Chocolate— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm but lacks natural phrasing and has grammatical errors. Try to use more natural expressions and avoid redundancy by combining ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because I love its sweet taste and rich aroma.

提案: Your answer is informative but contains grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use correct tenses and clearer expressions to improve clarity.

例: I used to eat chocolate every day when I was a child, but now I only eat it occasionally, usually when someone gives it to me, to avoid dental problems.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and unclear due to grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I ate chocolate very often as a child, sometimes even every day. At that time, I didn't realize how it could harm my teeth.

提案: Your answer has good points but needs better sentence structure and vocabulary. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I believe chocolate is popular worldwide because of its sweet taste and pleasant aroma. Additionally, it is affordable, so many people can enjoy it.

提案: Your answer is vague and grammatically incorrect. Be specific about your favourite flavour and use correct sentence structures.

例: I really enjoy sweet chocolate, especially milk chocolate, because it has a creamy and smooth taste.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more concise and natural. Use linking words and correct grammar to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I think chocolate is a great gift because most people enjoy it. For instance, it's a popular present on Valentine's Day to show love and appreciation.

× Just I love eating the chocolate and I eat chocolate a lot.

✓ I just love eating chocolate and I eat chocolate a lot.

The adverb 'just' should come after the subject 'I' to maintain correct word order in English sentences.

× I love eating the chocolate and I eat chocolate a lot.

✓ I love eating chocolate and I eat chocolate a lot.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before 'chocolate' when speaking generally about the food.

× I love the sweet and the smell of the chocolate.

✓ I love the sweetness and the smell of chocolate.

The noun 'sweet' should be 'sweetness' to correctly express the quality, and 'the' before 'chocolate' is unnecessary when speaking generally.

× Now when I am older I still love eating chocolate, but I only eat the chocolate when I was gifted to avoid being decayed.

✓ Now that I am older, I still love eating chocolate, but I only eat chocolate when I am gifted it to avoid tooth decay.

The phrase 'when I was gifted' should be in present tense 'when I am gifted' to match the current time frame. Also, 'being decayed' is incorrect; 'to avoid tooth decay' is the proper expression.

× I only eat the chocolate when I was gifted to avoid being decayed.

✓ I only eat chocolate when I am gifted it to avoid tooth decay.

The pronoun 'it' is needed after 'gifted' to indicate what is gifted. Also, 'being decayed' is incorrect; 'to avoid tooth decay' is the correct phrase.

× I got it is have times and every day I got.

✓ I got it sometimes and every day I got some.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. Correcting it to 'I got it sometimes and every day I got some' clarifies the meaning and corrects sentence structure.

× I was very young before I couldn't realise the art effect that it have on my teeth.

✓ I was very young before and couldn't realize the harmful effect it had on my teeth.

The pronoun 'it' refers to chocolate and should be followed by 'had' (past tense) to agree with 'was very young before'. Also, 'art effect' is likely a typo for 'harmful effect'.

× I think it is popular because of chocolate can impress the people by its sweet and smell.

✓ I think it is popular because chocolate can impress people with its sweetness and smell.

The phrase 'because of chocolate can' is incorrect; it should be 'because chocolate can'. Also, 'impress the people' should be 'impress people', and 'sweet' should be 'sweetness'.

× Moreover, chocolate is very cheap, everyone can afford to buy a.

✓ Moreover, chocolate is very cheap; everyone can afford to buy it.

The article 'a' is incomplete and incorrect here; 'buy it' is the correct phrase to refer to chocolate.

× I am a big fan of sweet food, therefore I am so love to eat the sweet or the chocolate.

✓ I am a big fan of sweet food; therefore, I love to eat sweets and chocolate.

The phrase 'I am so love to eat' is incorrect; it should be 'I love to eat'. Also, 'the sweet or the chocolate' is awkward; 'sweets and chocolate' is better.

× Yes, I think almost people in the world love eating chocolate, so that giving the chocolate bar to the others the good way to express our emotion and respect to them.

✓ Yes, I think almost everyone in the world loves eating chocolate, so giving chocolate bars to others is a good way to express our emotions and respect to them.

'Almost people' should be 'almost everyone'. 'Giving the chocolate bar to the others the good way' is ungrammatical; it should be 'giving chocolate bars to others is a good way'. Also, 'emotion' should be plural 'emotions'.

× For example, in Valentine's Day, the chocolate is perfect present for the couple.

✓ For example, on Valentine's Day, chocolate is the perfect present for a couple.

The preposition 'in' should be 'on' for days. 'The chocolate' should be 'chocolate' when speaking generally. 'Perfect present' needs the definite article 'the'. 'The couple' should be 'a couple' unless referring to a specific couple.