Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "I love getting chocolate" and instead say "I love eating chocolate." Also, explain briefly why it reduces your stress to add depth.

例: Yes, I love eating chocolate, especially Dairy Milk, because its rich, creamy taste helps me relax after a long day.

提案: Good direct answer with relevant detail. To improve, connect your ideas with linking words and avoid repeating the same idea about relaxation twice.

例: Since I am health conscious, I only eat chocolate twice a month; however, I enjoy it because it helps me feel relaxed.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and unclear. Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details. Avoid repeating the same phrase and improve sentence structure.

例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child because I have loved its sweet taste since I was very young.

提案: Your answer needs better structure and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words, and provide specific reasons. Also, check brand names for accuracy and spelling.

例: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its sweet taste and variety. For example, famous brands like Kit Kat, Snickers, and Milky Way offer many flavors that appeal to different people.

提案: Your answer is too long and somewhat repetitive. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid repeating 'also.' Clarify the flavor name if possible and focus on specific reasons.

例: I enjoy many chocolate flavors, but my favorite is Tiramisu because it is sweet, crunchy, stress-relieving, and affordable.

提案: Good answer with clear reasons. To improve, use more varied vocabulary and link your ideas more smoothly. Also, 'birthday engagements' is unclear; use 'birthdays' or 'celebrations.'

例: I believe giving chocolate as a gift is a great idea because it is delicious and commonly given on birthdays and other special occasions to show appreciation and affection.

× Definitely when I was too young I ate chocolate because I like to eat chocolate since my childhood.

✓ Definitely, when I was very young, I ate chocolate because I liked to eat chocolate since my childhood.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. 'Like' should be in past tense 'liked' to match the past context. Also, 'too young' is better expressed as 'very young' for clarity.

× Chocolate is very famous in whole the world.

✓ Chocolate is very famous all over the world.

The phrase 'in whole the world' is incorrect. The correct prepositional phrase is 'all over the world' to express worldwide popularity.

× According to me everyone likes to eat chocolate because it has sweet taste and there are many flavors are very famous such as Jerry Miller, Kit Kats, Snickers and Moron.

✓ In my opinion, everyone likes to eat chocolate because it has a sweet taste, and many flavors are very popular, such as Dairy Milk, Kit Kat, Snickers, and M&M's.

The phrase 'According to me' is incorrect; 'In my opinion' is appropriate. 'Sweet taste' needs an article 'a'. The phrase 'there are many flavors are very famous' is redundant and incorrect; it should be 'many flavors are very popular'. Also, brand names were misspelled and corrected for accuracy.

× Although I like ample flavors of chocolate but my favorite flavor is Terimalu because it has very sweet taste and crunchy and I like to eat it because it reduces my stress also and moreover it is affordable also.

✓ Although I like many flavors of chocolate, my favorite flavor is Tiramisu because it has a very sweet and crunchy taste. I like to eat it because it also reduces my stress, and moreover, it is affordable.

The word 'ample' is not commonly used to describe flavors; 'many' is better. The sentence is run-on and needs to be split for clarity. 'Terimalu' is corrected to 'Tiramisu'. Articles are added before 'very sweet taste'. The word 'also' is better placed for natural flow.