Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'I' repeated unnecessarily. Make your answer more concise and clear by directly stating your preference and reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I like eating chocolate, especially dark chocolate, because it is healthier than white chocolate. Also, since I am trying to reduce my weight, dark chocolate helps me control my sugar intake.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure. Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to connect contrasting ideas. Be specific about frequency and reasons.

例: I usually eat chocolate two or three times a week. However, since I am in my 30s and trying to reduce my weight, I limit my sugar intake. But sometimes, due to stress and extra work, I eat chocolate to feel better.

提案: Try to speak more fluently without hesitation. Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words like 'because' and 'then' to show cause and effect.

例: When I was a kid, I ate a lot of chocolates, which affected my teeth. Because of this, when I became a teenager, I realized the importance of dental health and reduced my sugar intake.

提案: Make your answer more coherent by using linking words like 'because' and 'also'. Avoid redundancy and be specific about reasons for chocolate's popularity.

例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because people of all ages enjoy it. Also, it is commonly given as a gift, which adds to its popularity.

提案: Avoid filler words and complete your sentences. Use linking words like 'because' and 'also' to connect ideas. Be clear and concise about your preference and reasons.

例: My favourite flavour is dark chocolate because it is healthier and helps me reduce sugar intake. Also, I use dark chocolate for baking.

提案: Improve sentence structure and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'for example' and 'because' to explain your ideas clearly.

例: Yes, chocolate is a good gift option. For example, in India, we give chocolates during festivals and birthdays because it shows affection and care for others.

× dark chocolate that Hel that is more healthier than the, uh, white one and the other black 1.

✓ dark chocolate that is healthier than the white one and the other black one.

The phrase 'more healthier' is incorrect because 'healthier' is already a comparative adjective. Using 'more' with a comparative adjective is redundant. The correct form is 'healthier'. Also, 'black 1' seems to be a mispronunciation or typo and should be 'black one'.

× the chocolate helps to has has to reduce.

✓ the chocolate helps to reduce.

The phrase 'helps to has has to reduce' is incorrect. After 'helps to', the base form of the verb should be used, so 'reduce' is correct. The repeated 'has' is an error and should be removed.

× Mostly twice or thrice in a week I ate a chocolate.

✓ Mostly twice or thrice a week I eat chocolate.

The question asks about current habits, so present tense 'eat' should be used instead of past tense 'ate'. Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is uncountable here, so no article is needed.

× I'm like, uh, making a cut off for my sugar intake.

✓ I'm like, uh, making a cut in my sugar intake.

The correct preposition with 'cut' in this context is 'in' (making a cut in something), not 'off'. 'Cut off' usually means to stop something completely, which is not intended here.

× As when I, I was as a kid, I, uh, I ate lot of chocolates because of that day.

✓ When I was a kid, I ate a lot of chocolates, and because of that,

The phrase 'As when I, I was as a kid' is redundant and incorrect; 'When I was a kid' is sufficient. Also, 'ate lot of chocolates' should be 'ate a lot of chocolates' to include the article 'a'. The phrase 'because of that day' is unclear and should be rephrased for clarity.

× It affects my teeth.

✓ It affected my teeth.

Since the student is talking about past events, the past tense 'affected' should be used instead of present tense 'affects'.

× And uh, so, uh, when I became the teenager, I realized the importance of, uh, uh, uh, my health and my teeth.

✓ And so, when I became a teenager, I realized the importance of my health and my teeth.

The phrase 'the teenager' is incorrect; 'a teenager' is the correct indefinite article usage here. Also, unnecessary filler words should be omitted for clarity.

× Then I reduced the intake of sugar. Uh, now also I'm like trying to, uh.

✓ Then I reduced my sugar intake. Now, I am also trying to reduce it.

The phrase 'now also I'm like trying to, uh' is incomplete and unclear. It should be completed to express the current ongoing action in present continuous tense.

× Chocolate is one of the most popular items in the world because for all the age groups people like to eat chocolate so whenever and it is a like a we can give that as a gift for others and it is considered as one of the gift items.

✓ Chocolate is one of the most popular items in the world because people of all age groups like to eat it. Also, it is something we can give as a gift to others, and it is considered one of the gift items.

The sentence has pronoun misuse and awkward phrasing. 'For all the age groups people' should be 'people of all age groups'. 'We can give that as a gift for others' should be 'we can give it as a gift to others'. Also, unnecessary filler words should be removed for clarity.

× dark chocolate is one of the healthier option for me

✓ dark chocolate is one of the healthier options for me

The phrase 'one of the healthier option' is incorrect because 'one of the' should be followed by a plural noun. Therefore, 'options' is correct.

× I can use the, uh, dark chocolate, uh, for, uh, my baking as well, and it is one of.

✓ I can use dark chocolate for my baking as well, and it is one of my preferred choices.

The sentence is incomplete and has unnecessary filler words. Also, 'for my baking' is correct preposition usage here.

× chocolate is one of the one of the good option for the as a gift.

✓ Chocolate is one of the good options as a gift.

The phrase 'one of the one of the good option' is redundant and incorrect. It should be 'one of the good options'. Also, 'for the as a gift' is incorrect; 'as a gift' is sufficient.