tired. Although the taste is satisfying, I try to avoid it as it's not good for my brain health.

提案: Your answer is concise and clear. To improve, you can combine the sentences using linking words and add a bit more detail to enrich the response.

例: I eat chocolate very rarely, probably about once a month, because I prefer to limit my sugar intake.

提案: Your answer is understandable but can be more natural by correcting phrases like 'often almost ate' and by using linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I used to eat chocolate almost every other day as a child because my parents or others often brought it as a treat.

提案: Good content but you can improve coherence by using linking words and more specific vocabulary. Also, avoid repeating 'around the world' twice.

例: Chocolate is enjoyed by people of all ages, including kids, adults, and the elderly, because of its unique and delicious flavor, which makes it popular worldwide.

提案: Your answer can be improved by combining sentences for better flow and using more precise vocabulary. Also, avoid starting sentences with 'And'.

例: My favourite flavour is dark chocolate because it is rich in nutrients and beneficial for mental health. I also enjoy its slightly bitter taste.

提案: There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use correct sentence structures and linking words to make your answer clearer and more natural.

例: Chocolate makes a great gift because many people love it, so I believe it is usually a safe and appreciated choice.

× I do not enjoy eating chocolate at the moment because it contains a lot of sugar and it makes you eventually tired.

✓ I do not enjoy eating chocolate at the moment because it contains a lot of sugar and it eventually makes you tired.

The adverb 'eventually' should be placed before the verb 'makes' to correctly modify it. In English, adverbs of time usually come before the main verb to indicate when the action happens.

× Although the taste is so satisfying but it's just not good for my brain so I try to avoid it.

✓ Although the taste is so satisfying, it's just not good for my brain, so I try to avoid it.

Using both 'Although' and 'but' together is redundant. 'Although' already introduces a contrast, so 'but' should be omitted. Also, commas are needed to separate clauses for clarity.

× Chocolates are something that is enjoyed by everyone, kids, adults and elderly people.

✓ Chocolate is something that is enjoyed by everyone: kids, adults, and elderly people.

'Chocolate' as a general substance is uncountable and should be singular. 'Chocolates' refers to individual pieces, which is plural. Here, the general term is appropriate, so singular 'Chocolate' is correct.

× My favorite flavor is dark chocolate, those are really rich in nutrition and good for your mental health as well.

✓ My favorite flavor is dark chocolate; it is really rich in nutrition and good for your mental health as well.

'Dark chocolate' is singular, so the pronoun referring to it should be singular 'it' instead of plural 'those'. Also, a semicolon or period is needed to separate the two independent clauses.

× And I love bitter taste of it.

✓ And I love the bitter taste of it.

The noun phrase 'bitter taste' requires the definite article 'the' to specify the particular taste being referred to.

× Mad chocolates are really good gifting option as a lot of people love chocolate and I don't think so they would go wrong with choice of it as a gifting purpose.

✓ Mad chocolates are really good gifting options as a lot of people love chocolate and I don't think they would go wrong with the choice of it as a gift.

'Gifting option' should be plural 'gifting options' to agree with 'Mad chocolates' which is plural. Also, 'I don't think so' is incorrect; it should be 'I don't think'. 'Choice of it as a gifting purpose' is awkward; 'the choice of it as a gift' is clearer and more natural.